tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-315301882024-03-07T14:58:14.920-07:00Are We Having Fun Yet?This is a place where I can post family updates and ramble about things as I try to find my way since the recent death of my daughter. Life has completely changed for my sons, my husband and myself. Our faith has been a great source of comfort and we'll continue to rely on it as we press forward.Nancy Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00394280332224329165noreply@blogger.comBlogger295125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31530188.post-85347105947311871392022-05-31T19:25:00.005-07:002022-05-31T19:38:54.074-07:00Forever Young<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">I first wrote this on 8-10-2015 but just realized that I never published it! So here it is! <br /><br /> I'm preparing to record an episode of "Heart to Heart
with Anna" with Anna Jaworski this afternoon. The topic is near and dear to my heart,
"<a href="https://www.spreaker.com/user/7668348/encore-presentation-forever-young-cognit " target="_blank">Forever Young: Dealing with Cognitive Impairments and Congenital HeartDefects</a>". (Publish date: February 26, 2016)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">
As many of you know, Jessica was born with DiGeorge Syndrome
which can cause CHD (congenital heart defects), learning disabilities and
cognitive impairments. Jessica also
suffered 2 strokes, each of which caused some severe impairments including
inability to learn speech, blindness, paralysis, etc. We were very blessed that through a lot of
hard work and prayers, Jessica regained most of the physical deficits that were
lost but she never progressed cognitively beyond the age of a 7 - 8 year old
leaving her "Forever Young". <o:p></o:p></div>
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I had to be creative in teaching her how to do things
because she didn't learn the way most children do. After she had her strokes I had to re-teach
her how to sit up, walk, talk and everything else she had learned up to that
point. It was devastating to see her
struggling and she would get upset when she tried to do something, such as
grabbing something with her left hand, that she knew she used to be able to
do. She would often get mad and throw
her left arm aside as if to say, "This doesn't work anymore so get it out
of my way!" We would have to hold
her right arm down and put a toy she wanted out to her left side so that she
would have to use it. We would have to
tell her to use it and lift it up for her to encourage her to use it. She would get tired easily because of her
heart issues so we would have to do short segments throughout the day. Since the physical therapist only came
once/week or once every-other week, I would have to work with her numerous
times a day.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Sometimes I would work on one word with her, showing her how
to form the word with her mouth. She
would try and try again until she would get frustrated. I worked with her when I fed her, when I
bathed her, when we would do our other daily therapies and before I put her to
bed. Some days I would go to bed
exhausted, wondering if it was worth it.
She would finally learn that word and she would be soooo excited! We would say it over and over again but
sometimes she would somehow lose it in her sleep and not be able to say it
clearly the next day. We would work
again until she got it back. This was my
life for years. I knew that if I didn't
give my all to teach her, nobody would and she wouldn't be able to communicate.
She craved communicating with others and
I knew that Heavenly Father was counting on ME to teach His child. </div>
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Jessica was a loving, innocent, thoughtful, imaginative
little girl who lit up any room she entered.
She took pleasure in the little things in life and enjoyed spending time
with others. I'm so very grateful that she was blessed to have regained most of what was lost with those strokes. Her life was difficult enough already and the strokes were devastating. Watching her work so hard, gave me the strength I needed to work hard as well. I rejoiced with each little bit of progress she made. She really taught ME how to be tenacious and to push forward. I'm grateful for everything she taught me and for each moment we had together... and she's with me still!<br /><br /><br /><o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Note: this is only a portion of the blog post. Please visit the blog to see the rest of the post. Thank you!</div>Nancy Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00394280332224329165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31530188.post-49657766760947005112016-05-07T00:21:00.004-07:002022-06-02T15:40:48.215-07:00I Testify That Angels Are Sent To Help Us<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="_5pbx userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id="js_36" style="font-size: 14px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.38; overflow: hidden;"><div class="text_exposed_root text_exposed" id="id_572d912c64e4a9177762328" style="display: inline;"><div style="color: #0b5394; display: block; margin: 0px 0px 6px; text-align: center;">I came across this post I made on Facebook last year just 7 days following major surgery. I had forgotten about this post but since Facebook sends reminders of posts we made "On This Day", I decided that I didn't want to forget about this experience and the testimony I shared so I'm posting it here.</div>
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I can also testify that angels are all around us to help us through whatever trials we are going through. I love that Jessica finds ways of letting me know that she is near. I could feel her love as well as many others when I was preparing for surgery and while in the hospital afterwards. I was dealing with a great amount of pain while trying to come out of the anesthesia. My oxygen saturation kept dropping down into the low 70% which is really bad for most of us. I w<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">as having a hard time waking up and wasn't breathing like I should so they couldn't give me any more pain meds. I could tell that the nurse really felt bad that she couldn't take away my pain. She would keep reminding me to take deep breaths and she tried to get me to relax but I was in so much pain all my muscles were tightening up. She said that I would hold my breath because it hurt so much to breathe which was also a natural response to dealing with pain but I needed to take deep breaths in order to bring my O2 sats up. While going in and out of consciousness and trying to breathe through the pain I was praying for help from the other side of the veil. I remember praying silently through the tears for the Lord to send Jessica to be by my side and to help me through the physical and emotional pain. I felt comforted by the Holy Spirit telling me that Jessica was already by my side as well as many other angels. It took much longer for me to get to where they could move me to a room and for them to allow Karl to come in and be with me.</span></div>
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<div style="color: #0b5394; margin: 0px 0px 6px; text-align: center;">When I was moved into a private recovery room I noticed that there was a picture of a butterfly on the wall. I asked the nurse if there were photos of butterflies in all of the recovery rooms and she said no, my room was the only one. I told her that my daughter, Jessica, promised to send me butterflies from heaven before she died and that I knew she was with me because I was in the only room with a butterfly. She was touched by that and said that Jessica definitely was with me. </div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;">Through it all and since I've been home I have felt my loving </span><a class="profileLink" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=100004593186643" href="https://www.facebook.com/angel.jess.165" style="cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><span style="color: magenta;">Angel Jess</span></a><span style="color: #0b5394;"> helping me. I have no doubt that other angels are helping me too. I'm sure that my grandparents, aunt, nephew, cousin and more are cheering me on. I'm so grateful for the Plan of Salvation and the opportunity to be with my fall through all eternity. ♡</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;">I can also testify that angels are all around us to help us through whatever trials we are going through. I love that Jessica finds ways of letting me know that she is near. I could feel her love as well as many others when I was preparing for surgery and while in the hospital afterwards. I was dealing with a great amount of pain while trying to come out of the anesthesia. My oxygen saturation kept dropping down into the low 70% which is really bad for most of us. I w<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">as having a hard time waking up and wasn't breathing like I should so they couldn't give me any more pain meds. I could tell that the nurse really felt bad that she couldn't take away my pain. She would keep reminding me to take deep breaths and she tried to get me to relax but I was in so much pain all my muscles were tightening up. She said that I would hold my breath because it hurt so much to breathe which was also a natural response to dealing with pain but I needed to take deep breaths in order to bring my O2 sats up. While going in and out of consciousness and trying to breathe through the pain I was praying for help from the other side of the veil. I remember praying silently through the tears for the Lord to send Jessica to be by my side and to help me through the physical and emotional pain. I felt comforted by the Holy Spirit telling me that Jessica was already by my side as well as many other angels. It took much longer for me to get to where they could move me to a room and for them to allow Karl to come in and be with me.</span></span></div>
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When I was moved to a private room I noticed that there was a large photo of a butterfly on the wall. I asked the nurse if they had pictures of butterflies in all of the private recovery rooms and she said no. My room was the only room that had a photo of a butterfly. I told her that my daughter promised to send me butterflies from heaven before she died and I knew that she was with me because I was in the only room with a photo of a butterfly. The nurse teared up and agreed that my daughter was with me. </div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;">Through it all and since I've been home I have felt my loving </span><a class="profileLink" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=100004593186643" href="https://www.facebook.com/angel.jess.165" style="cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><span style="color: magenta;">Angel Jess</span></a><span style="color: #0b5394;"> helping me. I have no doubt that other angels are helping me too. I'm sure that my grandparents, aunt, nephew, cousin and more are cheering me on. I'm so grateful for the Plan of Salvation and the opportunity to be with my fall through all eternity. ♡</span></div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Note: this is only a portion of the blog post. Please visit the blog to see the rest of the post. Thank you!</div>Nancy Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00394280332224329165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31530188.post-72197069167738498002016-02-29T21:35:00.000-07:002016-04-09T21:53:58.706-07:00Letting Go<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.38;">On this last (extra) day of February I feel it's fitting to post this photo. My dear friend </span><a class="profileLink" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=830357137" href="https://www.facebook.com/Livin4him38" style="background-color: white; color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.38; text-decoration: none;">Jen L Baker</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.38;">'s daughter, Jessi, passed away just a couple of days ago from congestive heart failure due to CHDs and leukemia, etc. As you all know my daughter, </span><a class="profileLink" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=100004593186643" href="https://www.facebook.com/angel.jess.165" style="background-color: white; color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.38; text-decoration: none;">Angel Jess</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.38;"> passed away from CHDs and Ischemic Bowel Syndrome 5 years ago.</span><br />
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My heart has been so heavy knowing that my dear friend and her family are going through the heartbreak of losing a child too. A lot of what I went through with Jessica has come back to me. Watching Jessica take her final breath and watching her heart stop forever came back as if it happened yesterday. There are times that my loss feels so raw and all I want to do is hold my daughter one more time. As I count the months and years that go by at times I still feel as if I'm in that moment again, telling her to go to the light while on the inside I was crying, "Don't leave me!!!" That's the ultimate sacrifice. Thinking of her welfare above my own. That's what Jen had to do as well.</div>
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Praying for your child to be taken in order for their suffering to end is the least selfish thing a parent can do for their dying child. We fought for our daughters their whole lives, getting them the best care they deserve, best possible education, best therapies, home nurses, fighting with insurance companies, medical supply companies and sometimes fighting with doctors and other medical professionals to LISTEN to us because we're the ones who are there 24/7 and we know our children better than anyone else. For 22 years + 4 months for me and almost 22 years for Jen, the last thing we ever wanted to do was to pray for our daughters to leave us but when they have fought so long and so hard and are so tired.... that's when we tell them that it's time to go. We say that will be ok even if we feel like we're lying to them, that's what we say so that they will be able to go. Because we love them. that. much.</div>
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I don't have all the answers but grief is something we all must endure sometime in our lives. Grief is messy, it's ugly and it attacks at a whim. There is no timeline for grief and if you think that there are only 5 stages to it or that they come in a particular order, ... you're wrong. Grief has made me say things I never would have said or cried when I never would have cried. It has made me tired, achy and depressed. It has also made me more compassionate and to see the eternal aspects of life with a whole new meaning.</div>
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Please be patient with those of us who are still grieving or have just begun this very difficult path. Parents of special needs, medically fragile children like Jen and I have experienced what they call "Anticipatory grief" for many years, not from us sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves, but from watching our children fight for their lives again and again and again over the years. Having medical professionals tell us that our child could die at any moment doesn't help that anxiety any either. I have suffered from PTSD for many years having seen my child go through countless hospitalizations, many surgeries including 5 heart surgeries, suffering strokes, being blind and paralyzed, etc. Jessica's death was the ultimate cause of PTSD and I still have flashbacks of the most difficult times in Jessica's life and her death. Her long, painful, difficult death.</div>
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This life is not one for the weak of heart.... except that I used to be one of those. I used to throw up in the downstairs bathroom as soon as I got to the hospital before I could go upstairs to see my newborn baby in the PICU when she was first diagnosed with her CHDs. There were times when I had to pray to God saying, "You gave me this child, please make my stomach strong enough that I can change her bandages without throwing up on them." I was one who sat and prayed over her for hours at a time, walking the halls of the hospital with her, doing therapies with her and sitting up with her at night giving her breathing treatments so that she could breathe to live one more day. I was the one who stayed up all night with her as she got older because her anxiety got so bad at night. I was the one who spent the most time with her and did the most for her... and I was the lucky one. My husband had to work to provide a roof over our heads, my sons had to go to school. I was the one who got to spend time watching tv with her late into the night, talking with her, listening to her, calming her fears and holding her. I am the one who benefitted from her beautiful spirit the most and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat if it were asked of me to do again.</div>
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I know that a lot of other CHD moms, dads and other parents of medically fragile children have been down this road. I know you sacrifice a lot for your children and I see you. I see your sacrifices and your pain but I see the love that you have for your child and it makes me smile. Big.</div>
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So on this last day of CHD Awareness month I want to leave with you this image of my husband and I saying 'good bye for now' to our beautiful angel. Far too many CHD families have to say good bye to their children because CHD or CHD-related diseases claimed their lives too soon.<br />
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Note: this is only a portion of the blog post. Please visit the blog to see the rest of the post. Thank you!</div>Nancy Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00394280332224329165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31530188.post-66267843010676181922015-10-14T14:22:00.000-07:002015-10-14T14:47:21.291-07:00Silly Socks & Jess<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is a shortened version of the <a href="http://fancydancy.blogspot.com/2012/09/the-story-of-christmas-silly-socks.html" target="_blank">story that I posted online in 2012</a>. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;">I posted the link to a longer version which has more photos a</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;">t the end of this note</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"> as well as the link in the last sentence</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;">. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Having felt quite alone as a CHD mom for the first 12 years of Jessica's life, I went online in 2000 to see if I could find a support group for families with children with CHD (congenital heart defects). I found on email support group through CHIN (Children's Heart Information Network) called pdheart. I told our story of how Jessica had endured 5 heart surgeries, 2 strokes and that there wasn't anything else that could be done for her except comfort care. Jessica’s health was declining and we didn't know if she would survive until Christmas. The members on pdheart embraced us and wanted to know how they could show their support. It was a tradition on that support group to wear Christmas Socks for a child when they were going through a hard time so people all around the world started to wear Christmas Socks in Jessica's honor. The word spread like wildfire and to our amazement within a couple of months there were over 12 countries and at least 5,000 people wearing Christmas socks (or Hanukkah socks) as a way to show of their love, support and prayers. Jessica started receiving mail from all over the world as well. She LOVED the attention of course.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Christmas came and Jessica seemed to have improved a little. We enjoyed time with family and were so thankful for all the support. After Christmas was over I started receiving emails from my new-found friends asking what type of socks they should wear next! Soon Valentine's Day socks, Easter socks, Summer socks, polka-dot socks, and even toe socks were being sported around the world in hopes that Jessica would meet the next holiday and the next. After a while everyone started referring to them as "Silly Socks". </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There were many times that Jessica was at death's door and would come back to us. She had many issues including extreme heart arrhythmia, worsening congestive heart failure, bouts of nausea and worsening abdominal pain. She was diagnosed with Ischemia of the Bowels which is a very painful and terminal disease if surgery isn't possible and unfortunately for Jessica, there was nothing that could be done. In 2004 Jessica was placed in hospice due to daily lung bleeds. During that time loving people around the world were praying for and wearing their Silly Socks for Miss Jess. Jessica's hospice nurse took a shot in the dark and recommended morphine therapy to Jessica's pulmonologist and to everyone's amazement the lung bleeds STOPPED!!! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">During all of this Jessica continued to be as happy, loving and giving as she could be. Due to strokes, lack of oxygen to her body & brain (her whole life) and the diagnosis of DiGeorge, sweet Jessica never progressed beyond the level of a 7 - 8 year old. She was always our "little girl" who loved Barbies, princesses, Harry Potter, etc. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the summer of 2010 Jessica was nearing the end stages of heart disease and the ischemic bowel disease so we admitted her into a home hospice once again. When I announced the news to our friends on pdheart & other support groups, facebook and other social media, they once again rallied together to wear their Silly Socks for her - not for her to get better, but for her passing to be peaceful and for strength for our family. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our dear, sweet, beautiful Jessica Marie went to be with the Lord on October 4, 2010. TEN YEARS after the first Christmas & Silly Socks were first worn on her behalf.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don't believe that certain socks have any particular powers but what I do believe is that God hears and answers prayers. Friends, family, church members, fellow heart families and even strangers all around the world from all walks of life, all faiths and even self-proclaimed atheists came together on behalf of one sweet, innocent, loving child. The miracle wasn't for her to be cured, but it was to bring all these wonderful people together for a good cause. Thank you to all of you who have been such a wonderful support to us in the past and who continue to wear their Silly Socks & send messages of support. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every year on Jessica's birthday and angelversary we have a Silly Socks FB event where people share photos of their Silly Socks in honor of Jessica and to show their love and support for our family. Jessica’s worst fear was that she would be forgotten. “Oh, my dear sweet girl, how could you ever think that anyone could forget such a strong, courageous, loving child as you?” We’ve met so many people since her death who have never met her who can still feel her legacy of love, hope and faith! Jessica's quote, when I asked, “What would you want the world to know?” and she immediately said, “Tell everyone that I said to NEVER GIVE UP! OK, Mommy? You need to tell the world that I said to NEVER, EVER GIVE UP!” NEVER give up HOPE! NEVER give up FAITH! And NEVER, EVER give up on LOVE.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here is the link to the original story that I posted in 2000 and edited in 2012. It has photos from that first Christmas the socks were worn (2000).</span></span></div>
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<a href="http://fancydancy.blogspot.com/2012/09/the-story-of-christmas-silly-socks.html" style="color: #6699cc; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; text-decoration: none;">The Story of Christmas & Silly Socks</a> </div>
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<img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEht82zXJ3OWFQj-4RkessJ2CsLc08z-QzWIjso_OONH-FIMzak1iX02BUR6D3M7wE-qgMjGdmFHu8CSz_ZXf-CiLZlVA9f_wCnAcXXLCjYHYUkW_Zk9h_yWd9GHwDNeFawR1R-Pvg/s400/christmas_socks_00.jpg" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;" width="400" /></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;">Wearing Christmas socks: L-R</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;">Jessica's Aunt Alice (only one foot in photo), her Aunt Mandy, Jessica (herself -purple pants), her Aunt Karen and me - the Mom </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">To read more about Jessica's CHDs (Congenital Heart Defects) click </span><b style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://fancydancy.blogspot.com/2015/08/tetralogy-of-fallot-with-pulmonary.html" target="_blank">here</a></b><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"> and </span><b style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://fancydancy.blogspot.com/2014/07/jessica-early-years.html" target="_blank">here</a></b><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">. To learn more about Jessica's 5 heart surgeries please click </span><b style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://fancydancy.blogspot.com/2007/05/five.html" target="_blank">here</a></b><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">. </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"> </span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; font-weight: normal; line-height: 20px;"><br />Thank you for stopping by! </span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal; line-height: 20px;"> </span></div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Note: this is only a portion of the blog post. Please visit the blog to see the rest of the post. Thank you!</div>Nancy Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00394280332224329165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31530188.post-20709203171129988902015-10-09T08:11:00.001-07:002022-06-02T15:33:32.684-07:005 Year Angelversary & CCHD Conference<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="_209g _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="3degs-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor1.0.0.$3degs" style="background-color: white; color: #373e4d; direction: ltr; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span data-offset-key="3degs-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor1.0.0.$3degs.0:$3degs-0-0">I hope you all will bear with me. Jessica's angelversary was on Sunday but I am still having difficulty accepting that it's been 5 years since I held my beautiful, amazing, sweet, loving daughter </span><span class="_5u8u" data-offset-key="3degs-1-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor1.0.0.$3degs.$3degs-1-0" spellcheck="false" style="background-color: #dce6f8;"><span data-offset-key="3degs-1-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor1.0.0.$3degs.$3degs-1-0.$3degs-1-0"><span data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor1.0.0.$3degs.$3degs-1-0.$3degs-1-0.0">Angel Jess</span></span></span><span data-offset-key="3degs-2-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor1.0.0.$3degs.2:$3degs-2-0">. The pain isn't as raw as it used to be and I am able to focus on other things but sometimes it feels like an eternity until I get to see her again. Since my presentation at the CCHD (Critical Congenital Heart Defects) I have felt my girl pushing me to share more of her story. There are many amazing stories that I haven't put into writing and I've been too grief-stricken to write about them but since my presentation I've realized how important it is for her story to be told. Jessica's legacy should be shared so that it can live on. She was the most brave, amazing, determined, loving, generous, miraculous "little girl" I'll ever know and I'm soooo grateful that I get to be her mom for all eternity. </span></div>
