Murphy's Law? Or Jensen's Law?

If something can go wrong it will? Yes, that would be us!

Jessica cracked a tooth last night and is from the tip of one side of the tooth 3/4 of the way across to the other at a diagonal - which is dangerously close to the g...um-line! I am just praying it doesn't brake off! We are going to contact the dentist early Monday morning and have her seen. We are going to have them just pull the tooth. The last cavity that she had filled just sent her over the edge and it took several days for her to recover from the ordeal. I just know she is going to have a hard time with her tooth being pulled and having it heal but I just can't see putting her through having to have a crown. She is too old to go to the CRS clinic and we sure can't afford a crown... in fact, we aren't even sure if our dental insurance will cover her or not since we haven't had to use it for her yet... but we just want to do what is best for her. She even said: "Let's just pull it out and get it over with!"

Also, we had our two kittens that we kept, Hanz and Bella, spade and neutered last week (at the tune of around $150 including shots & tests for feline leukemia since Bella's eyes constantly run and that could be a symptom of FL but fortunately both kittens are negative for that fatal illness)... well, Bella's wound started to open Friday afternoon after the clinic closed, of course, so I had to call the after-hours place. $85 just to be seen! No thanks... we bought the smallest cone thinggy (that the emergency pet place recommended) and put it on Bella. Poor thing couldn't even lift her head, it was so heavy! So Karl cut it down, drilled holes, etc, so it would fit her. All this happened just as I was trying to get ready to go to my Creative Memories workshop Friday afternoon. Bella wore the cone over night. So on Saturday we took her back to the clinic and $54 later Bella had been sedated, wound cleaned because it was infected and stitched re-done in wire - which has to be removed in 10 - 14 days. She also has to wear her cone until then. So last night I gave her the meds (which she hates)... and I noticed that she has carpet fibers caught in the wires. The vet told us that they leave pointed wire edges out so that the animals won't lick the wound but Bella was licking anyway - hence the collar. Well, what do I do about the carpet fibers being caught in there? I tried to gently tug at some and she went 'postal' on me. I decided to put her to bed and call the 24 hr place again today.

The vet was really nice especially after we told her about Jessica. She gave us some cream to put onto Bella's wound for free and wrote down the emergency phone # for us and wrote her name down. She told me to be sure and mention her name and the emergency place might see us free of charge as a courtesy if they can't get a hold of her. I'm going to call them this afternoon and see what to do about the carpet fibers. The clinic won't be open again until Tues. Well, we have to get Jessica's tooth taken care of on Monday anyway... that is if it doesn't break off before then!

I don't know why just one thing can't go right?! I was up late last night (haven't been to bed yet) with Jess while she was in a lot of pain trying to go poop. No, she isn't constipated. It's just that hard sometimes. :*( I've been trying to jump through the right hoops to get Jess into a pain specialist who might actually know how to treat her type of pain(s).

I'm finally headed to bed (6:30am - which is actually the earliest I've been to bed in about 5 days). Pray for peace. Pray for a quiet day and a restful day today. Pray for us to be able to get Jessica's tooth taken care of tomorrow and for her to be able to handle it well. And even if it seems silly, please pray for our little Bella's wound to heal quickly. She brings so much joy to our family - especially to Jessica. Both kittens do. Thankfully Hanz is doing well and trying to take over Scamper's duties of getting into trouble. LOL (Scampers went to his new home a week ago. I hope he is adjusting well.) Also, don't forget to read my post below about Jessica's bunny, Mary. Thank you so much!

Pictures of Jessica on (and off) the horses

Here are some pictures that I promised you and even a video clip of Jessica riding the horse.

Here is Copper saying "HI" to Jessica. Leisel is the girl holding Copper's reins.




Look at the procession! Leisel is getting ready to lead Copper, Sabin and his mom are on one side making sure that she doesn't fall, Brother Womack is on the other side and Daddy is pulling the oxygen tank.


Look at Miss Jess sitting on top of Copper as the sun is setting. She is really enjoying just sitting there for a few minutes.


Here she is in motion. On the video clip Jessica had just said, "My grandpa is a REAL cowboy" and then as I turned on the video camera you hear me say, "Yeah, my dad"... because my dad is who Jess was talking about. My dad had a cattle ranch for many years so he is a cowboy. ;) I had to suddenly stop the video because I realized I needed to jump over the oxygen tubing or I would get knocked down by it. LOL (Tavia is riding Penny in the background to your right)

Sabin is on the left while Sister Womack gives Jess a hug.


Daddy's turn for a hug!


Sabin is so cute. He has to get his hug.


Here is the troublemaker. Tavia. She is telling Jessica that she groomed Penny just for her. She got Penny all clean and ready for Jess to ride. I'm just kidding about Tavia being a troublemaker. We joke around all the time. Tavia is a lovely girl and we love her and her family to pieces. This photo was taking right before Jessica fell. This is the horse that got spooked and bucked Jess off. It's ok, we forgive you Penny. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't any body's fault. In fact, everyone rushed to Jessica to see if she was OK. Everyone was so attentive and apologetic. Karl and I feel bad that the Womacks feel responsible. It's just one of life's experiences and it was great to have friends who love and care about us so much. In fact, Sister Womack, Leisel and Sabin came to visit Jessica today. It was really nice.