<div class="_209g _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="3nhbv-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor1.0.0.$3nhbv" style="background-color: white; color: #373e4d; direction: ltr; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="3nhbv-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor1.0.0.$3nhbv.0:$3nhbv-0-0">I was touched by the concern of the doctors, nurses and midwives who attended and it was great to see one of Jessica's peds cardiologists again. After the presentation he told me that Jessica was a pioneer. It was because of mine & my husband's decisions to have her go through certain surgeries and procedures that many CHD children are benefiting from having them available now. Jessica was the 9th child to ever have the surgery called "Unifocalization of the Collaterals" in all of the US. At the time it was the only hope for Jessica of ever receiving her complete repair. Sadly it did not work for Jess but it is saving lives every day now. They do the surgery at a much younger age now but it wasn't available for Jess until she was 5 years old. </span></div>
<div class="_209g _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="deech-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor1.0.0.$deech" style="background-color: white; color: #373e4d; direction: ltr; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="deech-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor1.0.0.$deech.0:$deech-0-0">I also had to fight the school district for them to honor Jessica's DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) orders. After over 2 years, I was able to talk to the legal team and we came up with an agreement that DNRs would be honored if there was an Emergency Plan. Believe it or not, it came down to me that someone on the Board of Directors said, "We're not in the business of having dead children on campus". That was the reason they didn't want to honor the DNR orders. They were worried that an ambulance wouldn't take her to the hospital if they didn't start CPR. I found out that they would so that helped my case. Jessica earned the right to die peacefully. Besides, her heart was enlarged so if they started compressions it would only damage her already compromised heart and if they did mouth-to-mouth (as it was done back then) they would have to take off her oxygen so that would have been doing more damage than good. As I was telling this story I held up the original "Emergency Plan" that was the first one ever to be done in the school district. Since then both Karl and I have met people who have thanked us for setting it into place because they had children with DNR orders too. </span></div>
<div class="_209g _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="ckn2h-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor1.0.0.$ckn2h" style="background-color: white; color: #373e4d; direction: ltr; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="ckn2h-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor1.0.0.$ckn2h.0:$ckn2h-0-0">I had the opportunity to talk to the person in charge of newborn screening in all of Arizona and I shared a flyer that was sent to me by </span><span class="_5u8u" data-offset-key="ckn2h-1-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor1.0.0.$ckn2h.$ckn2h-1-0" spellcheck="false" style="background-color: #dce6f8;"><span data-offset-key="ckn2h-1-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor1.0.0.$ckn2h.$ckn2h-1-0.$ckn2h-1-0"><span data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor1.0.0.$ckn2h.$ckn2h-1-0.$ckn2h-1-0.0">Hazel Greig-Midlane</span></span></span><span data-offset-key="ckn2h-2-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor1.0.0.$ckn2h.2:$ckn2h-2-0"> from the UK (THANKS AGAIN!) and we are going to work together to create one to send home with every mother of a newborn baby. The flyer lists all the symptoms that a baby with CCHD - Critical Congenital Heart Defects - would have. Oh how I wish I had had one to put on my fridge to help me know that my daughter was in congestive heart failure. Jessica almost died because I didn't know she was dying. We were told numerous times that if we hadn't brought her in that day she wouldn't have survived through one more night.</span></div>
<div class="_209g _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="bb1ch-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor1.0.0.$bb1ch" style="background-color: white; color: #373e4d; direction: ltr; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="bb1ch-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor1.0.0.$bb1ch.0:$bb1ch-0-0">This is why CHD & CCHD Awareness is so important. We need to save the lives of babies with CCHD by educating new parents about them. Far too many parents don't know the symptoms and aren't as fortunate as we were. We almost missed out on the best 22 years of our lives with Miss Jessica Marie. We are forever grateful for those years. </span></div>
<div class="_209g _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="4oapc-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor1.0.0.$4oapc" style="background-color: white; color: #373e4d; direction: ltr; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="4oapc-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor1.0.0.$4oapc.0:$4oapc-0-0">Many of you have told me that you miss hearing stories about Jessica and I think I am finally ready to start writing and sharing those stories. Thank you all for your continues support and love. <3 span=""></3></span></div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Note: this is only a portion of the blog post. Please visit the blog to see the rest of the post. Thank you!</div>Nancy Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00394280332224329165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31530188.post-71839248977331230022015-08-13T21:29:00.000-07:002015-08-13T21:31:35.843-07:00Tetralogy of Fallot with Pulmonary Atresia - Jessica style<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: navy; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 115%;">A friend asked me to help her as she is going to school and needed to interview someone who has experience parenting a Special Needs child. She thought of Jessica and me and I'm so glad that I had the chance to help out. I spent quite a bit of time on it today and am including a link about Jessica's heart surgeries so that I don't have to write all of that again. Here is what I wrote </span><span style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-weight: normal; line-height: 115%;">in answer to these three questions:</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="line-height: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="color: #373e4d;">1- What exactly was Jess's congenital</span></span></span><span style="line-height: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="color: #373e4d;"> defect? </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="color: #373e4d;">2- How many surgeries did she have and what was done </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="line-height: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="color: #373e4d;">3- How did her defect (and surgeries) </span></span></span><span style="line-height: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="color: #373e4d;">affect her school and academic learning?</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: navy; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; line-height: 115%;"><u>Jessica’s heart defects were: </u><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">(I am using my own words to describe the heart defects)</span></span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: navy; font-family: "Franklin Gothic Book","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">1 - 4. </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-family: "Franklin Gothic Book","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><u>Tetralogy
of Fallot</u><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="color: #0000a0; font-family: "Franklin Gothic Book","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 115%;">which consists of 4 heart defects</span><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-family: "Franklin Gothic Book","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">: </span><span style="color: navy; font-family: "Franklin Gothic Book","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></h4>
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<span style="color: navy; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.3999996185303px;"> 1</span><span style="color: navy; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 115%;">. </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Ventricular
Septal Defect (VSD): </span><span style="color: navy; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span><span style="color: navy; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18.3999996185303px;">A </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18.3999996185303px;">Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD),</span><span style="color: navy; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18.3999996185303px;"> is a large hole in the septum (heart wall) between the bottom two chambers (ventricles) of her heart.</span></h4>
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<span style="color: navy; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.3999996185303px;"> 2</span><span style="color: navy; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18.3999996185303px;">. </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.3999996185303px;">Overriding Aorta: </span><span style="color: navy; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18.3999996185303px;">The Aorta is a huge artery that takes blood from the heart to the body. An </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18.3999996185303px;">Overriding Aorta</span><span style="color: navy; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18.3999996185303px;"> is when that artery sits directly over the VSD and allows blood from both of the bottom two chambers to go up into the Aorta and out to the body. A normal Aorta usually sits right on top of the Left Ventricle. </span></h4>
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<span style="color: navy; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> 3</span><span style="color: navy; font-family: "Franklin Gothic Book","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 115%;">. </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-family: "Franklin Gothic Book","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Pulmonary
Stenosis: </span><span style="color: navy; font-family: "Franklin Gothic Book","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.3999996185303px;">Pulmonary Stenosis</span><span style="color: navy; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.3999996185303px;"> is where there is narrowing in the pulmonary artery (which takes blood from the heart to the lungs to receive oxygen). Jessica’s narrowing was as severe as it gets. It was narrow all the way through. To top it off Jessica’s pulmonary arteries only branched out to 1/3 of each lung. </span></span></h4>
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<span style="color: navy; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> 4</span><span style="color: navy; font-family: "Franklin Gothic Book","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 115%;">. </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-family: "Franklin Gothic Book","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Right
Ventricular Hypertrophy: </span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.3999996185303px;">Right Ventricular Hypertrophy</span><span style="color: navy; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.3999996185303px;"> is where the wall of the heart around the Right Ventricle (the bottom right side or chamber of the heart) is thickened because of the extra work placed on it to pump blood out to the body rather than just to the lungs.</span></span></h4>
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<span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-family: "Franklin Gothic Book","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><u>Jessica also had the added complicated CHDs of the following:</u></span><span style="color: navy; font-family: "Franklin Gothic Book","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></h4>
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<span style="color: navy; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.3999996185303px;">5</span><span style="color: navy; font-family: "Franklin Gothic Book","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">. </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-family: "Franklin Gothic Book","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Pulmonary
Atresia: </span><span style="color: navy; font-family: "Franklin Gothic Book","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.3999996185303px;">Pulmonary Atresia</span><span style="color: navy; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.3999996185303px;"> is where the pulmonary valve that comes up from the Left Ventricle to go out to the lungs is either not working, closed off or not even there at all… as in Jessica’s case. Jessica wasn’t even both with the piece of Pulmonary Artery that hooks up to the heart; in other words, Jessica had no direct connection between her heart and lungs. The huge VSD is what saved her life.</span></span></h4>
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<span style="color: navy; font-family: "Franklin Gothic Book","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">6. </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-family: "Franklin Gothic Book","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Pulmonary
Branch Stenosis: </span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.3999996185303px;">Pulmonary Branch Stenosis</span><span style="color: navy; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.3999996185303px;"> is where the pulmonary artery branches (where the artery divides into “branches” to take blood out to the lungs) are all very narrow.</span></span></h4>
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<span style="color: navy; font-family: "Franklin Gothic Book","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">7. </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-family: "Franklin Gothic Book","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Nonconfluent
Pulmonary Artery Branches: </span><span style="color: navy; font-family: "Franklin Gothic Book","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.3999996185303px;">Nonconfluent Pulmonary Artery Branches </span><span style="color: #3a368a; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.3999996185303px;">means that the pulmonary artery branches don’t branch out to all parts of the lungs. Jessica's only reached to 1/3 of each lung. </span></span></h4>
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<span style="color: navy; font-family: "Franklin Gothic Book","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">8. </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-family: "Franklin Gothic Book","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">MAPCAS:
Major Aortopulmonany Collateral Artery: </span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.3999996185303px;">MAPCAS: Major Aortopulmonany Collateral Artery(s) </span><span style="color: #3a368a; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.3999996185303px;">is where there are small blood vessels that come off the Aorta and take blood to the lungs that way. The problem with these blood vessels (often just referred to as collaterals) is that they are taking blood that has the oxygenated & unoxygenated blood mixed together. </span></span></h4>
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<b><span style="font-family: Gungsuh, serif; font-size: 12pt;">To let you know how rare Jessica's combination of heart
defects of just the two: Pulmonary Atresia and VSD are, </span></b><b><span style="background: white; color: #373e4d; font-family: "Gungsuh","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Narkisim;">In
a 2012 study using data from birth defects tracking systems across the United
States, researchers estimated that about 1 out of every 10,000 babies is born
with pulmonary atresia whereas 1 in every 100 babies are born with CHD.</span></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I
edited the image below to point out Jessica’s CHD. <span style="font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixsq5mWH-gYHEE9haiDQqgeXh-4q9HusmZDOFAiz2cO4E0uwMQXsE5XUtNxJpeQ_KaavaMCYe9EfaY5WxJb2UPMgFkTtEOmGXxJo5hA0vWyHhEW-Gh6H92lSQWe__Y85ufpS-hEQ/s1600/Jessica+ToF.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="293" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixsq5mWH-gYHEE9haiDQqgeXh-4q9HusmZDOFAiz2cO4E0uwMQXsE5XUtNxJpeQ_KaavaMCYe9EfaY5WxJb2UPMgFkTtEOmGXxJo5hA0vWyHhEW-Gh6H92lSQWe__Y85ufpS-hEQ/s320/Jessica+ToF.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #3a368a; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18.3999996185303px; text-align: center;">Here is the original image which includes a normal working heart, Pulmonary Atresia with Tetralogy of Fallot (lower left) and MAPCAs (lower right). </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYul5ovDHNbGVwp5K49AGk-2-A_VVMMgY-ystyM8WDZxmLh4rzEdTCGW-duf0pKiCfr3QtGyoO1SIcE5ci3UNwLTKDJrPLeYLeL3Au_9OGRaq671gIcP2OsqQZRpZxPrjWZ-sxFQ/s1600/pulmonary+atresia+with+ToF+%2526+normal+heart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYul5ovDHNbGVwp5K49AGk-2-A_VVMMgY-ystyM8WDZxmLh4rzEdTCGW-duf0pKiCfr3QtGyoO1SIcE5ci3UNwLTKDJrPLeYLeL3Au_9OGRaq671gIcP2OsqQZRpZxPrjWZ-sxFQ/s400/pulmonary+atresia+with+ToF+%2526+normal+heart.jpg" width="339" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #3a368a; font-family: "Franklin Gothic Book","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;"><v:shape id="Picture_x0020_5" o:spid="_x0000_i1025" style="height: 430.5pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 365.25pt;" type="#_x0000_t75">
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</v:imagedata></v:shape></span><span style="color: #3a368a; font-family: "Franklin Gothic Book","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="border-image-outset: initial; border-image-repeat: initial; border-image-slice: initial; border-image-source: initial; border-image-width: initial; border: 1pt none windowtext; color: #677277; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; padding: 0in;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">I gave my friend Amanda the
link to </span><a href="http://fancydancy.blogspot.com/2007/05/five.html" target="_blank">Jessica’s 5 </a><a href="http://fancydancy.blogspot.com/2007/05/five.html" target="_blank">heart surgeries</a><span style="font-weight: normal;"> but Jessica had quite a few other surgeries
as well. She had to have her extra 2
fingers and 1 toe removed; she had numerous cut-downs on her arteries when they
were doing cardiac caths, she was kicked by a horse in 2008 and developed a
massive hematoma which had to be operated on.
That left a huge gaping hole which had to be packed every day. This took an extra amount of time to heal
because Jessica’s body didn’t get enough oxygen to the cells for it to heal
quickly. Jessica endured 2 strokes
during her first 2 surgeries. That
information is included in the link I sent you about her 5 heart surgeries. Here’s that link again: </span></span><a href="http://fancydancy.blogspot.com/2007/05/five.html" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt; padding: 0in;">http://fancydancy.blogspot.com/2007/05/five.html</span></a><span style="border-image-outset: initial; border-image-repeat: initial; border-image-slice: initial; border-image-source: initial; border-image-width: initial; border: 1pt none windowtext; color: #677277; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; padding: 0in;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; color: #677277; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; padding: 0in;">Jessica spent a
good part of the first few years of her life at the hospital, doctor’s
appointment, labs, going to OT, PT & Speech therapies, etc. Most babies and young children learn as they
do things. Jessica’s heart was so
enlarged and the function was so poor that she could barely sustain life at
first, much less have the energy to do things.
On top of that she spent several months recovering from major surgeries
which most children don’t have to do.
Jessica’s body was weak so even with the different therapies she wasn’t
able to reach milestones at the same time as the healthy children her age. She sat
up on her own when she was one year old and she walked at age 2. <br />
<br />
Over the years her body got stronger… for a little while anyway. She was able to learn but at her pace. She seemed to stay on a learning curve
similar to her peers except that it was lower than theirs… both physically and
academically. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; color: #677277; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; padding: 0in;">We participated
in a genetics study in 1989 and it turned out that Jessica had DiGeorge
Syndrome. This syndrome can cause many
different learning delays as well as medical issues including CHD. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; color: #677277; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; padding: 0in;">Over the years
it seemed that Jessica had leveled off at the age level of a 7 – 8 year old. For many years she seemed to be stuck in her
routines, activities she liked to do and learning new things became harder for
her. Towards the end of her life she
started regressing to an even younger state especially emotionally. Her anxieties got out of control especially
at night. She started crying more easily
and getting her feelings hurt more easily too.
Her pain was way up so I’m sure that had a lot to do with it but she
knew that she could die and that scared her too. </span></div>
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<span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; color: #677277; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; padding: 0in;">On top of that in 2004 Jessica was placed
into a home hospice because she was having lung bleeds. Those MAPCAs (collaterals that come off the
aorta and out to the lungs) were bursting and bleeding into her lungs and any
one of them could have been fatal. The
hospice nurse came with me to an appointment with the pulmonologist and she
(the nurse) recommended that we try morphine therapy to relax the lungs and it
worked! Jessica was kicked off of
hospice because her lung bleeds had stopped.
Jessica had soooo much anxiety during that time… as she was coughing up blood
she would cry out, “I’m not ready to die!” as she choked on the blood. It took me awhile to help her calm down when
it was over and then I would have to go and find my youngers sons because
they were scared and were trying to comfort each other.
It was very upsetting to our whole family and went on for months where she would cough up blood daily, sometimes several times a day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; color: #677277; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; padding: 0in;">Jessica also had
ischemia of the bowels which was where the blood vessels going to the gut were
very narrow much like her pulmonary artery.
She also didn’t have enough oxygen in the blood that actually got to her
gut so over many years her bowels were dying and becoming necrotic. It was a slow, painful death. It was very hard on all of us to watch her
suffer through so much. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; color: #677277; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; padding: 0in;">Jessica wasn’t
ever able to get enough oxygen in her blood which made her look blue or even
dark purple. Of course that meant that
her brain never received enough oxygen either.
Even when wearing oxygen much of Jessica’s blood wasn’t able to reach
the lungs to pick up that oxygen. The
oxygen served as a relaxing agent on the pulmonary arteries to help them open
up a little big to make her more comfortable.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #677277; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt; padding: 0in;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">We will probably
never know the exact reason why Jessica remained as a little girl, only able to
understand things at a 7 year old level.
She had several individual things that could have caused it such as
delays from being sick, strokes which affected 5 areas of her brain and lack of
oxygen to her brain… all I know is that she was perfect just the way God
intended for her to be. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Note: this is only a portion of the blog post. Please visit the blog to see the rest of the post. Thank you!</div>Nancy Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00394280332224329165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31530188.post-30558439259897643442015-08-10T08:41:00.001-07:002015-08-10T08:42:43.081-07:00My Son's Mission and His Testimony<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
My son, Brandon, served a full-time 2-year mission for our church, <a href="http://lds.org/" target="_blank">The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints</a>, in the Oregon, Salem mission. Brandon worked hard and saved up money after he graduated from high school so that he could serve this mission. Yesterday he shared his testimony and how he gained it on Facebook and he gave me permission to share it as well. <br />
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<span style="color: #0b5394;"><b>"You will often hear me say that I love Oregon, that I would go back as soon as I can if I had the chance. What you don't know, is that I died in Oregon.<br />You see, before I left, I was an uncertain, selfish, lazy, prideful son of a gun. I knew not my Savior, and I definitely did not know his gospel. I was a punk kid who would angrily argue with anyone who I did not see eye-to-eye with.<br />Then, something fantastic happened. I was transferred from beautiful Prineville Oregon over to the meth capital of the Northwest, Lebanon Oregon. I was stuck with a missionary who was even more of a selfish jerk than i was, and we had nobody for us to teach. We fought often and I was never happy. One day, after a particularly hard week, we had our quarterly interviews with our Mission President.<br />President Samuelian, albeit short in stature, was a giant of a man. He knew his Savior, he spoke with power and authority, and he loved his missionaries dearly. The first 5 minutes of our interview, I proceeded to complain about my situation, about how I hated my companion, how I hated my area, and how I didn't understand why he put me in this situation. Then, in a way that I would become all too familiar with, President Samuelian got quiet. He was listening to the Spirit to know what he needed to say to help me.<br />"Elder Jensen," he began, "are you done?"<br />"Yeah, actually, I think so," in a matter-of-fact sort of way, I answered.<br />"Okay," leaning forward so he could look me right in the eye, "let me tell you something..... It's not, about, YOU."<br />I was stunned, confused, and unsure of what would happen next. President Samuelian proceeded to tell me how selfish I was, about how I didn't have the love for others that I needed, and that I would never be happy like this. His voice struck me to my very core, I knew what he was saying was true.<br />There were tears. There was weeping. Mostly (actually, entirely) coming from me. He proceeded to teach me that I needed to change, or that I would never have a successful mission.<br />I began to die at that point. A long process where my heart and soul would suffer more pain than I had ever thought possible. I had many companions out there, each one slowly killing me until, eventually, I perished.<br />I was also born in Oregon. There, though the love and sacrifice of The Lord Jesus Christ, I was able to take upon myself his name and be able to wear it upon my chest proudly. I learned of him, and I acquired the attributes I needed to become a true follower of his Gospel. The one true Gospel. Selfishness, Pride, and uncertainty gave way to Love, Humility, and Confidence. I was reborn. The process is not complete, by any standards, but I know that I am on the right path.<br />I died in Oregon. I was also born there too.<br />I encourage you all to come to know Jesus Christ and to be reborn. He is the only way to peace and lasting happiness. The only way to salvation. His arms are outstretched towards you, all you need to do is to reach for him.<br />Ask and ye shall receive, knock it shall be opened unto you."</b></span></div>
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<span id="goog_108961488"></span><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: small; line-height: normal; text-align: left;">Here's a few photos from his mission.</span><br />
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Note: this is only a portion of the blog post. Please visit the blog to see the rest of the post. Thank you!</div>Nancy Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00394280332224329165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31530188.post-57330022623812676512015-08-08T09:50:00.000-07:002015-08-08T09:50:46.278-07:00Poem for Jessica by Mandy Taylor<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Poem for Jessica</h2>
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By Mandy Taylor (Posted on FaceBook on <a class="uiLinkSubtle" href="https://www.facebook.com/notes/mandy-holmes-taylor/poem-for-jessica/454637872462" style="color: #9197a3; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">August 8, 2010 at 5:00pm</a><span class="timelineUnitContainer"><a aria-label="Mandy's friends" class="passiveImg fbAudienceHover timelineAudienceSelector" data-hover="tooltip" href="https://www.facebook.com/notes/mandy-holmes-taylor/poem-for-jessica/454637872462?notif_t=like_tagged#" role="button" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; margin-left: 5px; margin-top: -3px; position: relative; text-decoration: none; top: 2px;"><i class="img sp_24r1vfKJNXi sx_b10a2b" style="background-image: url(https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/rsrc.php/v2/yx/r/lmlR2hE1nJp.png); background-position: -14px -14px; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-size: 28px 148px; display: inline-block; height: 12px; width: 12px;"></i></a>)</span></div>
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For those of you who don't know, I love poetry. I don't write or read it anymore as often as I should.<br />
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This particular piece came to me a few years ago in a dream and wouldn't let me rest until I had written it down. I sent it to Nancy shortly after I wrote it and she asked me to find a copy now. I thought I'd share it with everyone, too. Feel free to re-post or direct others here if you desire.<br />
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<i>Always the Princess<br /><br />My family began with my parents' first son<br />And continued because they couldn't have just one!<br />Mama hoped next for a beautiful girl<br />With celestial eyes and hair she could curl.<br /><br />So I came, then, in answer to prayer,<br />Her very own princess, though bound to a chair.<br />Mom and I play, giggle, and talk<br />Of all things to come when with angels I'll walk.<br /><br />"Heaven is perfect, my princess," Mom says<br />As she irons and smooths my favorite dress.<br />"There you'll never be lonely or gasping for breath.<br />You'll have more family to love even after your death."<br /><br />"I like it here, Mama," I say with a tear.<br />"I'll miss you and Papa. I'll only know fear."<br />She says, "Hush, now, princess. You've been there before.<br />God loves you, as I do, and has blessings in store.<br /><br />Let Him now enfold you as you fall asleep.<br />I pray every day your soul He will keep.<br />Fear not if tomorrow in His presence you wake.<br />It is one step in a journey we all someday take.<br /><br />I and Papa will follow when God for us calls.<br />We'll find you and hug you in His glorious halls.<br />If He calls you and offers His heavenly rest,<br />Go, my sweet princess. He knows what is best."<br /><br />"Our family--begun with your very first son--<br />Is forever! Forever!" Mom smiles, "Yes, the victory's won.<br />I love you, sweet princess, do not needlessly stay.<br />We will see you in heaven, in God's glory, one day."</i><br />
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Note: this is only a portion of the blog post. Please visit the blog to see the rest of the post. Thank you!</div>Nancy Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00394280332224329165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31530188.post-60078808010508759072015-05-28T09:00:00.000-07:002015-05-28T13:14:10.830-07:00Jessica's Disney Princess on Ice Adventure<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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*This post was originally published on 1-12-2008 which was almost 3 years before Miss Jess passed away. I found a video that I wanted to add to this post so it's there now. I hope you enjoy these photos and memories. They sure bring me comfort and joy.*</center>
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Here are some pictures of Jessica's adventure to "<a href="http://disney.go.com/disneyonice/princesswishes/index.html" style="color: #3333ff; font-weight: bold;">Disney's Princess On Ice</a>" show that we went to in October. (I know, I'm extremely behind on posting pictures so in the next few weeks I'm going to be my attempt to catch up and post more photos!)<br /><br />Our local <a href="http://www.tunidito.org/" style="color: #3333ff; font-weight: bold;">Tu Nidito</a><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span>support group and the ice show planned a little surprise for the girls to meet Belle and Cinderella at the <a href="http://www.zmansion.com/" style="color: #3333ff; font-weight: bold;">Z-mansion</a> before the show. They also gave us 4 free tickets to see the show so Karl and Austin went with Jess and me.<br /><br />(As always, click on any photo to see a larger image.)<br /><br />Here is Princess Jess all dressed up and ready to go to meet the Disney princesses!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivRBX11gC7GBpn4ClXGFT7SV6r22t1Nygrdq6IunoqjUM3wXKrzUQrXhjjHEdafjubIoD3xNqAW9SsUddjk_OXHUbwLciuEt0XC5rYVP7cxD55kb_rUIn9HUM9QMBbe9xgTViHFg/s1600-h/100_2952(rev+1%29.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5154529993392462226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivRBX11gC7GBpn4ClXGFT7SV6r22t1Nygrdq6IunoqjUM3wXKrzUQrXhjjHEdafjubIoD3xNqAW9SsUddjk_OXHUbwLciuEt0XC5rYVP7cxD55kb_rUIn9HUM9QMBbe9xgTViHFg/s400/100_2952(rev+1).jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a><br />Miss Jess in the courtyard of the Z-mansion waiting for the princesses to get there.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyW_cR84uazauo0wD0oaongi66hqPfVgJ84th1k7rlS9Y5IaP5XNh8pk5pR0JKpM7FaCzunpQCYqXaX_3dM3_sJEhPr8AT4P7NRqyRlL3J6vMxY7RZknRUCx8yD6NUytJosZcAPg/s1600-h/100_2960(rev+1%29.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5154529997687429538" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyW_cR84uazauo0wD0oaongi66hqPfVgJ84th1k7rlS9Y5IaP5XNh8pk5pR0JKpM7FaCzunpQCYqXaX_3dM3_sJEhPr8AT4P7NRqyRlL3J6vMxY7RZknRUCx8yD6NUytJosZcAPg/s400/100_2960(rev+1).jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a><br />Jess and Mom<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggWzNKAnvdY9GYuRxKmE4V7sPQL0cqs0W6UORxyLhDm6HKlQNXLKPyonEpAmm5ziSL7jWSZ6Y9VFVB9ITqGiK2vUTiK_-UVMH3mnbtHUiBaUZRyQJbIQZfldnt6Wg_adotV904mA/s1600-h/100_2968(rev+2%29.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5154530001982396850" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggWzNKAnvdY9GYuRxKmE4V7sPQL0cqs0W6UORxyLhDm6HKlQNXLKPyonEpAmm5ziSL7jWSZ6Y9VFVB9ITqGiK2vUTiK_-UVMH3mnbtHUiBaUZRyQJbIQZfldnt6Wg_adotV904mA/s400/100_2968(rev+2).jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a><br />Jessica made necklaces for the princesses and I helped her wrap them up. Here's a little video of her giving the princesses their gifts. The princesses were very surprised that someone was so thoughtful to make and give them gifts.</center>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dyBnsTdg1jwn55dH_SdOq2aKE-jvDSD7_d3hkthpwV9lk9lv7os0GFXcEZn_KLMaN60hBeJZyZKfFg' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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Princess Jess with Cinderella and Belle<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyatlv3L8O99auYifdv8z_a5dGb8tj8thJNsvKuXGdpbicfFRvWoSQPAwVJJqokhwZ3m9-b8pccyHOgnMVCiRIFN5l4ZjR9-v2S3S3VhwYiWo731XEFA308swneiWR-TkfgeWhZg/s1600-h/100_2986(rev+1%29.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5154530006277364162" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyatlv3L8O99auYifdv8z_a5dGb8tj8thJNsvKuXGdpbicfFRvWoSQPAwVJJqokhwZ3m9-b8pccyHOgnMVCiRIFN5l4ZjR9-v2S3S3VhwYiWo731XEFA308swneiWR-TkfgeWhZg/s400/100_2986(rev+1).jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a><br />Cinderella and Belle wrote little thank you notes to Jessica which really made Jessica's day. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilLGX4YZOa3S75i3KK32Vp4zJk1hfF60Iwf8Q47ixUfd8Qhq5Z-QjLzRL5-3FmpyHGKycDSl__AW7fAbohX8Ncu2JyBRFPJYxmslsqGpYtB8lDpAP6_m2dlSbStiUR5xVa88_fHg/s1600-h/100_3005(rev+2%29.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5154530006277364178" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilLGX4YZOa3S75i3KK32Vp4zJk1hfF60Iwf8Q47ixUfd8Qhq5Z-QjLzRL5-3FmpyHGKycDSl__AW7fAbohX8Ncu2JyBRFPJYxmslsqGpYtB8lDpAP6_m2dlSbStiUR5xVa88_fHg/s400/100_3005(rev+2).jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a>Here are the autographs. One of the assistants to the Disney princesses took Jessica's notebook to get the autographs. There were too many girls and not enough time for they all to get autographs.... so the assistant sneaked the notebook to the princesses after they left the courtyard. Wasn't that nice?!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi666c6xKYuPzIV4jpgg4xsEi_-e2IPkHeDykYlAzcZ7L0zjEIj4YKo8R9wwx_9yaulDYKqyTXDAsMx1IaTA_KHX-OM81bgWS0tRdlB2VcSflVPKv-LzArdFtZbvOvXxkCqrHrfiQ/s1600-h/100_3006(rev+3%29.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5154530594687883746" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi666c6xKYuPzIV4jpgg4xsEi_-e2IPkHeDykYlAzcZ7L0zjEIj4YKo8R9wwx_9yaulDYKqyTXDAsMx1IaTA_KHX-OM81bgWS0tRdlB2VcSflVPKv-LzArdFtZbvOvXxkCqrHrfiQ/s400/100_3006(rev+3).jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a>Now it's time for the show! These are some photos that I took with my own camera. Since Jessica is in a wheelchair, we were at the very top of the seating area. Fortunately we were right in the center so we still had a great view. My camera also has a zoom function so I was able to get a bunch of great photos of the show. I'm only putting up a fraction of those photos here. [I can hear you all sighing with relief!]<br /><br /><br />Aladdin and Jasmine<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpzpZovQ0CLFUbLSqhQQULy4JPty19i8UUM7gvoehOGO6AeOCecqnR74YcXOdow4tWCf1PD7Wx-_tpd8fTeAp-_aRuKkRBCBg_hJ4rAkK6JfdTbhUZMi1H5Q8cfZ91gfBY9rNFRg/s1600-h/100_3024(rev+3%29.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5154544420187609586" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpzpZovQ0CLFUbLSqhQQULy4JPty19i8UUM7gvoehOGO6AeOCecqnR74YcXOdow4tWCf1PD7Wx-_tpd8fTeAp-_aRuKkRBCBg_hJ4rAkK6JfdTbhUZMi1H5Q8cfZ91gfBY9rNFRg/s400/100_3024(rev+3).jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a><br />Aladdin carrying Jasmine as they whirl around the ice rink!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl42zqjpujRINrqiIwklCRkciqq0AR33Ab9tY_TCcOxQ3IXU8_h45pebAeiHcawDWKbJgPWw8Cecjkj-VxgCvGZuFiXJckehxPTQ7emTf6rGPUqD8jMcoIDnDzNL3lv0qvBq-mpQ/s1600-h/100_3029(rev+2%29.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5154544428777544226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl42zqjpujRINrqiIwklCRkciqq0AR33Ab9tY_TCcOxQ3IXU8_h45pebAeiHcawDWKbJgPWw8Cecjkj-VxgCvGZuFiXJckehxPTQ7emTf6rGPUqD8jMcoIDnDzNL3lv0qvBq-mpQ/s400/100_3029(rev+2).jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a><br />Wow... look at them skate!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGvcenjiNpA65TFTksP_z5A0w1ByCAQw_3yaADwfQcD62wmVCcEQTIRGl8px_RXe9aQoCVnXeLBao0QiEqxn3ogefvg_qA8fzo1vgyUE1UNuLjM-rOkGwXJyYkjE3pSMPNASkgnA/s1600-h/100_3032(rev+2%29.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5154544433072511538" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGvcenjiNpA65TFTksP_z5A0w1ByCAQw_3yaADwfQcD62wmVCcEQTIRGl8px_RXe9aQoCVnXeLBao0QiEqxn3ogefvg_qA8fzo1vgyUE1UNuLjM-rOkGwXJyYkjE3pSMPNASkgnA/s400/100_3032(rev+2).jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a><br />This is Ariel's story now. She is in the center of the photo. Click on it to enlarge and see if you can find her.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi22Viijy1hAKXlmDkbSS53XCm2bPowTxT0K_VrPmGLlxd50qPihTduBVLiriCFfYU53M8GVVSKubO3g8yi-F1T1WBIRcpAwMsNvfhMwKVZqUzboMXq2rkq7Vg1G1Yp5dvhrX-N1A/s1600-h/100_3043(rev+2%29.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5154544424482576898" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi22Viijy1hAKXlmDkbSS53XCm2bPowTxT0K_VrPmGLlxd50qPihTduBVLiriCFfYU53M8GVVSKubO3g8yi-F1T1WBIRcpAwMsNvfhMwKVZqUzboMXq2rkq7Vg1G1Yp5dvhrX-N1A/s400/100_3043(rev+2).jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a><br />Ariel and Flounder<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCWYu6hXY34-Y49LQeRcOIMmOsZ2fyNUHAPHkBsnPXRk2dqbt2DmxbnGy-SxWneKhBYsSJqanlwZCw9BQV3a6AcZjNR8TbJK2g-KRe-aMF74L41GFysB6WBO9B2oOz-zNKXVXJfw/s1600-h/100_3049(rev+2%29.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5154544428777544210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCWYu6hXY34-Y49LQeRcOIMmOsZ2fyNUHAPHkBsnPXRk2dqbt2DmxbnGy-SxWneKhBYsSJqanlwZCw9BQV3a6AcZjNR8TbJK2g-KRe-aMF74L41GFysB6WBO9B2oOz-zNKXVXJfw/s400/100_3049(rev+2).jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a><br />Intermission fun with Austin and Jess: Daddy bought Princess Jess the Ariel wand. Yes, it lights up and even sings too!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwwqg2cJXZdKgaP8271iV9NbyBwysBVQ0NPUCXtihot9SUnvupdOc2a3vV9CGXjHTE_JiJIjthcwfBbsiHlVdF_3C2jpAfoPKJZXTgzTPMMN5qyq8JlunIU4EZ0v6-dLrCU-XtCw/s1600-h/100_3073(rev+2%29.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5154545330720676466" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwwqg2cJXZdKgaP8271iV9NbyBwysBVQ0NPUCXtihot9SUnvupdOc2a3vV9CGXjHTE_JiJIjthcwfBbsiHlVdF_3C2jpAfoPKJZXTgzTPMMN5qyq8JlunIU4EZ0v6-dLrCU-XtCw/s400/100_3073(rev+2).jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a><br />Cinderella all ready to go to the ball<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCw-SdNzGQxzPq7MHKvyMoVONdfCY3DfmVgfwWfd2_r6W4laaw_nEvzy4BgsqDIB0ppHIbZLKVf1Rh4OKkpP7jg-KuXAlwca6i3_4mcv2zBmqUXJJr9YA7QuQvIabEECLWiTHR2g/s1600-h/100_3161(rev+2%29.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5154545330720676434" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCw-SdNzGQxzPq7MHKvyMoVONdfCY3DfmVgfwWfd2_r6W4laaw_nEvzy4BgsqDIB0ppHIbZLKVf1Rh4OKkpP7jg-KuXAlwca6i3_4mcv2zBmqUXJJr9YA7QuQvIabEECLWiTHR2g/s400/100_3161(rev+2).jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a><br />Prince Charming asks for this dance<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnyWp6bC2MJIllBw3WAQWO2iwpEcnPmWAQzG1flULiri9h8s15lWXZmD9WTDTtJrATaISuIiyAfgATEq9aKKhtjEAo5rMKBwdL30bmLV6Go6yn-3HDEFjLwefRsBsX-2wdwDrgtQ/s1600-h/100_3163(rev+2%29.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5154549591328234114" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnyWp6bC2MJIllBw3WAQWO2iwpEcnPmWAQzG1flULiri9h8s15lWXZmD9WTDTtJrATaISuIiyAfgATEq9aKKhtjEAo5rMKBwdL30bmLV6Go6yn-3HDEFjLwefRsBsX-2wdwDrgtQ/s400/100_3163(rev+2).jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a><br />Getting ready for a big jump - too bad I missed the jump! LOL<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjMTc_1lZmSz3b-nb4WVufIS-0hQjU19KRHMKfd5cwzGXMwLlHVecCEIOJYuTSXA0oW1fXtQZFB51EhyZQkRqohnoFpYu7IdfG0tYVz7Y5S-J36EPpjOXB8mydqZC0yF08VMMUZQ/s1600-h/100_3166(rev+2%29.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5154553070251743906" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjMTc_1lZmSz3b-nb4WVufIS-0hQjU19KRHMKfd5cwzGXMwLlHVecCEIOJYuTSXA0oW1fXtQZFB51EhyZQkRqohnoFpYu7IdfG0tYVz7Y5S-J36EPpjOXB8mydqZC0yF08VMMUZQ/s400/100_3166(rev+2).jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a><br />This time Tinkerbell is in the ball and it shoots out sparklers!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBGGtaJcgfMIGPdgS3yExR8EXhcoPsT8JimtFetdSrwiPGjG-QE13Td0Tmt6c3F11TYXsOJRgbk5LmYi9Kwc4W0826G2RcuUBIW-T_qwQj377IaWLjRq11Z409CdJ-xb1ueAmDJw/s1600-h/100_3190(rev+2%29.