After the fall and things got calmed down. I had two cameras around my neck when I reached out and pulled Jess off the horse and onto myself. Jessica has asked me several times if I took a video of her falling off the horse. uhmm... no. I was too busy catching you to take video, dear. LOL She's so funny. But look at how brave she is. She just took the fall of her life, not to mention a very scary on at that! And here she is smiling only about 20 minutes after it happened. (At least we fell on that "soft" dirt. We both would have been in a world of hurt had we fallen on concrete or an asphalt road!)

Is that a hoof-print that Karl is pointing at?


ahhhhh, a familiar site: paramedics attending to Jessica. Actually, the guy on the left was pretty cool. So was the one in the middle of the picture with his back 1/2 way turned. They didn't panic when we told them about Jessica's low sats. The dude taking her pulse was trying not to panic and insisted that her hands must be cold when her pulse-ox was at 82%. I said, "Jessica! 82%? That's pretty good! You ought to fall off a horse more often! " The paramedic on my left thought that was funny as Jess said her typical, "Oh mom." Karl was telling her that she was a real cowgirl now! You have to be bucked off a horse at least once to be a real cowgirl. ;)


The pros transpoting Jessica to our SUV. Jess did a really good job allowing them to move her. She insisted that she didn't want to be carried but she did what they told her to and they did great. As the one paramedic saw me taking these pictures he asked if they were for her "cowgirl scrapbook". I said, "you bet!" and handed him my business card. I'm just kidding! I didn't give him a card but I wonder how he knew about scrapbooks. Gee, do you think I missed out on a sale? (I sell Creative Memories scrapbooking supplies - doh!)


Not too happy waiting in the ER room. The pain is getting worse and we haven't been seen yet. At least she has an ice pack on.


We are finally eating something after the blood draw and x-ray. There is actually a picture of me! (not quite sure if that's such a good thing or not....)


Can you see Penny's autograph? Good thing she doesn't wear horseshoes or Jess most likely would have had a broken leg. I believe if she had been hit just one inch towards the center of her leg then it definitely would have been broken. We truly were blessed in so many ways.


Posing for the camera as we wait and wait for the results so we could go home. By that time the Oxycodone has taken effect and she was moving her leg, toes and foot around pretty well. We knew by that time that it was not broken but we needed to see if it even had a hairline fracture.



Yay! We are HOME and boy did Jessica miss her bunny, Mary! And of course her bed sure is more comfortable - and it has Barbies in it!




This is what her leg looked like on Monday, one day after the accident. Now it's a little less swollen but very dark purple and it's all around her leg. Very colorful! She is doing quite a bit better now but still needs more pain meds than usual. (she is up eating right now - 5:15 AM!)



While at the ER, the doctor (resident) came into the room and said, "so she has Tetrology of Fallot" and I said, "don't forget about the pulmonary atresia!" the doctor then went on to compare Jess with the girl who chewed the gum in "willy wonka and the chocolate factory" and turned such a lovely color of blue. LOL I'm so glad he didn't panic over her. Later, when he came in to discharge us he said, "other than the hoof-print on her leg, she looks pretty good". LOL! He was pretty funny and really nice. He said it was great that Jessica was riding horses and making the most of her life. We try. We get worn out and get scared to death but we try. I can't tell you how scared I was as I was trying to pull Jess off the horse and onto myself and saw Jessica's head going down as the horse's hoof was coming up. We landed on the ground and I was trying to get Jess off my left side and lean her against me while trying to get her face up so I could see if she was bleeding, conscious or even alive. THAT was such a scary moment! wow! I'm trying not to relive that because she is fine. *deep breath* she. is. fine.

for now...

Jessica was in the ER

You'll never guess why! Go ahead.... guess! No, it wasn't arrhythmias, lung bleeds, asthma, stomach problems or any of her other million reasons she goes to the ER... no.... this one was special it was because...


She



got


bucked


off


a


HORSE!


My mom's comment... "what was she doing on a horse in the first place?" My answer was... "uh... trying to ride it!" doh!

Remember when I posted about our friends riding their horses to our house last year and Jessica got to ride Penny the horse and was sooooo excited about it? (Don't remember? I found the post HERE.) Well, we made arrangements with the Womack's (the family who own Penny) and we went to the stables. Jessica first rode on Copper, the Womack's other horse, and Jess did GREAT! She rode him around the arena a couple of times before she got off and then wanted to ride Penny. As we all were trying to hoist her up onto Penny, she got spooked and reared up and started to dart away. I almost lost my hold on Jess (she had already been jerked out of Karl's hold) and she started to come down. I grabbed her with all my might and pulled her onto myself and away from the horse. As all this was happening I saw Jessica's head go down and Penny's hoof go up. I was so scared that Jess got kicked in the face but thank goodness she didn't! She did, however, get kicked in the leg. We were both in a heap on the ground as everyone came rushing to our aid. I had to calm myself down because I was still looking to make sure she was breathing and wasn't bleeding! We ended up spending several hours in the ER waiting for x-ray reports and blood work but finally everything came back fine! Jess has a HUGE swollen hoof-print on her leg. Just an inch to the left and she surely would have broken her leg.