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5154545326425709122" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBGGtaJcgfMIGPdgS3yExR8EXhcoPsT8JimtFetdSrwiPGjG-QE13Td0Tmt6c3F11TYXsOJRgbk5LmYi9Kwc4W0826G2RcuUBIW-T_qwQj377IaWLjRq11Z409CdJ-xb1ueAmDJw/s400/100_3190(rev+2).jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a><br />The finale: All the princes and princesses skate beautifully!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh2jlCV8-L7AJdYIIWR3NfQ50swxCEtlGk1EMBAR2m3tr6naZlSq12WLkWeQaLWOHxqtksEpxlTWVAfVi-5ucLaVs1H-dwsBlvTvBwSRqwGhtj3aQy396k6S38QA_eHk-6iqc0Xw/s1600-h/100_3176(rev+2%29.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5154549591328234130" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh2jlCV8-L7AJdYIIWR3NfQ50swxCEtlGk1EMBAR2m3tr6naZlSq12WLkWeQaLWOHxqtksEpxlTWVAfVi-5ucLaVs1H-dwsBlvTvBwSRqwGhtj3aQy396k6S38QA_eHk-6iqc0Xw/s400/100_3176(rev+2).jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a><br />I am so glad that we had the opportunity to go to this show. Jessica really enjoyed it and still talks about it. It was nice that Austin wanted to go to spend time with his sister. Justen and Brandon didn't really care to go but we would have had to purchase their tickets (which we would have done) but they wouldn't have been able to sit with us so they stayed at home. I am so psyched that I got so many great pictures! I had better work on scrapbooking them!<br /></center>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Note: this is only a portion of the blog post. Please visit the blog to see the rest of the post. Thank you!</div>Nancy Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00394280332224329165noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31530188.post-57421724013822643892015-02-25T09:26:00.001-07:002015-02-25T09:28:45.826-07:00Saying Goodbye ~ but only for a time<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;">Continuing with CHD Awareness I am posting a photo from a very difficult time in our lives. I haven't shared it with anyone until now. This was something that I knew was going to happen from the time </span><a class="profileLink" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=100004593186643" href="https://www.facebook.com/angel.jess.165" style="background-color: white; color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px; text-decoration: none;">Angel Jess</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;"> was only 6 years old but since she kept pulling through each and every major illness, heart issues, GI issues and even lung bleeds it seemed almost impossible that my worst nightmare would actually come true. Sadly, this is what CHD looks like for far too many families.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_2sQNI3pJD-soHdljUaXqw8HImoJ-YnYqMlr0auEtgx8_ktJcxU_3YAfleKVYmEf1NWoL-6FZN_2n2M1iVGTBEwtxHN2_AsY4mqne376UOOTpkU1Mf2JQEUDRnB3s0-huholmGw/s1600/Saying+goodbye.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_2sQNI3pJD-soHdljUaXqw8HImoJ-YnYqMlr0auEtgx8_ktJcxU_3YAfleKVYmEf1NWoL-6FZN_2n2M1iVGTBEwtxHN2_AsY4mqne376UOOTpkU1Mf2JQEUDRnB3s0-huholmGw/s1600/Saying+goodbye.jpg" height="425" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;">It was hard for me to share this tender moment of Karl and I saying goodbye to our beautiful daughter. We carefully chose her pink casket with the light pink lining. We were given a beautiful tiara for her to wear and a friend sent her a heart pillow with roses on it to place in her hands. We didn't get a photo of that pillow which made me sad but things happened so fast. It arrived late and someone brought it in to us right before the services started. It's ok, we truly appreciate the beautiful gift.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;">One day in July of 2010, out of the blue Jessica started talking about her cousin Marcus who had passed away in 2008. She suddenly changed the subject towards herself and that she wanted to be buried in a white dress with pink flowers on it. We had no idea that she would need it in just a few months! When it became evident that she did not have much time left, m</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.8500003814697px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">y sister Karen sent us this beautiful white dress and I hand-sewed the pink flowers onto it. The dress is spread out on top of a Harry Potter quilt that one of Jessica's teachers (Barb) made for her. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7eaQN5wsvzwlQiyxitBhv4o93Y-4gyl4QzBbIZMpoA0uCGgl3UxuW26g8hVyyDLngfzEn79IEXNTxRReX-K_bUvUJjLM2j9B5iGszTw_ffZyfm1nDwEfVquP-S_kuevdIB0eTyA/s1600/101_9251.jpg" style="color: #6699cc; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7eaQN5wsvzwlQiyxitBhv4o93Y-4gyl4QzBbIZMpoA0uCGgl3UxuW26g8hVyyDLngfzEn79IEXNTxRReX-K_bUvUJjLM2j9B5iGszTw_ffZyfm1nDwEfVquP-S_kuevdIB0eTyA/s640/101_9251.jpg" height="640" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528523732166189650" style="border: none; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; position: relative; text-align: center;" width="516" /></a></div>
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Here's a close up of the little pink roses and lace.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ_aak2nI1vqiS6zbdbfeHE2hp_aeE3KuhVWAEJzqIo8QD-FKRdpz3ri4R9B_Wek_qki5YN2Ns-Hy3axqFT_C1YjjF2fl3NaVPFTM56SgO627C6z4Fi16KXbFKDY5e0Vy7wUvC4w/s1600/101_9249.jpg" style="background-color: white; color: #6699cc; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.8500003814697px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;"></a><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ_aak2nI1vqiS6zbdbfeHE2hp_aeE3KuhVWAEJzqIo8QD-FKRdpz3ri4R9B_Wek_qki5YN2Ns-Hy3axqFT_C1YjjF2fl3NaVPFTM56SgO627C6z4Fi16KXbFKDY5e0Vy7wUvC4w/s640/101_9249.jpg" height="480" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528523738389591122" style="border: none; color: #6699cc; display: block; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.8500003814697px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px; margin: 0px auto 10px; position: relative;" width="640" /></div>
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One of Jessica's e-pals, Matt (also a CHD survivor), sent her this little angel many years ago. I pinned it onto the dress as a symbol of his love. </div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;">I posted more photos of the flowers that we received in this post <a href="http://fancydancy.blogspot.com/2012/09/photos-jessicas-dress-and-flowers.html" target="_blank">HERE</a>. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;">My husband Karl and I have been married almost 30 years (in April!). We were married in the </span><a href="https://www.lds.org/church/temples/mesa-arizona?lang=eng" style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;" target="_blank">Mesa Arizona Temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;">. We believe in being sealed together forever in these temples where there are no "until death do we part". Our children are sealed to us forever as well. If you look to the left of my husband's shoulder you can see a photo of that very same temple hanging on the wall. We did not put that photo there. It was already on the wall. How amazing it is to look at this photo and to see that reminder that Jessica will remain our daughter for all eternity! </span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;">Our </span></span><a href="https://www.lds.org/church/temples/mesa-arizona?lang=eng" style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;" target="_blank">Mesa Arizona Temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints</a> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;">also has a <a href="https://www.lds.org/locations/mesa-arizona-temple-visitors-center" target="_blank">Visitor's Center </a>where the public can go and learn about our beliefs. If you don't live close enough to go there and would like to know more then please visit <a href="http://lds.org/">LDS.ORG</a> . There's a lot of good stuff on there! </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;">There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about my beautiful Angel Jessica Marie. I miss her so very much but I am soooo thankful that she will never again suffer the pain and trauma that she endured in this life. She was so beautiful in this dress and I envision her dancing, singing and chasing butterflies in heaven, free of all the diseases that plagued her body. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;"><br /></span></div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Note: this is only a portion of the blog post. Please visit the blog to see the rest of the post. Thank you!</div>Nancy Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00394280332224329165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31530188.post-14865841402142049182015-02-17T20:11:00.001-07:002015-02-17T20:11:09.284-07:00February is CHD Awareness Month ~ Heart Surgeries<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.8500003814697px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">Jessica following her 2nd heart surgery age 3</span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif;">This photo was taken after Jessica's 2nd heart surgery. My 5
year old son was scared to go into the PICU to see her and the only reason they
allowed him in was because he was going to stay with my parents </span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif;">and I didn't want to send him away without him
even seeing his sister and knowing that she hadn't died. A nurse took this
picture to show him before he entered the PICU so that he wouldn't be quite so
scared. We brought Jessica's doll and stuffed animal and placed them around and
on top of her so that he wouldn't be afraid of her incision and the tubes and
wires on her chest. {Too bad we didn't know back then that he had Aspergers
(autism spectrum) back then and that's why he would freak out so much when he
saw his little sister with tubes and wires, etc.} This was the surgery from
when she hemorrhaged, had a massive stroke, was blind and paralyzed for a while
and had a blood infection. At the time of this photo Jessica had barely
regained enough eyesight to focus on something for a few seconds and then her
eyes would drift up to the right. She couldn't control where they were looking
and we didn't know how much she could see because when she could key in on
something sometimes she would cry out as if she was afraid of whatever it was
she was looking at. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.8500003814697px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">Jessica following her 5th heart surgery - age 7</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.8500003814697px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">Jessica posing with Dr. Donnerstein and Dr. Goldberg</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp-CW9jWHs0P1gvq2NBcPSMyG8zUigVPil2oH6bVmd63QJxT96IMTFJCejl3hvPsa4_q4Y7Gg0MV7n4oeVYCdP6fTW3WagACQNNCbiLHZBYofIl_D-hKrpu0HQ61_B7ItJh4wJKQ/s1600/Jess_heart_surgery_5-9612(rev%2B0).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp-CW9jWHs0P1gvq2NBcPSMyG8zUigVPil2oH6bVmd63QJxT96IMTFJCejl3hvPsa4_q4Y7Gg0MV7n4oeVYCdP6fTW3WagACQNNCbiLHZBYofIl_D-hKrpu0HQ61_B7ItJh4wJKQ/s1600/Jess_heart_surgery_5-9612(rev%2B0).jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; text-align: left;">The first photo is after Jessica's 5th heart surgery which went VERY well. The other photo is of Jessica posing with Dr Donnerstein (on the left) and Dr. Goldberg (one in the back). Both of these</span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; text-align: left;"> photos were taken right before we left the hospital to go home. </span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; text-align: left;"> Dr. D and Dr. G are
two of the pediatric cardiologists who cared for her over the years. Dr. D was
the one who diagnosed Jess when she was 2 weeks old and he followed her until he
retired when Jessica was 20. We joked that Jessica put him into retirement from
all the stress she gave him throughout those 20 years. He came to her PC visits
even after he retired but he came as a friend. He was very kind and caring. He
stayed at the hospital all night the night that Jess was hemorrhaging and kept
going back into surgery. Once a patient is handed over to the surgeon they
usually step back until the after the surgery and the patient is released but
Dr. D felt as though we were family. He was a great source of support to us all
those years.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">I didn't take many photos of </span><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif;"><a data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=100004593186643" href="https://www.facebook.com/angel.jess.165" style="cursor: pointer;"><span style="color: #3b5998; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Jess</span></a></span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"> when she was in the
hospital, especially when she was in the PICU. It was so very hard on me that I
knew I would never forget and I felt like I was invading her privacy if I took
pictures of her hooked up to all the machines and monitors, so I didn't take
photos... but now I wish I had. I want others to know what an amazing soul she
was and what she endured. Jessica's legacy of hope and love lives on but I feel
like I could have done her story more justice with more photos of her difficult
times. I am thankful that I went camera-crazy and took a lot of photos of the
better times because sometimes those good memories are all I have to push out
the flash-backs of the bad times.</span><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">To read more about her 5 heart
surgeries please follow this link:</span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><b><a href="http://fancydancy.blogspot.com/2007/05/five.html" target="_blank">FIVE Heart Surgeries</a></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif;"><a data-ft="{" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/chdweek?source=feed_text&story_id=10152574011861333" n="" style="cursor: pointer;" tn="" type=""><span class="58cl" style="cursor: pointer;"><span style="color: #6d84b4; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span aria-label="hashtag"></span></span><span class="58cl"><span style="color: #6d84b4; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">#</span></span><span class="58cl"><span style="color: #6d84b4; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"></span></span></span><span class="58cm" style="cursor: pointer;"><span style="color: #3b5998; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">CHDweek</span></span></a></span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif;"><a data-ft="{" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/chdawareness?source=feed_text&story_id=10152574011861333" n="" style="cursor: pointer;" tn="" type=""><span class="58cl"><span style="color: #6d84b4; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span aria-label="hashtag"></span></span><span class="58cl"><span style="color: #6d84b4; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">#</span></span><span class="58cl"><span style="color: #6d84b4; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"></span></span></span><span class="58cm"><span style="color: #3b5998; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">CHDawareness</span></span></a></span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif;"><a data-ft="{" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/1in100?source=feed_text&story_id=10152574011861333" n="" style="cursor: pointer;" tn="" type=""><span class="58cl"><span style="color: #6d84b4; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span aria-label="hashtag"></span></span><span class="58cl"><span style="color: #6d84b4; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">#</span></span><span class="58cl"><span style="color: #6d84b4; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"></span></span></span><span class="58cm"><span style="color: #3b5998; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">1in100</span></span></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Note: this is only a portion of the blog post. Please visit the blog to see the rest of the post. Thank you!</div>Nancy Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00394280332224329165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31530188.post-78317576375671454432015-02-17T19:37:00.000-07:002015-02-17T20:11:42.777-07:00February is CHD Awareness Month ~ Diagnosis<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I am going to be posting CHD (Congenital Heart Defects) facts and sharing Jessica's story as a way of bringing awareness to CHD. </div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Day 1 of CHD Awareness - Diagnosis:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Jessica almost died as an infant due to her undiagnosed CHDs.
Miss Jess was born on 6-3-88. My labor was fast and furious! In fact, the nurse
had to grab a doctor out of another room to come and catch her. lol I had a
scan just two weeks prior to her birth and the technician seemed to spend quite
a bit of time looking at the heart. We asked her if there was something wrong
and she said no. I vaguely remember her going out of the room and then coming
back with someone who looked at the scan and said that everything was ok. I was
sent home and nothing more was said. After Jessica was born and sent to the
nursery a doctor came in and said that she heard a heart murmur but it was most
likely caused by the ductus which usually closes at birth and hadn’t closed yet.
We were told "DON’T WORRY" many times but just be sure and take her
to her 2 week appointment. All the concern was focused on Jessica’s polydactyly
– she was born with 2 extra fingers and 1 extra toe – just like ME! We had no
insurance at that time so we were given the phone number to a clinic that helps
children born with different types of defects. We had no idea that we would
practically live at that clinic and the hospital for several years to come.
Jessica and I were sent home just 24 hours following her birth. We were told
that they had done a pulse-ox test and it was low but in normal range and again
to take her to her 2 week appointment.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 14.5pt;">A few days after Jessica was born she was jaundice so I took her
in to see the pediatrician and was sent home with instructions to put her in
the sunshine for a couple of hours each day. That pediatrician said NOTHING
about a heart murmur and I was quite overwhelmed with having a 2 year old, a
newborn, worrying about surgery to remove the extra digits and managing apartments
while trying to recover from the delivery that I didn’t even think to mention
it. A couple of days after that I went back to the hospital for breastfeeding
support. Jessica was having a hard time feeding and I thought it was my fault.
Granted none of the support staff were doctors but none of them seemed to
notice that she was breathing hard and that was why she </span><span style="line-height: 19.3333339691162px;">wasn't</span><span style="line-height: 14.5pt;"> able to eat
well. Even the day before her 2 week appointment when Karl accidentally inhaled
chlorine gas when working on the pool at the apartments where we were managers
and we stayed in the ER most of the day to get his O2 sats up, NOBODY, even the
doctors and nurses who ooohed and awwwed over our baby girl, noticed that she
was in trouble! That night Jessica would latch on and frantically try to nurse.
She would pull back gasping for air and then fall into a deep sleep. She would
wake up again only to repeat the previous scenario. If I </span><span style="line-height: 19.3333339691162px;">hadn't</span><span style="line-height: 14.5pt;"> already had an
appointment the next day I would have taken her to the ER.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Karl was still recovering from his chlorine gas experience so I
took Jessica to the appointment alone and a friend took my 2 year old son,
Justen for me. When the nurse weighed her I noticed that Jess had gained 2
whole pounds so I tried to calm my nerves by telling myself that she really was
gaining weight so she must be fine. That calmness was shattered when the first
thing that the pediatrician (different one) asked, “Is she always this blue?”
He did an exam and said that she was breathing too rapidly and that the murmur
was really loud. He left the room for what seemed like forever to return and
told me that Jessica had an appointment with a pediatric cardiologist in 2
hours at the hospital and for me to NOT MISS IT! The doctor, who I found out
was a resident, had just done his peds cardiology rotation and told me that the
PC (peds cardiologist) was a really good one and very nice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Jessica shortly after she was born</div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"><b>**THE OFFICIAL DIAGNOSIS**</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">The Pediatric Cardiologist, Richard Donnerstein, did an exam and
then had a technician do an echocardiogram. Dr. D. came in while they were
doing the exam and then he brought in another doctor and yet another one. In
the meantime Karl was just trying to stay awake and breathe (his lungs had been
burnt out by chlorine gas the previous day). I couldn't grasp what everyone was
saying or what they were looking at. Jessica had been sedated for the echo and
I just looked at her wondering what was going on with my beautiful baby girl.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Dr. Donnerstein finally told me that Jessica had what they
called Tetralogy of Fallot which consists of 4 defects, Pulmonary Atresia and
Pulmonary Stenosis. There was absolutely NO connection between her heart and
lungs that they could see. They suspected that the ductus had been open to
allow some blood flow to her lungs but had recently closed causing her to be in
severe congestive heart failure. They needed to do a cardiac catheterization to
see exactly what was going on before doing surgery TONIGHT! We were told that
Jessica may not survive the night without surgery so we needed to prepare for
it immediately following the cath. </span></div>
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It was about 6 pm or later when Jess was finally taken in for a cath. I didn’t
know if I would ever see her again because just a few years prior my mom had
needed a cath and had stopped breathing during it. Thankfully she was
resuscitated and was doing well but I worried that my tiny baby who was in
congestive heart failure wouldn't make it. A kind nurse took me under her wing
and comforted me. I’ll always be grateful that she was there.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">At about 11 pm Dr. D came and informed us that Jessica was not
going to have surgery after all. They found hundreds of collaterals that were
taking blood to her lungs and she was so sick that she probably wouldn't
survive surgery. They had started her on heart meds and would see if they could
do surgery the next day. “Go home and get some rest” is what we were told, she
was “critical but stable” at that moment. My heart broke as I looked over my
baby who was still sedated from the cath. She looked so sick, helpless and
barely even alive. In my brain I kept hearing the words, “Jessica may not
survive the night without surgery” so I was worried that she still might not
make it. The nurses in the PICU reassured me that they would call me if
anything happened during the night so we went home exhausted and emotional.
Thankfully we only lived 10 minutes from the hospital.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Our friend kept our 2 year old son, Justen, overnight so Karl
and I went home to our apartment. Inside were an empty crib and empty bassinet.
We held each other and cried as our world came crashing down around us.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">The following day we were told that Jessica was doing much
better. The heart meds were really helping her and they wanted to postpone
surgery one more day so that she could get stronger. I mentioned that I was
worried that she had lost some weight and I was told that it was a good thing!
She had excessive fluid from the congestive heart failure and that she needed
to get rid of it in order to breathe better. I remember being floored as I
realized that the 2 whole pounds that Jessica had gained (she was only 6 lbs 12
oz when she was born) was all fluid from CHF.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">I also remember watching her in her hospital crib later that day
and she moved in a familiar way. It surprised me because I had felt as though
the baby that I dreamed about for 9 months and had taken home and loved for 2
weeks had died. That baby who I dreamed of growing up healthy who would do all
the fun things I had enjoyed as a child had died. The baby I brought home from
the hospital with me 2 weeks ago was gone and she had been replaced by this new
baby who had a time bomb inside of her. This baby would probably die too and my
heart couldn't handle that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">The next several days were a blur as my husband had to go back
to work and school so I had to be at the hospital during the day with Jessica
and take care of my son at night. Members of my church took turns caring for
Justen so that I could be at the hospital with Jessica. The story was the same
every day, “we need to wait until tomorrow to do surgery because Jessica needs
to gain weight and get stronger before we do it”. On Friday the doctor asked
“How would you like to take your daughter home tomorrow?” WHAT??? Up until that
point I was told that Jessica would stay in the hospital until she had her
surgery. Suddenly they wanted to send a little time bomb home with me? ME? The
one who almost let her die? We had been told that if I had waited even just one
more day to take Jessica to a doctor she would have died. Now they wanted to
send her home with me? I was terrified! It didn’t help that the discharge nurse
said, “If you mix these two up you will kill her” when she was going over the
meds with me. Ugh! Thankfully she labelled the tiny oral syringes with tags
which marked the exact amount that was needed to be given & the medication
name on each syringe. She wrote down the exact times that each medication
needed to be given so that I would have that to refer to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">I had a hard time grasping everything that was wrong with
Jessica’s heart because I didn’t even know how a heart was supposed to work in
the first place. I didn’t have time to go to the library and the internet
hadn’t even been invented yet. I felt alone and helpless. Jessica spent almost
as much time in the hospital as she did at home the next several months. She
would catch a cold which immediately went to her lungs and she would be
hospitalized fighting for her life. Poor Dr. D. must have gotten tired of
drawing diagrams for me and writing down words for me to study and memorize.
I’m not usually a slow learner but living on no sleep, caring for a 2 year old
and a very sick baby while supporting my husband who was going to school
full-time and working 2 – 3 jobs was very stressful… but I eventually started
to catch on. Before too long I was explaining everything to ER doctors and
drawing them diagrams!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Knowledge and experience gave me the confidence I needed to make
the difficult decisions for my daughter. At first I felt like God had made a
mistake by sending Jessica to me. I thought that she deserved parents who had
some type of medical experience or at least had insurance, but as I sought
God’s guidance I came to realize how fortunate I was to be Jessica’s mommy.
I’ll forever be grateful that God had more faith in me than I had in myself.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-align: left;"> </span> Jessica and her older brother, Justen</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg622SjV50k07ZAKoasQ6X7LSz6LdF5qz_EhhpZ63QeGYlDMqRlS3N8C1iZFZ7Y-D0BF5y5FhrS-T3SetlHQKtxxjWoKKplfP3pcGvUn964vaI172tOCmv1l1Rai_6fkswqYDTe2g/s1600/Justen___baby_Jessica.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg622SjV50k07ZAKoasQ6X7LSz6LdF5qz_EhhpZ63QeGYlDMqRlS3N8C1iZFZ7Y-D0BF5y5FhrS-T3SetlHQKtxxjWoKKplfP3pcGvUn964vaI172tOCmv1l1Rai_6fkswqYDTe2g/s1600/Justen___baby_Jessica.jpg" height="320" width="279" /></a></div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Note: this is only a portion of the blog post. Please visit the blog to see the rest of the post. Thank you!</div>Nancy Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00394280332224329165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31530188.post-27360441821780247322014-09-01T23:05:00.001-07:002015-02-25T09:06:53.419-07:00This is my religion. Mormonism: A Christ-Centered, Global Faith<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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My name is Nancy Jensen and I'm a "Mormon". I'm sure you have seen those commercials on TV and sure enough, I'm one of <i>them...</i> and it's a good thing! <br />
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My religion is not just something I think about on Sundays but it's a way of life for me and my family. My son, Brandon, is serving a full-time mission for our church which is "<a href="https://www.lds.org/?lang=eng" target="_blank">The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints</a>". Brandon is in Oregon and will come home in May of 2015. He left on his mission on May 8th in 2013. Yes, he will be gone for 2 whole years! I get emails on most Mondays and I get to Skype with him on Christmas and Mother's Day. Other than that I have to have faith that the Lord will watch over him just as I trust that the Lord is taking good care of my daughter in heaven. Brandon is serving a mission here on earth and Jessica is serving her mission in heaven.<br />
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I hope that you will take a couple of minutes and watch this little video. If you have any questions please leave me a message. I love the gospel with all my heart and it has truly blessed my life.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Hg7OVOKqeQU" width="480"></iframe></div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Note: this is only a portion of the blog post. Please visit the blog to see the rest of the post. Thank you!</div>Nancy Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00394280332224329165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31530188.post-54271677397432010492014-08-11T14:39:00.000-07:002015-10-14T14:11:59.376-07:00Jessica's story: CHD, Silly Socks & more<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<fontsize><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-size: large;">Jessica's Story:</span></fontsize></h4>
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<i><span style="background-color: white; color: mediumvioletred; font-family: 'Segoe Script'; font-size: 12pt;">(note:
I wrote this story in 2000 and added the few updates at the bottom. These
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<fontsize><span style="color: mediumvioletred;">When Jessica was 2 weeks old she was diagnosed with multiple </span><br /><span style="color: mediumvioletred;">heart defects. Some of these are: </span></fontsize></h4>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: small;"><fontsize><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; line-height: 18.4px; text-align: left;">1. Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD), 2. O</span></fontsize><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; line-height: 18.4px; text-align: left;">erriding Aorta, 3. Hypoplastic Pulmonary Arteries & </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; line-height: 18.4px; text-align: left;">Pulmonary Stenosis, 4. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; line-height: 18.4px; text-align: left;">Right Ventricular Hypertrophy, 5. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; line-height: 18.4px; text-align: left;">Pulmonary Atresia 6. </span><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; line-height: 18.4px; text-align: left;">Pulmonary Branch Stenosis, 7. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; line-height: 18.4px; text-align: left;">Nonconfluent Pulmonary Artery Branches and </span><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; line-height: 18.4px; text-align: left;"> 8. </span><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; line-height: 18.4px; text-align: left;">MAPCAS: Major Aortopulmonany Collateral Arteries (MAPCAs)</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book', sans-serif; line-height: 18.4px; text-align: left;"> </span></span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">To read more about these CHDs (Congenital Heart Defects) please click here: <span style="color: #351c75;"><a href="http://fancydancy.blogspot.com/2015/08/tetralogy-of-fallot-with-pulmonary.html" target="_blank">Tetralogy of Fallot - Jessica Style</a></span>.</span> </h4>
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<fontsize><b><span style="color: mediumvioletred;">Jessica was in congestive heart failure and was hospitalized. Jessica spent much of her life in and out of the hospital. Jessica was struggling to gain weight and every little cold or illness would send her into the hospital. She was very "blue" and would cough and choke a lot. Jessica was diagnosed with GE Reflux and put on medication for that. Finally the pediatric cardiologists felt that she needed surgery when she was 5 months old, even though she only weighed 10lbs. Jessica suffered a stroke with her first heart surgery and her right side was weakened. The stroke was in the speech area of the brain and by 18 months of age, it was obvious that she was having extreme difficulty with speech and was trying desperately to communicate. Our home-bound teacher recommended sign language. We worked with the teacher and speech pathologist and only 6 months later Jessica </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred;">could sign over 80 words! Slowly the speech came.... being </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred;">facilitated by the sign language. </span></b></fontsize><b style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: mediumvioletred;">The neurologist didn't think that Jessica would ever be able to speak well enough to be understood because how delayed her speech was, so she was extremely surprised when Jessica beat the odds and learned to talk VERY well! </span></b><b style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: mediumvioletred;"> Jessica was also delayed in other </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred;">areas due to the stroke. She didn't sit up until she was about </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred;">a year old or walk until she was two. Her heart and body </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred;">were weak, but her spirit was not! She was determined to do what she wanted to do!</span></b></h4>
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When Jessica was 3 years old her shunt needed to be replaced. When they were opening her sternum they accidentally cut the shunt. S<span style="background-color: white;">he hemorrhaged out and it took them 8 minutes to get her onto the heart/lung machine. Since t</span><span style="background-color: white;">he shunt took blood to the lungs and that had been compromised, she went that long without getting oxygen to her brain. Jessica started having seizures the day after surgery which were different than the seizures than the ones she had with her first surgery. We were to find out later that she had suffered a 2nd stroke which affected four new areas of the brain. </span></center>
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<span style="color: mediumvioletred;">It seemed like </span><span style="background-color: white; color: mediumvioletred;">something would come up</span><span style="background-color: white; color: mediumvioletred;"> every day and then she would stabilized. The real threat came f</span><span style="background-color: white; color: mediumvioletred;">our days after surgery when we were called to the hospital early in the morning by an infectious disease specialist who told us that Jessica had </span><span style="background-color: white; color: mediumvioletred;">contracted a blood </span><span style="background-color: white; color: mediumvioletred;">infection that could cause all her tissue to leak and could be fatal. He told us that they had started her on antibiotics but they weren't sure they had caught it in time. Shortly after that call we received another call from the hospital, this time from the cardiovascular surgeon who told us that Jessica was hemorrhaging again. She had lost 1/3 of her blood volume in four hours. He said that she had another bleeder and that he would most likely have to do surgery to find it. He didn't expect her to make it through another surgery. He felt that if they did surgery, all her scar tissue would start bleeding and she wouldn't make it through. He asked us to come to the hospital to </span><span style="background-color: white; color: mediumvioletred;">spend her last hours with her. He said that they wouldn't operate for a few more hours but he did want us to come in.</span></center>
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After we got the phone calls my husband and I were crushed. My husband became angry (which is normal) and went to take a shower to get ready to go. I fell to my knees and prayed. Before the surgery Karl (<span style="background-color: white;">my husband)</span><span style="background-color: white;"> and I had prayed and had been able to say "thy will be done" but we didn't expect to have this happen so far out from surgery. I prayed that I would be able to accept His will and that my baby girl wouldn't suffer. As I was praying I felt the warmth of the Spirit of the Lord engulf me and I knew that I would be able to say "good bye" to my little girl when the Spirit prompted me to. I called our bishop and he met us at the hospital. All this happened on a Sunday so he left all his meetings to be with us. Karl's parents were able to take our older son, Justen who was 5 years old at the time.</span></center>
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<span style="background-color: white;">The nurses found a room where we could talk privately with our bishop. The nurses knew us well by that point and really cared about our family. I was anxious to go in to see Jessica so Karl and the bishop spoke together without me. </span></center>
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Jessica was in a medically induced coma in order to prevent her from moving and causing herself to bleed more. There was hardly even one spot available on her body for me to touch due to all the tubes, wires and tape. As I tried to talk to her it didn't feel like she was even there. She was swollen from the infection and it was really hard to see her like that. I did not tell her good bye because I didn't feel the Spirit prompting me to do so. When Karl and the bishop were done talking Karl told me that he was ready to say "Thy will be done". We went into her room and spent some time with her. I told my dear husband that if they had to take her into surgery I would tell her that it was ok to go to heaven even if I didn't feel inspired to do so. The cardiovascular surgeon was keeping a close eye on her. He told us that they were doing blood work every 15 minutes. They had an OR waiting for them but he wasn't going to take her to surgery until she "forced their hand". Little by little her bleeding was slowing down. After several hours had gone by he came in to talk to us and said that it didn't make sense... he said that the blood count was normal and that her blood pressure was fine too. He said that there was no way possible that a bleeder would stop on it's own or that she had THAT much blood hiding in her body that would suddenly drain out. The blood was not old blood and she was such a little girl that the chest x-rays they kept doing would have revealed a pocket of blood that big. He said, "A power far greater than ours saved your daughter today. We did nothing. We stood around and watched a miracle."</center>
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We were shocked, relieved and so very blessed to see such a miracle in our lives. We knew that Lord had heard our prayers but it wasn't until both Karl and I were able to completely and honestly say, "Thy will be done" did the miracle come. When I said that I thought that my baby girl would die... who knew that God's will was that she LIVE?</center>
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<span style="color: mediumvioletred;">10 days after surgery she finally came off the ventilator. To our dismay she was blind and her left side was paralyzed. We thought to ourselves, what have we done! We felt guilty for taking her in for surgery but of course without it she would definitely die as she was getting very "blue". She seemed to be quite fussy and wasn't taking any comfort from us being with her. When we were at home eating dinner Karl said, "Jessica is blind! That's why she was acting the way she was." We started talking about it and I called the nurses in the ICU. I had them go in and do their own little unofficial tests and they called back to say that they thought we were right. She didn't seem to be able to see anything and they put in a request for the specialists to come and examine her the next day.</span></center>
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<span style="color: mediumvioletred;">So on the 11th day after surgery I was finally able to hold my little girl. The neuro-opthamologist had done his assessment and said that she was blind and she had gaze paralysis. Her eyes were both only able to look right and go up and down a little bit but she could not track anything nor turn her eyes to her left. If she heard something on her left-hand side she turned her whole head. </span></center>
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After several days of waiting, tests, and many prayers, Jessica received her eyesight enough to be able to see her mommy and daddy. She was finally calm and could take comfort in them. She finally came home from the hospital a couple of weeks later a very sick little girl who had to learn to sit up, stand, walk and talk all over again. But this awesome, strong-willed child showed everyone what faith and hard work can do. She did learn to do all those things again. I always said that her motto is: "I'm not going to let a little thing like heart surgery and a stroke get me down!"</center>
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Jessica after 3rd heart surgery, 1993 ~ Dr. Donnerstein &</center>
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Jessica was 5 years old when she needed her 3rd heart surgery. Jessica recovered much better this time and 7 months later had surgery #4. The surgeon came out of surgery very discouraged and told us that "there was nothing more that they could do". Jessica's pulmonary arteries had not been growing. Within a few months of that surgery Jessica was becoming incredibly "blue" and was needing oxygen more and more. Finally a catheterization showed that the conduit which had been placed between her right ventricle and pulmonary artery was allowing a lot of blood to flow away from her lungs and into the heart. Surgery was needed again to close off the conduit to give Jessica more time and improve her quality of life. Jessica did much better this surgery, largely because the incision was only a few inches long. Jessica came home 5 days after surgery. <b style="background-color: white;"><center style="display: inline !important;">
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It has been 5 years since the last surgery and Jessica has enjoyed </center>
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this time with her family. Jessica uses a motorized wheelchair in </center>
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order to conserve energy and is on continuous oxygen now. Jessica </center>
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has surprised many people by being much more energetic than expected. </center>
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Jessica has had to decrease the hours she spends at school so she won't </center>
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fatigue too much. In fact, most days she stays at home and rests. </center>
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She is continually fighting congestive heart failure, but remains the happiest young lady I know. Jessica enjoys drawing and writing stories. Jessica recently got an art set and spends hours drawing and being creative. She also loves to read short stories and play her game-boy. Some of the games she has are Pokemon Silver, Yellow, Blue & Red. I bet you can you guess that she likes Pokemon!</center>
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<span style="color: firebrick;">We are wearing or carrying Christmas Socks this year with the faith and prayer that she can be healthy and strong to enjoy this Christmas. This tradition was started with a little girl, Becca, who was critically ill following a heart surgery. A loving nurse gave Becca a pair of Christmas socks with the faith that she would survive to see many more Christmases. Becca did recover. Another year, a girl, Jessica Joy was having serious complications following a heart surgery and Becca's mother sent Jessica Joy's mother some Christmas socks as a token of her prayers and faith that she would recover. Jessica Joy also made a miraculous recovery. This story was told to an online support group called pdheart. Many people around the world have started wearing Christmas socks in support of this new tradition for our Jessica this year. We have been so amazed by the love and support we have received from many people all over the world. We invite you to either wear or carry Christmas socks right along with us. Jessica's mother's family will all be together for this wonderful holiday and we pray that she can enjoy this Christmas since she is terminally ill and her health is deteriorating quickly.</span></center>
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<span style="font-size: large;">UPDATE ~ January 2001 </span>
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Jessica had a wonderful Christmas. Most of the family were able to come, but the cousins that live in Utah were very sick and not able to make it for Christmas. They are planning on coming in the Spring for Easter. We are hoping that we will all be well enough to enjoy their visit when they come. Now that Christmas is over, our next goal is Spring. Several people have asked, "What type of socks should we wear now? Easter socks? Spring socks?" so they started wearing several types of socks for Jessica. Some people have been wearing heart socks or valentine's socks in Jessica's honor and in honor of CHD <span style="background-color: white;">(Congenital Heart Disease)</span><span style="background-color: white;"> Awareness Day. Over time people were wearing all types of silly socks in honor of Jessica - as an outward sign of their love for her and their hopes & prayers that she would continue to live and be happy.</span></center>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #6aa84f; font-size: large;">CHD Awareness Day</span></center>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #6aa84f;">Many states, including Arizona have signed proclamations making Feb. 14, 2001 officially CHD Awareness Day . Many of us feel it appropriate to wear heart socks in honor of Jessica as well as the millions of others affected by this birth defect... which affects 1 in every 100 children born in the US.</span></center>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #93c47d;">(This proclamation signing has continued since then and is a yearly thing we are doing to raise awareness for CHD </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #93c47d;">and </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #93c47d;">to honor those affected by it.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #93c47d;">)</span></span></center>
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Update ~ September 2001</span></h2>
<span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-weight: bold;">Jessica is doing rather well considering what her prognosis is. </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-weight: bold;">She is only going to school about twice a week, for half days, </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-weight: bold;">but she is still enjoying her life. Jessica's youngest brother, </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-weight: bold;">Austin, just started all day kindergarten and Jessica gets to </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-weight: bold;">spend more time alone with mom while the brothers are all at school. </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-weight: bold;">Jessica continues to play her game-boy and of course, is still </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-weight: bold;">a huge Pokemon fan. Jessica also has liked the Power Rangers </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-weight: bold;">since she was 4 years old. Jessica says she wants to be a </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-weight: bold;">Power Ranger actor when she gets older. She will be the </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-weight: bold;">"Purple Princess Power Ranger" in a wheelchair and on oxygen. </span> <span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-weight: bold;">She has a vivid imagination! Jessica remains very positive </span> <span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-weight: bold;">and hopeful. Jessica's Uncle Stuart Aunt Clarissa are expecting </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-weight: bold;">their first baby next month. Jess can hardly contain her </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-weight: bold;">excitement. Mom & Jessica went to a baby shower for Aunt Clarissa. Jessica really had a great time. Jessica's Aunt Karen and Uncle John are expecting their fourth boy in January. Jessica just loves all the new baby cousins! She has a lot of good </span> <span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-weight: bold;">things to look forward to, and hopefully with her great attitude </span> <span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-weight: bold;">and all the hopes and prayers and all our family and friends </span><span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-weight: bold;">wearing Christmas socks, she will be here for this coming Christmas as well as the arrival of all her new cousins.</span></center>
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<span style="color: mediumvioletred; font-weight: bold;">Jessica in 2001</span></center>
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<span style="color: mediumvioletred;">Jessica with Mommy in 2001</span></div>
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<span style="color: darkcyan; font-size: large;">Support Groups</span></h2>
<span style="color: darkcyan;">We are involved in another local support group called <i>Tu Nidito </i>for families with children with critical or terminal illnesses. These children have all types of illness including cancer and even rare diseases. We have social workers help our families and we help each other through difficult times as well as joyous ones. Click here for more information on<a href="http://www.tunidito.com/"> <i>Tu Nidito</i></a></span></center>
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<span style="color: darkcyan;"><span style="color: cornflowerblue;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>There is a bike race that is here called "El Tour de Tucson" on Nov. 17. All the money raised benefits "Tu Nidito". An employee at Jessica's school, Carlos Leon, is going to race in Jessica's name. His goal is to raise $500 for "Tu Nidito" and he will be riding 111 miles! That's right! One hundred & eleven miles!</span></span></center>
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<span style="color: darkcyan;"><span style="color: cornflowerblue;"><br />THANK YOU CARLOS AND ALL THE EL TOUR BIKE </span></span><b style="background-color: white;"><center style="display: inline !important;">
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<span style="color: cornflowerblue;">The Hershey Kissmobile visited Jessica's school and we had the opportunity to take a photo of Jessica and Carlos while it was there.</span></center>
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<span style="color: cornflowerblue;">Several families from Tu Nidito got together to cheer on the bike riders. Jessica's class made a huge sign which we taped to our van so he could see it as he rode by.</span></center>
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<span style="color: darkcyan;"><span style="color: #cc0033;">A dear friend of mine, Cathy Schweinberg, made this quilt block in honor of Jessica. Cathy volunteers for The Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Quilt Project. Jessica's block in on quilt #18. To go to the CHD Quilt site<a href="http://www.thechdquilt.homestead.com/index.html"> click here</a></span></span></center>
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<span style="color: darkcyan;">The online support group that started the Christmas socks tradition for Jessica is called PDHeart. This group is world wide and also has many resources to help families with chd. They are a part of TCHIN (The Congenital Heart Information Network) which is Created and maintained by Mona Barmash. If your life has been affected by chd and want to join one of the e-mail support groups, including pdheart, <a href="http://www.tchin.org/community/email/c_email.htm">Click Here.</a> You can also learn more about TCHIN, CHD and the children affected by it by click on the image below.<br /><br /> </span>
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DEDICATION</h3>
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Our church had a talent show and I dedicated the song, "Because You Loved Me" and sang it to Jessica. Jessica has touched so many lives! As her mother, I have learned the true meaning of unconditional love. Jessica taught me to never give up and that God is truly in charge. Have faith in HIM and you can see miracles. I want to dedicate the song "BECAUSE YOU LOVED ME" sung by Celine Dion. Jessica may have needed my strength when she was weak, my voice when she couldn't speak, me to be her eyes when she couldn't see, but I'm everything I am because she loved me.</center>
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Jessica drew this picture of herself as an angel in 2001.</h3>
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***I am working on writing the rest of Jessica's story. Sadly Jessica passed away on October 4th, 2010 at the age of 22. It was 10 years from the time we started wearing Christmas socks (which turned into any type of silly socks) until she passed away. We are so very grateful to the CHD community and many family members & friends who have supported us along the way. We continue to hold Jess close in our hearts and offer support to other families who are living with CHD or are bereaving the loss of a loved one. I hope to have the rest of her amazing story of love, hope and faith soon. Thank you so much for your visit. Each and every comment is greatly appreciated.***</center>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Within a couple of months there were about 12 countries and well over 2,000 people wearing Christmas socks in Jessica's honor. It was a way for them to show their love and support as well as a visual way to show that they were praying for her. One Jewish lady asked if she could wear </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hanuka socks instead of Christmas socks and I said OF COURSE!!! I received emails from other people of other faiths and they wore whatever type socks that made them think of Jessica. A local news station found out about the Christmas socks and they did an interview with our family. It was Octobe</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: left;">r and people were wearing Christmas socks! </span></center>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: left;">Some people sent gifts, cards and even Christmas socks to Jessica from several different countries all over the world. It was so fun for her to receive those gifts. It touched our hearts that so many people would reach out to a terminally ill child.</span></center>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After the holidays I started getting emails asking what type of socks they should wear next? Valentine's Day socks, Easter socks, Spring socks, </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">polka dotted</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">, striped, bright colored and even socks with butterflies on them were being worn instead of Christmas socks. There were so many people who loved Jessica and wanted to show their love, support and prayers.</span></center>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Over the years Jessica's health was yo-yoing and she came close to death numerous times. In 2004 she started having lung bleeds which was extremely scary. After some testing it was determined that there wasn't anything they could do for the lung bleeds and we were advised to put her into a home-hospice program. Any one of the lung bleeds could be fatal and she was having them almost daily. Jessica was admitted into hospice in July of 2004. The hospice nurse went with me to an appointment with the pulmonologist and she recommended using morphine daily. She said that the hospice had seen some improvement with other patients when they used a small amount of morphine daily. To our amazement the morphine worked and Jessica was released (kicked out - lol) from hospice the summer of 2005. </span></center>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Jessica developed Ischemia of the Bowels which is a terminal disease if surgery isn't possible - and Jessica's was inoperable. That condition is extremely painful and was so hard on her. On top of that Jessica's heart was in congestive heart failure and she was having up to 10,000 PVCs (premature ventricular contractions = arrhythmia) every day. Through all this Jessica kept up her happy demeanor and continued to bless our lives with laughter, smiles and hugs.</span></center>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In 2010 Jessica's ischemic bowels got to the point to where she wasn't able to eat much at all. She was hospitalized the week after her 22nd birthday in June (of 2010) for congestive heart failure. She was retaining weight all over and we could definitely see it in her face and arms. We also had a visit from a pain specialist who recommended that we place Jessica in a hospice/palliative care program. Jessica was admitted into <a href="http://www.optum.com/hospice/find-local-care/tuscon-arizona.html" target="_blank">EverCare (Now OPTUM)</a>'s wonderful program in July of 2010. The nurse became very concerned about Jessica not being able to eat much and she mentioned that Jess was showing signs of malnutrition. On July 27th (one day before my son, Brandon's 17th birthday) Karl and I took Jessica to see the GI doctor. Her pain was so bad, we didn't know what to do for her. The doctor took Karl and I into another room away from Jessica so that he could tell us that Jess was in starvation mode. He encouraged us to give her protein so that would help her gut work. We asked him how much time we had left and he didn't know. He said that if Jessica were to start vomiting or pooping blood to let him know ASAP. He said she would only have a short amount of time left after that. We also discussed that she may get to the point to where she couldn't eat anything at all. He nodded when Karl said that usually people don't survive past 21 days without food. </span></center>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I started to tear up and Karl embraced me. Dr. G. also teared up as he expressed that he wished he could do more. He told us to take our time as we both started to cry. The nurse came in and placed her arm on mine as I dried my tears. How could I go back into the room and face my beautiful daughter knowing that she had started the dying process. We hoped that we could delay this process for at least a few months but deep down inside I knew it was coming faster than I wanted it to. I had known for almost a year that it was coming soon and I had done everything I could to get doctors to listen to me and help her pain. Hearing the doctor confirm what I already knew was devastating. Karl and I tried to put on our fake happy faces (which we had learned how to do years before and had become accustomed to doing) and went to Jessica. She asked what we were talking about and I said something to the effect that it wasn't anything for her to worry about and asked if she was ready to go home. By this time I had also gotten used to fibbing to her so as not to get her anxiety going. She suffered such severe anxiety, there was no need for her to suffer through that on top of everything else that was going on.</span></center>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">* ~ * ~ * </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">~ * ~</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span></center>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">This last part has been the hardest for me to write. Jessica passed away on October 4, 2010 just over 2 months after our visit with her GI doctor. Our hearts are forever changed since the death of our beautiful girl but we are so very thankful for the opportunity to be her parents. I don't know what I did right before I was born in order to be Jessica's mommy but I'm soooo very glad she came to me, blessed my life in so very many ways and taught me how to love as the Savior loves us: Pure unconditional love.</span></center>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Note: this is only a portion of the blog post. Please visit the blog to see the rest of the post. Thank you!</div>Nancy Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00394280332224329165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31530188.post-28234662798923260972014-07-13T14:36:00.002-07:002014-07-13T14:37:55.722-07:00I miss your beautiful smile<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span aria-live="polite" class="fbPhotosPhotoCaption" id="fbPhotoSnowliftCaption" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; outline: none; text-align: left; width: auto;" tabindex="0"><span class="hasCaption">I miss your sweet smile, my beautiful daughter Jessica. This is how I see you in my mind only without the oxygen and glasses. Smiling, dancing and helping everyone you come in contact with. Your heart was so big that it had to have CHD so it could be enlarged to contain only a portion of the love you had to give. I can only imagine how much more you do every day for others now that your broken mortal heart is no longer holding you back. Fly free my sweet girl, until I see you again. }i{</span></span><span class="fbPhotoTagList" id="fbPhotoSnowliftTagList" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"><span class="fcg" style="color: grey;"> </span></span></div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Note: this is only a portion of the blog post. Please visit the blog to see the rest of the post. Thank you!</div>Nancy Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00394280332224329165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31530188.post-38526513567709905712014-04-22T15:47:00.000-07:002015-02-25T08:37:10.924-07:00Because of Him<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I have decided that it's time to blog again. My life has forever changed since the death of my beautiful daughter, Jessica. I have changed. My grief has changed again and again. A lot has happened since I last blogged. My middle son, Brandon, went on a mission to Oregon last year. It has been such a blessing for him and for us. He is doing the Lord's work and is really enjoying his mission. I will post photos that he has sent soon but for today I wanted to post a couple of videos about Easter and the journey that I am on right now. </div>
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Easter was two days ago and the sacrifices that our Savior made for us all have been in the front of my mind. My aunt LaRae died on April 7th, one day after General Conference. I love her and her family so much! LaRae is my mom's younger sister. LaRae and Lamon have lived 2 hours away for many years. LaRae has a son named Todd who is Jessica's age. It was awesome to be pregnant at the same time as my aunt. In many ways I feel as though Todd is like one of my own sons. He is good friends with all my three of my sons and LaRae would bring him to family functions here when my mom would come to town. It was good to see Todd and offer support to him, his siblings and his dad, Lamon at the funeral last week. LaRae fought a valiant fight against cancer and as her health declined it brought back memories to me of when my own daughter was dying. During this time a dear friend's daughter is also dying. Jessi (my friend Jen's daughter) was born with CHD, hydrocephalus, down syndrome, and more. Jessi has been battling leukemia for the last couple of years and the chemo has damaged her already compromised heart. Jessi is in the hospital and doesn't have much time left. Going through this with her mom, Jen, has also been very hard for me. </div>
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With all this disease and death so near to my heart I have had to fight flashbacks of when Jessica died. It's something that I know I will have to deal with since I have PTSD. When I said good bye to my dear aunt, it felt like I said good bye to my daughter all over again. I sobbed the whole two hour trip home. I was ready for Jessica to come back now. I was exhausted physically and emotionally. Three days later, on Saturday, all my family got together at my brother's house to celebrate Easter. I had gotten some rest by then and was feeling much better. We had a wonderful time at my brother Stuart's house and I could feel my family's love. I knew I could push forward again.</div>
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My husband and I went to church the next day and I went home feeling the Savior's love even more. The missionaries come to our house every Sunday and I had found a couple of videos to share with Karl, Austin and the Elders. We were all touched by the Spirit of the Lord and I knew without a doubt that the Savior suffered and died for our sins. He rose from the dead so that we can all live again. I will be with my daughter, my aunt, my nephew, my cousin, my grandparents and ALL those loved ones again one day. I have the opportunity to repent so that I can be with them for all eternity. Knowing this brings hope to my weary heart. </div>
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The following video is John the Beloved's witness of Jesus Christ's ministry, His suffering in the garden of Gethsemane, crucifixion and resurrection. It is hard to see even just a portion of what Christ went through in order to pay for our sins and to die the way he did. The brutality of it all can be overwhelming but to see Him after He was resurrected is an incredible feeling. I hope you feel the love of our Savior while watching this video. Sometimes I can't believe that He went through all that for ME! He did it for you, too. </div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Note: this is only a portion of the blog post. Please visit the blog to see the rest of the post. Thank you!</div>Nancy Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00394280332224329165noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31530188.post-51099303685996521522012-11-19T13:03:00.000-07:002012-11-19T13:05:32.120-07:00A pair of glasses<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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While packing things in my living room, I found several pictures that Jessica traced (which she loved to do!) and one coloring page that she colored. They all made me smile... but when I saw her glasses and picked them up it was completely different. These weren't even the last pair that she wore either. Maybe it's the fact that I rarely saw her beautiful face without her glasses on and the fact that her glasses are here and she isn't. I had been doing pretty well for a couple of weeks and then suddenly my grief hit me like ton of bricks. It caught me completely by surprise. I expect to miss her more around her birthday, angel day and on the holidays but this came on suddenly and without warning. I let my guard down and that's when it struck. <br />
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Grief is a fickle thing. It has a life of it's own. It can rear it's ugly head at any time. The only thing you can do is take it one day at a time. There is no timeline for it doesn't go by a calendar. "Time heals all wounds" is a myth. Time can help soften the pain but it won't fill that empty space in your heart. The only thing that will fill that hole is when we are with our loved ones again in heaven. Until then we must pace ourselves. We mustn't feel rushed to "get over it". We shouldn't listen to people who think we are "stuck in our grief". <br />
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I received some good advice from my uncle who buried his son 15 years ago. He said, "Fill your time doing good things." I love that. Doing my arts and crafts has been very therapeutic for me but since I started volunteering at the LDS Family History Center I have felt like I have a new purpose in life. I am serving others in a new way and it does my heart good to do so. I love being a wife and mother. I will always be those things. <br />
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It's been hard because for 22 years I was a caregiver to a specially-abled, medically fragile child. It took a lot of energy just to keep her alive and as free from pain as possible. She required so much emotional support that many nights I felt completely spent when I finally climbed into bed (many times as the sun was coming up). I do not regret putting my heart and soul into my CHD child and my other 3 children. I've lived to care for all 4 of them and love each of them with all my heart. The whole time I was growing up all I ever wanted to be was a wife & mother. I always wanted to have a lot of little children to play with and care for. Occasionally the thought of being an empty-nester entered my mind but I would quickly shove it away thinking that I would deal with it when it happened. I was fortunate that my beautiful girl was a "little girl" her whole life. She never knew the evils of the world. She was always innocent and as happy as she could be. Her world revolved around Barbies, fairy tales, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings and Pokemon. The worst thing she could think of that someone could do was smoking. She knew smoking was bad. She brought joy to everyone around her and radiated love. Suddenly all of that magic came to an end. I wasn't "Jessica's Mom" anymore. I wasn't a caregiver of a special-needs child anymore either. I had retired from the hardest - yet best- job in the world. And I retired in the worst way - by the death of my child. <br />
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Note: this is only a portion of the blog post. Please visit the blog to see the rest of the post. Thank you!</div>Nancy Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00394280332224329165noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31530188.post-53379982001506757522012-11-12T14:42:00.000-07:002014-07-13T14:51:42.250-07:00Grieving - two years later<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It's still so hard to believe that my "baby girl" is gone. I still feel as though she is in her bedroom waiting for me to go attend to her. The past several years she spent most of her time in her room, on her hospital bed, hanging out, playing her games, watching tv, drawing her sweet drawings and writing her stories. Of course she didn't stay in her room for too long... she thought she needed to go and find me. Since my husband built me a craft room I've spent a good part of my time in there so Jessica would come and find me. Every 5 minutes. LOL I've been adjusting to not having someone interrupt me every 5 minutes while working on a project. I knew I would miss her coming in to talk to me and I do. I cherish the memories of her hanging out with me and us working on cards or other projects together whether it's been in my craft room or on her bedroom. I cherish the time I had with her.<br />
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Jessica and me making a card for Grandma's birthday.</div>
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Jessica working hard on her project. </div>
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Notice her Barbie castle in the background.</div>
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I had no idea that it would still be this hard two years after she died. Oh, what I wouldn't give to have her here to make just one more card with me. </div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Note: this is only a portion of the blog post. Please visit the blog to see the rest of the post. Thank you!</div>Nancy Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00394280332224329165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31530188.post-48602289816220714482012-10-12T21:33:00.001-07:002012-10-12T21:33:40.721-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: #3d85c6;">I sang the song "Because You Loved Me" (by Celin Dion) at a church talent show. We took the picture below at that event.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #3d85c6;"> I dedicated the song to Jessica. It was almost as if this song was written about us. I was her eyes when she couldn't see, her voice when she couldn't speak.... but <b><i>she</i></b></span><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><b><i> </i></b>saw the best there was in me and gave me faith because she believed...</span></div>
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<span style="color: #3d85c6;"> <b><i>I</i></b> am everything<b><i> I</i></b> am because <b><i>she</i></b> loved <b><i>me</i></b>. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #3d85c6;">I miss you my beautiful angel Jess. I was so very blessed to have you in my life and to be able to take care of you for so long. You taught me how to have a voice. You taught me how to be strong when I was weak. You taught me how to push forward when I wanted to give up. You taught me how to look for the good in everyone and every situation. You taught me to cherish the good times and smile through the bad. But most of all,</span></div>
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<span style="color: #3d85c6;"> <b>You taught me how to love as Christ does - to love completely and unconditionally. </b></span><b> </b></div>
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<span style="color: magenta;"><b>Thank you, my beautiful girl. Mommy Loves You.</b></span></div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Note: this is only a portion of the blog post. Please visit the blog to see the rest of the post. Thank you!</div>Nancy Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00394280332224329165noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31530188.post-8138222737876558572012-09-08T21:50:00.000-07:002015-10-14T14:43:55.325-07:00The Story of Christmas & Silly Socks<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is a post I wrote in the fall of 2000. The updates are below the Christmas Socks Story. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">To read more about Jessica's CHDs (Congenital Heart Defects) click <b><a href="http://fancydancy.blogspot.com/2015/08/tetralogy-of-fallot-with-pulmonary.html" target="_blank">here</a></b> and <b><a href="http://fancydancy.blogspot.com/2014/07/jessica-early-years.html" target="_blank">here</a></b>. To learn more about Jessica's 5 heart surgeries please click <b><a href="http://fancydancy.blogspot.com/2007/05/five.html" target="_blank">here</a></b>. </span> </span><br />
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<span style="color: mediumvioletred;"><b><span style="color: firebrick; font-size: large;">CHRISTMAS SOCKS</span></b></span></h2>
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<b><span style="color: firebrick; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We are wearing or
carrying Christmas socks this year with the faith and prayer that Jessica
can be healthy and strong to enjoy this Christmas. This tradition was
started with a little girl, Becca, who was critically ill following a
heart surgery. A loving nurse placed a pair of Christmas socks onto Becca's
small feet with the faith that she would survive to see many more Christmases.
Becca miraculously recovered. Another year, a young girl (Jessica Joy) was having
serious complications following a heart surgery and Becca's mother<br />
sent Jessica Joy's mother some Christmas socks as a token of her prayers and
faith that she would recover. Jessica Joy also made a miraculous recovery.
This story was told to an online support group called pdheart (an online support
group through <a href="http://www.tchin.org/"><span style="color: blue;">CHIN</span></a>). And so the tradition of wearing Christmas Socks as a visual form of love, </span></b><b style="background-color: white; text-align: left;"><span style="color: firebrick; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">support and prayers
was born.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: firebrick; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I came online in the fall of 2000 looking for a support group
that I<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: firebrick; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> could join so I
could offer support to other families. After posting an introduction
about Jessica's status of being inoperable and declining in health, a lot
of families began to reach out to us. I went online to offer
support and in return I received more love and support than I
ever imagined! People around the world have started wearing
Christmas socks in support of our Jessica this year. We have been so amazed
by the love and support we have received from all around the
world. We invite you to either wear or carry Christmas socks right along
with us. My family will all be together for this wonderful
holiday and we pray that Jessica can enjoy this Christmas since she is
terminally ill and her health is deteriorating quickly.</span></b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>UPDATES:</b></span></center>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Within a couple of months of my first post about Jessica on pdheart there were about 12 countries and well over 2,000 people wearing Christmas socks in Jessica's honor. It was a way for them to show their love and support as well as a visual way to show that they were praying for her. One Jewish lady asked if she could wear </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hanukkah socks instead of Christmas socks and I said OF COURSE!!! I received emails from other people of other faiths and they wore whatever type socks that made them think of Jessica. A local news station found out about the Christmas socks and they did an interview with our family. It was Octobe</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: left;">r and people were wearing Christmas socks! </span></span></center>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: left;">Some people sent gifts, cards and even Christmas socks to Jessica from several different countries all over the world. It was so fun for her to receive those gifts. It touched our hearts that so many people would reach out to a terminally ill child.</span></center>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: left;">Jessica and Mommy with a floral arrangement sent to Jessica from a CHD family.</span></center>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;">Here's just a few cards and letters Jessica received in the mail. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;">Three generations. Grandma Julie Taylor, Mom (me) and Jessica</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn3JkbZyvQXH5FvDImFQnbvpB8J0-LUbIdN_tVmShPa7lfIs46Ws-VduMl6kLak_brXQXtKXr9RixNa3RCFlZ9ibH7u0-4jHtnmshzNTe9z_g6Zk9HE_hUAsJNma4cuK07vzaK6g/s1600/g_three_generations.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><img border="0" height="388" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn3JkbZyvQXH5FvDImFQnbvpB8J0-LUbIdN_tVmShPa7lfIs46Ws-VduMl6kLak_brXQXtKXr9RixNa3RCFlZ9ibH7u0-4jHtnmshzNTe9z_g6Zk9HE_hUAsJNma4cuK07vzaK6g/s400/g_three_generations.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;">back = Me; L-R = Aunt Mandy, Jessica and Aunt Karen</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1LlLVYosLF16eI2ygRNXo1tO0OFy-o2MxB3SZM_t8M6Xe0C-yyxQca91zeAwrYFrqCFveKtDUJg92Bd61vVKowex_oyJdnLNfL8j9jykzakRh35qwTAwaIeZg-QfI0T4PsgdGsQ/s1600/girls_at_x_mas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1LlLVYosLF16eI2ygRNXo1tO0OFy-o2MxB3SZM_t8M6Xe0C-yyxQca91zeAwrYFrqCFveKtDUJg92Bd61vVKowex_oyJdnLNfL8j9jykzakRh35qwTAwaIeZg-QfI0T4PsgdGsQ/s400/girls_at_x_mas.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;">Wearing Christmas socks: L-R</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;">Aunt Alice (only one foot in photo), Aunt Mandy, Jessica (purple pants), Aunt Karen and me</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEht82zXJ3OWFQj-4RkessJ2CsLc08z-QzWIjso_OONH-FIMzak1iX02BUR6D3M7wE-qgMjGdmFHu8CSz_ZXf-CiLZlVA9f_wCnAcXXLCjYHYUkW_Zk9h_yWd9GHwDNeFawR1R-Pvg/s400/christmas_socks_00.jpg" width="400" />
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<span style="color: #0b5394;">Oma (grandma) Jensen with Jessica</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP2lvNKHC9uo7-__bWET0Y1D7XmspKlLpzaw1HCmQgXBoeQTBMCMgeD2Q5n5_OHgNuDi5NG9HeD7KK6t2IiM_jAVDRiuNt0W17zHpsUKhzYcnQZEY43dqZTfHnUGNRLGp_Pz05SQ/s1600/jessie___grandma_jensen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP2lvNKHC9uo7-__bWET0Y1D7XmspKlLpzaw1HCmQgXBoeQTBMCMgeD2Q5n5_OHgNuDi5NG9HeD7KK6t2IiM_jAVDRiuNt0W17zHpsUKhzYcnQZEY43dqZTfHnUGNRLGp_Pz05SQ/s400/jessie___grandma_jensen.jpg" width="375" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;">pictured: Aunt Alice, Justen, Opa and Oma Jensen, Jessica and Marcus</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5yiIw9MOUl9sfoCPKm_7GbCl9HcsfqFeU7kBzl3xuF1zmFAgHdNU4Yr8ffoBbWd9mPElydF4oN9RBP2aPR3Ce3GrR-0CbwnFhvJcThR0RVmcFVmOZ0R1_7BpieFpdnvp8Mpgy3w/s1600/x_mas_dinner_00.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5yiIw9MOUl9sfoCPKm_7GbCl9HcsfqFeU7kBzl3xuF1zmFAgHdNU4Yr8ffoBbWd9mPElydF4oN9RBP2aPR3Ce3GrR-0CbwnFhvJcThR0RVmcFVmOZ0R1_7BpieFpdnvp8Mpgy3w/s400/x_mas_dinner_00.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;">Our family photo for Christmas 2000</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibHnxiyT5KNDfZRdOEaRv079Kc-w285jXoIhsSAol2NQK0yULuXh0Jv-nAeGQjYFsCuohcwoo0CHDJWtT-uysVr56346c3G1AFv3VMoHbZS440xMwCUMND4MAmMd7vHj_98kIsOw/s1600/our_family_photo__00.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><img border="0" height="350" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibHnxiyT5KNDfZRdOEaRv079Kc-w285jXoIhsSAol2NQK0yULuXh0Jv-nAeGQjYFsCuohcwoo0CHDJWtT-uysVr56346c3G1AFv3VMoHbZS440xMwCUMND4MAmMd7vHj_98kIsOw/s400/our_family_photo__00.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;">Miss Jess after a haircut. She LOVED it!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEion2eeoGHDtP4nwKJ04aZTBZn9R3Opt5QUJYgy2vhXoOXVKjAafF5Wl1R1mt1SYT-Pqw-zzTboGvhCYAYXgJG7M1vXydZaY_HrNqF-swp9nFvlgaVvKFKaGmMHn18mADBNZU068Q/s1600/jessie_haircut_x_mas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEion2eeoGHDtP4nwKJ04aZTBZn9R3Opt5QUJYgy2vhXoOXVKjAafF5Wl1R1mt1SYT-Pqw-zzTboGvhCYAYXgJG7M1vXydZaY_HrNqF-swp9nFvlgaVvKFKaGmMHn18mADBNZU068Q/s400/jessie_haircut_x_mas.jpg" width="276" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After the holidays I started getting emails asking what type of socks they should wear next? Valentine's Day socks, Easter socks, Spring socks, </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">polka dotted</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">, striped, bright colored and even socks with butterflies on them were being worn instead of Christmas socks. There were so many people who loved Jessica and wanted to show their love, support and prayers.</span></span></center>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Over the years Jessica's health was yo-yoing and she came close to death numerous times. In 2004 she started having lung bleeds which was extremely scary. After some testing it was determined that there wasn't anything they could do for the lung bleeds and we were advised to put her into a home-hospice program. Any one of the lung bleeds could be fatal and she was having them almost daily. Jessica was admitted into hospice in July of 2004. The hospice nurse went with me to an appointment with the pulmonologist and she recommended using morphine daily. She said that the hospice had seen some improvement with other patients when they used a small amount of morphine daily. To our amazement the morphine worked and Jessica was released (kicked out - lol) from hospice the summer of 2005. </span></center>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Jessica developed Ischemia of the Bowels which is a terminal disease if surgery isn't possible - and Jessica's was inoperable. That condition is extremely painful and was so hard on her. On top of that Jessica's heart was in congestive heart failure and she was having up to 10,000 PVCs (premature ventricular contractions = arrhythmia) every day. Through all this Jessica kept up her happy demeanor and continued to bless our lives with laughter, smiles and hugs.</span></center>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In 2010 Jessica's ischemic bowels got to the point to where she wasn't able to eat much at all. She was hospitalized the week after her 22nd birthday in June (of 2010) for congestive heart failure. I knew her health had been deteriorating for a long time but it was hard to hear that it was time for hospice again. By the end of July Jessica was very ill and she completely stopped eating by August 1st. During that time a lot of people pulled out the Christmas and Silly socks in Jessica's honor. As Jessica continued to fade, more and more people were wearing their Silly Socks in her honor. They even started an event on Facebook. They had a special day of prayer and wearing Silly Socks for Jessica. </span></center>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtlowkj76Z3MWqTYlZanXdUVq653oc57d2nXzbUZsDTOAKYXi9oWYbAbq9XyZy2oO-a8XPB9xsrOjKZuaK76cN2DsRLDV48Q1nBTAHnsZiUXNSuMOJOsMt1svuDTdjQhygfNnPVA/s1600/100_9053.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtlowkj76Z3MWqTYlZanXdUVq653oc57d2nXzbUZsDTOAKYXi9oWYbAbq9XyZy2oO-a8XPB9xsrOjKZuaK76cN2DsRLDV48Q1nBTAHnsZiUXNSuMOJOsMt1svuDTdjQhygfNnPVA/s320/100_9053.jpg" style="border: none; position: relative;" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jessica, Renee </span><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: left;">(Jessica's best home-health aide)</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: left;"> and I wore Christmas/Silly Socks when the facebook group wore them. I'm on the left wearing two different socks, Jessica is the one with the purple pants in the center and Renee is on the right. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jessica passed away on October 4th, 2010 with her loving parents by her side. She continues to be an inspiration to many. She wasn't expected to survive childhood and yet she lived to be an adult. She lived 10 more years after my first post about Christmas socks. I know that all those people praying for her and pulling for her had something to do with it. That support held us up through some very difficult times. Words can't describe what that support means to me. I continue to feel that love and support today.</span></center>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I would like to continue the tradition of wearing Silly Socks in Jessica's memory to show love and support to all CHD kids and adults. </span></center>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Join our little group on FACEBOOK: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/SillySocks4CHD/" style="text-decoration: none;"><b>Silly Socks 4 CHD </b></a></span></center>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Note: this is only a portion of the blog post. Please visit the blog to see the rest of the post. Thank you!</div>Nancy Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00394280332224329165noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31530188.post-59996068535626313942012-09-01T20:43:00.000-07:002014-07-13T14:57:18.135-07:00photos Jessica's dress and flowers - funeral<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A few months before Jessica passed, she requested a white dress with pink roses on it for when she died. My sister Karen sent us this beautiful white dress and I hand-sewed the pink flowers onto it. The dress is spread out on top of a Harry Potter quilt that one of Jessica's teachers (Barb) made for her. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7eaQN5wsvzwlQiyxitBhv4o93Y-4gyl4QzBbIZMpoA0uCGgl3UxuW26g8hVyyDLngfzEn79IEXNTxRReX-K_bUvUJjLM2j9B5iGszTw_ffZyfm1nDwEfVquP-S_kuevdIB0eTyA/s1600/101_9251.jpg" style="text-align: left;"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7eaQN5wsvzwlQiyxitBhv4o93Y-4gyl4QzBbIZMpoA0uCGgl3UxuW26g8hVyyDLngfzEn79IEXNTxRReX-K_bUvUJjLM2j9B5iGszTw_ffZyfm1nDwEfVquP-S_kuevdIB0eTyA/s640/101_9251.jpg" height="640" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528523732166189650" style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" width="516" /></a></div>
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Here's a close up of the little pink roses.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ_aak2nI1vqiS6zbdbfeHE2hp_aeE3KuhVWAEJzqIo8QD-FKRdpz3ri4R9B_Wek_qki5YN2Ns-Hy3axqFT_C1YjjF2fl3NaVPFTM56SgO627C6z4Fi16KXbFKDY5e0Vy7wUvC4w/s1600/101_9249.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ_aak2nI1vqiS6zbdbfeHE2hp_aeE3KuhVWAEJzqIo8QD-FKRdpz3ri4R9B_Wek_qki5YN2Ns-Hy3axqFT_C1YjjF2fl3NaVPFTM56SgO627C6z4Fi16KXbFKDY5e0Vy7wUvC4w/s640/101_9249.jpg" height="480" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528523738389591122" style="display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" width="640" /></a><br />
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One of Jessica's e-pals, Matt (also a CHD survivor), sent her this little angel many years ago. I pinned it onto the dress as a symbol of his love. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1dPjrCQyxuB3PS4_YPqTUhH5T3hDZa6QwLxqf4iZUyXbe0SaUYO28mw_2G7Ay_b4chkC4uUP3NO-IvY50sGBweFZSY8_3esFffYOOpYDuqnbwFVv0d22pdpz6goITjY7u-gHPvA/s1600/101_9254.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1dPjrCQyxuB3PS4_YPqTUhH5T3hDZa6QwLxqf4iZUyXbe0SaUYO28mw_2G7Ay_b4chkC4uUP3NO-IvY50sGBweFZSY8_3esFffYOOpYDuqnbwFVv0d22pdpz6goITjY7u-gHPvA/s400/101_9254.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528523730637077730" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
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Below are photos of the beautiful flowers that were sent to Jessica's funeral.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqZydLhtoeMfTBRg1sBnFwhIMgYD_a1O0XlQmXw-7k1vXjvrndd67MCeP0xT1JlCz5wnlGkS8Gf0QBrS8tc0ZG2NlG_75gWzVA1Pt5J8HW-J3wt2XbGKBNj5UjVyfPE2IC1o55Fw/s1600/101_9342.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqZydLhtoeMfTBRg1sBnFwhIMgYD_a1O0XlQmXw-7k1vXjvrndd67MCeP0xT1JlCz5wnlGkS8Gf0QBrS8tc0ZG2NlG_75gWzVA1Pt5J8HW-J3wt2XbGKBNj5UjVyfPE2IC1o55Fw/s400/101_9342.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528523030767293298" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 270px;" /></a><br />
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A white butterfly on a pink carnation!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqFI6aB-Rgczwz2Ru_4Ev3HbeAW8rNgyNzyT0uXpIWhN3gLbt6ohwoModGWeIdl0syfyTRA0Vm8mKjoODTj2k5u7RQhn2Ub4KzMhlhZ8o5xQ3YZPgshPTgVpJSdwudLdPM90m2-A/s1600/101_9323.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqFI6aB-Rgczwz2Ru_4Ev3HbeAW8rNgyNzyT0uXpIWhN3gLbt6ohwoModGWeIdl0syfyTRA0Vm8mKjoODTj2k5u7RQhn2Ub4KzMhlhZ8o5xQ3YZPgshPTgVpJSdwudLdPM90m2-A/s400/101_9323.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528523025240427426" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjylc7-btqUyF6henszSDH7Cw4Vak_3tXQFGBrZ3rh3b-pnhqT-cayulubjBHLG8MdLOs0zFH2sPVVVTC6tTjUbCdLhewYL_5J6GoTBjvvNuhDHy6ZfzgQKTFbyWgdkCvIYPOf5DA/s1600/101_9315.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjylc7-btqUyF6henszSDH7Cw4Vak_3tXQFGBrZ3rh3b-pnhqT-cayulubjBHLG8MdLOs0zFH2sPVVVTC6tTjUbCdLhewYL_5J6GoTBjvvNuhDHy6ZfzgQKTFbyWgdkCvIYPOf5DA/s400/101_9315.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528523022989014530" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 398px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
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Aunt LaRae and Uncle Lamon sent this floral arrangement to us. It has a small angel - a cherub now resting from all labors... just like Jessica. LaRae & Lamon have a son named Martin who passed away around 15 years ago. He was only 17 and had been fighting brain cancer for just over a year. It means a lot to me that they would send me such beautiful flowers and they also came to the funeral.</div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHobGWuQv9Od-OK9O4oxHSJ6rJmfIDndrh7QQ3VVAEJhWrdXtB4U4SdqM7hWUxhe4HpVY013bk9Kp8YPMGUVOxd03pa2q71bmMIKM44Z86rtoPQrA7gzX4WGMRz6ITKIGDB8PszA/s1600/101_9313.jpg"><br /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG8C-RPPrOSVhHtdPzukmcxTbDlLS4awcu3aHVdHfF7feKbBg_tOHPY2UcCbOQc5-PWyOPDnJ-Xa06hfcBMGmST5pnPd1TQ0fGPcPcjgoaLXFciD067VRvQe_xfBMwXz-DSULKpQ/s1600/101_9341.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG8C-RPPrOSVhHtdPzukmcxTbDlLS4awcu3aHVdHfF7feKbBg_tOHPY2UcCbOQc5-PWyOPDnJ-Xa06hfcBMGmST5pnPd1TQ0fGPcPcjgoaLXFciD067VRvQe_xfBMwXz-DSULKpQ/s400/101_9341.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528527169244142066" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 338px;" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwY5XT3PsUUkh2Vz_KKkYRAMStzf4DjPZ6Sz_TpB_J_CJTAA_pgmO_lVhlt8gmEME5LIUdSwwHqPcDsABW5deX3LrySDaHPLnktKI-0rwtJRMvq5y4es0vIaG8JVFecKUiWaeuJA/s1600/101_9339.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwY5XT3PsUUkh2Vz_KKkYRAMStzf4DjPZ6Sz_TpB_J_CJTAA_pgmO_lVhlt8gmEME5LIUdSwwHqPcDsABW5deX3LrySDaHPLnktKI-0rwtJRMvq5y4es0vIaG8JVFecKUiWaeuJA/s640/101_9339.jpg" height="401" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528527164402986930" style="display: block; height: 251px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" width="640" /></a><br />
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Close-up of the little angel.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9Oroj5Amrir7Om84R10AEw8A9IaBdDo5z-hLvzmpnysXJ3UrQokfkeAL1jZ0hnHno1ttnGP3g6mb-ZuyAL5TLv3K4AueTNjHNHb7tcq7WOOzdwrzP9TPGfS8V9AaVVeLytoukBA/s1600/101_9358.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9Oroj5Amrir7Om84R10AEw8A9IaBdDo5z-hLvzmpnysXJ3UrQokfkeAL1jZ0hnHno1ttnGP3g6mb-ZuyAL5TLv3K4AueTNjHNHb7tcq7WOOzdwrzP9TPGfS8V9AaVVeLytoukBA/s400/101_9358.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528523015532907474" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 278px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCba0qIABgkbxRWqLxVzfXpxl-zLgfqFHsZY032CHUdaKCm4hKz6zSHZD_fk7JG-go6WbTJMKBGQ9KKaHxPWMHI-Qy8-3XEGHtnQYpMjl9V23eX-u90IyldDFne2JCiMMItquLgA/s1600/101_9340.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCba0qIABgkbxRWqLxVzfXpxl-zLgfqFHsZY032CHUdaKCm4hKz6zSHZD_fk7JG-go6WbTJMKBGQ9KKaHxPWMHI-Qy8-3XEGHtnQYpMjl9V23eX-u90IyldDFne2JCiMMItquLgA/s400/101_9340.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528521759852821730" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 275px;" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgofbGn9L1PiareUOfwWaEQycZmosR8p1BXTzFPOoiF6zEgJ6wIPMZ88bzGyGRJdTZNv02oZwx5z8uj2fx2c87N1GZbMyhQjqPxUWHyH-txOoezF3t8TyR6gYcQoaIqeCzxGIUAtA/s1600/101_9295.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgofbGn9L1PiareUOfwWaEQycZmosR8p1BXTzFPOoiF6zEgJ6wIPMZ88bzGyGRJdTZNv02oZwx5z8uj2fx2c87N1GZbMyhQjqPxUWHyH-txOoezF3t8TyR6gYcQoaIqeCzxGIUAtA/s400/101_9295.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528521751294345442" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 354px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHobGWuQv9Od-OK9O4oxHSJ6rJmfIDndrh7QQ3VVAEJhWrdXtB4U4SdqM7hWUxhe4HpVY013bk9Kp8YPMGUVOxd03pa2q71bmMIKM44Z86rtoPQrA7gzX4WGMRz6ITKIGDB8PszA/s1600/101_9313.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHobGWuQv9Od-OK9O4oxHSJ6rJmfIDndrh7QQ3VVAEJhWrdXtB4U4SdqM7hWUxhe4HpVY013bk9Kp8YPMGUVOxd03pa2q71bmMIKM44Z86rtoPQrA7gzX4WGMRz6ITKIGDB8PszA/s400/101_9313.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528523022026751314" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 300px;" /></a><br />
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Another beautiful butterfly!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMrNvVGqNyTFyEBNNy2dRsnPRExYyCSW-6hLt7JQqxvoVCUMdYeD5D5P2tYZbFR3T8NX_LcVhaRYGHbomV-A-zTsX9lPeZIm9tNgulOrJtLaM49ta4a4RFK3U4c-eaxzgu4pDXpg/s1600/101_9282.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMrNvVGqNyTFyEBNNy2dRsnPRExYyCSW-6hLt7JQqxvoVCUMdYeD5D5P2tYZbFR3T8NX_LcVhaRYGHbomV-A-zTsX9lPeZIm9tNgulOrJtLaM49ta4a4RFK3U4c-eaxzgu4pDXpg/s400/101_9282.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528521744477272242" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 266px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
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The flower arrangement below was sent from Matt and his family. Years ago Matt sent Jessica a journal so she could write about her new character "Mary Potter" who is Harry Potter's twin sister. Jessica filled that book full of fun stories and went on to write in more journals. Thank you Matt! There was also a small heart shaped pillow with a rose on it which didn't get photographed. It is resting by Jessica's hands forever more. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga4i3cKMOskMXbQT9sCQ40I9r5CjFeSHetbbr71Nbsco6kKJGA1X8SgzNxsvHIO-4kFiV4DVqwsBC8M7lSOho3_s23MxWq2v87xWvRz767vaHao6TmCG7_4dG_dOEP38bTZ_ZUKA/s1600/101_9279.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga4i3cKMOskMXbQT9sCQ40I9r5CjFeSHetbbr71Nbsco6kKJGA1X8SgzNxsvHIO-4kFiV4DVqwsBC8M7lSOho3_s23MxWq2v87xWvRz767vaHao6TmCG7_4dG_dOEP38bTZ_ZUKA/s400/101_9279.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528521735408249666" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 267px;" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh0F4bF-n2zFj6082_kL2YEhVqvHxG3nntrkOKfq3i0Q166BSIv5x4jqTtuAawCeTTqBCPGOj3KkrIWyzPfS6CPUhDu5ZhkeA6Bx_jeyJ6nQZNlmjVeF6WaYszKVAbzcUFVrD8sw/s1600/101_9302.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh0F4bF-n2zFj6082_kL2YEhVqvHxG3nntrkOKfq3i0Q166BSIv5x4jqTtuAawCeTTqBCPGOj3KkrIWyzPfS6CPUhDu5ZhkeA6Bx_jeyJ6nQZNlmjVeF6WaYszKVAbzcUFVrD8sw/s400/101_9302.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528521161309523442" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 297px;" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn-G6w7dweCdsafSw4nIB-sKu2f46pfUu5U7TeaZk4zSxBhPPLRB-h45rkiV0yGoSeBOMlKYH8Ff-Vs1kjU3xqaUWrV-C8Rq56ANlRmOhsmcuZiROvmxrdXh6UEmPlAPRuVO4YHg/s1600/101_9293.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn-G6w7dweCdsafSw4nIB-sKu2f46pfUu5U7TeaZk4zSxBhPPLRB-h45rkiV0yGoSeBOMlKYH8Ff-Vs1kjU3xqaUWrV-C8Rq56ANlRmOhsmcuZiROvmxrdXh6UEmPlAPRuVO4YHg/s400/101_9293.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528521156072914786" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 397px;" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQry_XEVvDXzHQtKKt9PT6lDQZmfBkGUfgT385woCBS_PwPmylXK-i4i24yN27OIkf-weFu4DDM0JQJbp8YNugQIkP9pq3sshRXfYq5IEWpCJK6JCoMjSKjPKGQb6z33gd4jPBfg/s1600/101_9353.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQry_XEVvDXzHQtKKt9PT6lDQZmfBkGUfgT385woCBS_PwPmylXK-i4i24yN27OIkf-weFu4DDM0JQJbp8YNugQIkP9pq3sshRXfYq5IEWpCJK6JCoMjSKjPKGQb6z33gd4jPBfg/s400/101_9353.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528521737496399122" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 287px;" /></a><br />
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Jessica loved flowers. I'm sure that she is very happy with all the flowers that were sent to her.</div>
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Love you my sweet princess. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioBT1c2pG2Tie7CwrRbl43xPnYVluol-KmimHXTc07AiNLj7xIgeSkkoBPtH-3hL4uWwJH1zmogGZ5RwY3ZleerQ8CWoCrW6I-AlSWNCGSZHz7tSfoCPuXp_2QFZdGwtB8OS5V6Q/s1600/101_9339.jpg"><br /></a></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">Note: this is only a portion of the blog post. Please visit the blog to see the rest of the post. Thank you!</div>Nancy Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00394280332224329165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31530188.post-34008163318615596042012-07-18T04:42:00.000-07:002012-07-18T04:44:52.336-07:00Everything I Ever Really Need to Know I Learned From Jessica<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 11.80555534362793px;">Everything I Ever Really Need to Know I Learned From Jessica</span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.194443702697754px; line-height: 11.80555534362793px;"> by Lindsey Rohrbough (my niece)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 11.80555534362793px;">Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned from my cousin Jessica. Living life wasn’t in the sky diving of things but in the things seen from the eyes of a child.</span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 11.80555534362793px;"><br />These are the things I learned: Love everyone. Share laughter. Pokemon can take over the world. Power Rangers will save the world. Disney princesses may have true love but they miss out on so much more. All the pain in the world can’t keep you from trying. A family’s love has no boundaries. No one can tell you, you’re not strong enough. Life isn’t about the things you get but the love you give.<br /><br />Never take life or anyone for granted. Keep a smile on your face even when things may be tough. Hate no one. Ask others about themselves. Never think yourself as a burden. Keep your loved ones close and happy. Overuse “I love you”.<br /><br />It’s okay to let go when you can’t hold on anymore.<br /><br />Remember the love that is seen and felt. Remember the pure white snow in the bed of a truck, taken from a nearby mountain. Remember the simplicity of everything.<br /><br />Think of what a better world it would be if we all- the whole world had pure unconditional love. Or looked out for each other and shared friendship like Mario and Luigi. Look to the future as not to be the end of the adventure but the beginning of a journey. "</span>
</div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Note: this is only a portion of the blog post. Please visit the blog to see the rest of the post. Thank you!</div>Nancy Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00394280332224329165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31530188.post-40800537954951400232012-05-13T13:21:00.002-07:002014-07-13T14:53:43.057-07:00"Happy" Mother's Day?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I'm having an emotional Mother's Day missing my girl. I had to leave church early because the tears started flowing and I couldn't make them stop. My sweet husband and I went to the cemetery and gave Jessica new wind chimes. Karl pulled a branch down from the nearby tree and tied the old wind chimes to it so they hang right over Jessica's headstone. We spent some time enjoying a warm Spring day, soft breeze in our faces and hair, thinking about our girl. <br />
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I miss her laugh, I miss her smile, her stories and her imagination, and most of all I miss her hugs and kisses. I cherish the last FULL hug I received from her just the day before she fell so incredibly ill and was bedridden. Karl and I had found out from the GI doctor that she was in starvation mode (just a couple of days prior) and it was just a matter of time until she would leave us. Jess and I were standing in the doorway of the kitchen and she came up to me and leaned on me and gave me a looooong hug. I think she knew. I think she needed that long, full-body hug just as much as I did. I remember thinking, I need to cherish this because it could be the last FULL hug I ever get from her - and it was. I felt her head on my shoulder and her hair on my cheek. Her arms wrapped around me as she leaned on me for support. She needed my support physically and emotionally and I'm so glad that I could give that to her. Yes, I have some regrets but I did the best that I could. I may have missed out on a lot of fun activities while I stayed at home caring for a very ill child for 22 years but I knew I was doing everything I could to care for my very precious children. I'm so thankful that I was able to be a stay-at-home mom not only for Jess but for my sons as well. Jessica wasn't any ordinary child - she was extraordinary and she needed far more than any other child... at the same time she taught me more than anybody or anything could ever teach me. So I worked hard and made the sacrifices that I needed to in order to care for this extraordinary child and my other extraordinary children because I knew that's what God wanted me to do. My brother, Brian Taylor asked me, "How many other people can say that? How many people can actually say that they've spent the last 22 years doing what God wanted them to do?" Thank you for that, Brian. I still want to do what the Lord wants me to do so I'm trying to find my way, setting new goals and reaching out to others. But today I miss my girl. I'm sure I'll feel a little better tomorrow but sometimes you have to feel bad in order to feel better. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. I love all my family - those who are blood relatives and those who chose to be a dear part of my life. <3<br />
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So HAPPY Mother's Day because I was fortunate enough to have had the most amazing daughter to care for here on earth for 22 years and for all eternity. And HAPPY Mother's Day because I am fortunate enough to still have all 3 of my sons in my life and a sweet daughter-in-law as well. How could I ever be so lucky?<br />
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Note: this is only a portion of the blog post. Please visit the blog to see the rest of the post. Thank you!</div>Nancy Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00394280332224329165noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31530188.post-83588533978460191942011-12-07T16:18:00.000-07:002011-12-07T16:18:24.827-07:00A Mom's Response to her child's question, Are you Santa?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 18px;">Jessica believed in Santa all her life. You could see the excitement and joy in her eyes when she spoke of Christmas and Santa. </span><b style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Below is a Christmas picture that I came across of Jessica (when she was a little girl) with Santa.</b></div><div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"><div style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMpzqKUrjrZudp1UpJL1Bph2PpEmSORo1AGg_9jOjHpYWzHrtIln6z0Fio-450L7MigoIDo2mAj-GGXiXcuJugAQVHr5OXF8RZA1iJRtjn6QQ_Cx-xsYvllA0T2VFszeZml1eywQ/s400/013.jpg" width="297" /></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;">She always looked forward to her visits with Santa - that is once she realized he was a nice guy. hehe! She always told me that what she liked most about Christmas... even more than Santa... was spending time with family. We love getting together with family & friends and spreading the Christmas spirit. We miss Jessica every time we get together with family but we feel her presence somehow. She is with us and always will be. We are striving to become an eternal family. </div></div><div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: serif;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: serif;">In the Spirit of Christmas, I</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> </span></span></b><b style="font-family: serif;">found this posted on a friend's blog. I love the answer and will be sharing it with my family this Christmas Season. Enjoy:</b></span></div><div class="post-header" style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 1.5em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><div class="post-header-line-1"></div></div><div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-7172720356341523576" style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.4; position: relative; text-align: -webkit-auto; width: 590px;"><div style="color: #111111; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-weight: bold; text-align: center;"><b>Over on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" style="color: #990000; font-size: 17px;"><a href="http://pinterest.com/pin/418160663/" style="color: #111111; text-decoration: none;"><i>Pinterest</i></a></span> I came across this letter a Mom wrote to her child after a persistent question did not go away. You know the one, we've all asked it or heard it!</b></div><div style="color: #111111; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-weight: bold; text-align: center;"><b></b><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;">Are YOU Santa? Is Santa for real?</span></i></span></b></div><div style="color: #111111; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-weight: bold; text-align: center;"><b>Here is the letter. I've adapted it somewhat for our family.</b><b></b></div><div style="color: #111111; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-weight: bold;"></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Dear _______,</b></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></b></div><div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Thank you for your letter. You asked a very good question: "Are you Santa?"</b></span></div><div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>I know you've wanted the answer to this question for a while, and I've had to give it careful thought to know just what to say.</b></span></div><div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>The answer is no. I am not Santa. There is no one Santa. I am the person who fills your stockings with presents, though. I also choose and wrap the presents under the tree, the same way my Mom did for me, and the same way her Mom did for her. <i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px;">(Optional- and yes, Daddy helps, too. Of course add whoever helps do this.)</span></i></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><i></i></b></span></div><div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>I imagine you will someday do this for your children, and I know you will love seeing them running to the tree on Christmas morning. You will love seeing them sit under the tree, their small faces lit with Christmas lights.</b></span></div><div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>This won't make you Santa, though. Santa is bigger than any person, and his work has gone on longer than any of us have lived. What he does is simple, but it is powerful. He helps teach children how to believe in something they can't see or touch.</b></span></div><div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>It's a big job, and it's an important one. But the power to believe is based in the love that only comes from Jesus. And throughout your life, you will need HIS love to believe in yourself, in your friends, in your talents and in your family. Your strength from Jesus helps to believe in things you can't measure or even hold in your hand. HIS grace will light your life from the inside out, even during its darkest, coldest moments.</b></span></div><div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>So, Santa is just another teacher, and I have been his student. Now you know the secret of how he gets down all those chimneys on Christmas Eve: he has help from all the people whose hearts he's helped fill with joy and those who want to bring happiness to their loved ones.</b></span></div><div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>With full hearts, people like me <i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px;">(optional- add, and who else helps too)</span></i> take our turns helping Santa do a job that would otherwise be impossible.</b></span><div style="font-size: large;"></div></div><div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>So, no. I am not Santa. Santa is part of love and magic and hope and happiness that our life can bring from the greatest gift of all, Jesus Christ. And we are all invited to be on HIS team! Merry Christmas!</b></span></div><div></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>I Love you and I always will.</b></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><i></i></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Signed, _____________</b></span></div><div style="color: #111111; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #111111; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><b>I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. I hope you and your loved ones have a safe and wonderful Christmas season!</b></span></div><div style="color: #111111;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: 800;"><br />
</span></span></div></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Note: this is only a portion of the blog post. Please visit the blog to see the rest of the post. Thank you!</div>Nancy Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00394280332224329165noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31530188.post-66420748342260980542011-11-04T15:56:00.000-07:002011-11-04T15:56:03.785-07:00Beauty From My Pain<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">A dear friend of mine posted the following video to my facebook wall. I love this song so much I decided to share it here. <br />
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This song describes how the pain from losing a loved one will eventually turn to beauty. The pain we feel after a loved one dies is so very deep because of how much we loved that person. The beauty is that we are so blessed to have known that person. We can hold the person in our hearts and cherish the memories until we see our loved one again.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/M-GPbYcTDbQ" width="420"></iframe><br />
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I hope you enjoy it. </div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Note: this is only a portion of the blog post. Please visit the blog to see the rest of the post. Thank you!</div>Nancy Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00394280332224329165noreply@blogger.com0