What a champ... Jessica still says that even though Penny bucked her off, she still loves her because it wasn't her fault. Jess still wants to try to ride Penny another time. The Womacks were so great... they helped us as much as they could and they kept apologizing. It's not their fault! We love and appreciate them so much. We are so blessed to have wonderful friends like that.

It's extremely late but I have some great photos of our adventure and even a couple of video clips of Jess riding Copper. She is soooooooo amazing! She is a true cowgirl because she has officially been initiated into the Cowgirl club! You have to be bucked off at least once to join that club. LOL

What a PAIN!

Miss Jess is having a lot of tummy pain. She was doubled over in pain last Saturday night and only slept off and on most of the night so I stayed up with her. Morphine seemed to help some but not much. She got two extra doses of morphine that night so that says a lot as to how bad her pain was. Sunday wasn't much better but she was able to eat a couple of popcicles. Monday and Tuesday were slightly better with just a bite of food here and there. By Tuesday night she ate 1/2 bagel with cream cheese so that was an improvement. She is slowly starting to eat a little more so I am hopeful that the worst is behind us. That is for now.

Here's a few things that we know about Miss Jessica's tummy problems (which have been going on for YEARS):

1) She has gastritis and "ulcerations everywhere"... we discovered this during an endoscopy just over a year ago (Dec of 06).

2) The causes of her gastritis is a combination of taking a boat-load of multiple medications and lack of oxygen.

3) There is no cure for her lack of oxygen (which will continue to get worse as her health deteriorates) and she needs every single medication she is on.

4) Jess takes twice the Prevacid as the usual prescribed dosage for adults. Prevacid helps keep the acid levels down in the stomach.

5) She takes Carafate 3 times a day. Carafate must be taken on an empty stomach. It rules our lives. Seriously. Jess takes one tablet (which must be swallowed quickly or it would "explode" in the mouth and make one gag and throw it up. It tastes very chalky. Trust me. We know this from experience. Too many times. Then Jess has to wait one hour before eating anything. Finally after eating a meal (or snack as her tummy hasn't ever liked to eat very much all at once) then we have to remember what time she has stopped eating and then take another Carafate 2 hours later. So two hours after stopping eating a Carafate is taken then she has to wait one more hour before she can eat again. Then stop eating. Then two hours later take a Carafate. Then wait one more hour before eating. We have to do this all day long, every single day. It's hard to make Jess eat enough when it's time to eat so that she doesn't get too hungry before being able to eat again yet her tummy can't take too much at once or she throws up. Carafate coats the stomach and helps heal the ulcers and calm the gastritis.

6) Jess has very sluggish bowels. This is also due to lack of oxygen. For many years now she has struggled with constipation and several years ago she was started on Miralax. "Miralax is a polyethylene glycol powder which dissolves in water. This material is not absorbed from the intestinal tract. It stays within the gut and acts to pull water into the intestine thereby increasing the volume and frequency of bowel movements." The site recommends to not be taken for over 2 weeks (of course unless directed so by a physician) . Due to Jessica's chronic lack of oxygen, she needs Miralax long term. In fact, she now takes up to twice the amount that is usually prescribed to most adults. I usually help Jess in the bathroom so I know whether she needs more Miralax or less on a daily basis and the GI doctor has told me that I am doing a really good job! Not the funnest job in the world but I love my daughter so I do what I need to.

7) Jessica's GI doctor decided to put her on Xifaxan within the last 6 months. Xifaxan is an antibiotic that fights bacterial infection only in the intestines. In many cases bacteria can over-grow and cause painful gas. Jessica's tummy has been somewhat distended and a sonogram was done to see if there was fluid build-up. There was no fluid so we were told that it is gas. Yes, Jess has a lot of gas so she was put on Xifaxan. It is given for a two week period and then sometimes has to be repeated in 2 or 3 months. Well, Miss Jess has to do things her own way.... and she seems to need it constantly. She has more pain within 2 or 3 days after a 2-week treatment so I usually have to refill the prescription right away. Since the medication is not absorbed into the bloodstream the GI doctor has told me that it's ok for her to take it all the time if needed.

Jessica has still been having some stomach pain but not extreme. We saw the GI doctor on March 20th. He examined her and said that her stomach was still somewhat distended and Jess told him that she still has some tummy pains. He wanted to start her on a tiny dosage of Erythromycin to help empty her bowels. I knew that Erythromycin could cause stomach pains and diarrhea so I was concerned about her taking it. I was reassured that since Jess would be taking it in such a minimal dosage - 100mg once/day vs the usual 500mg twice/day, then that should not be a problem - and if it was then I could stop the medication. The main thing the GI doctor was worried about was if it would interfere with any of the heart medications. So I was given a prescription and told to hold on to it until the GI doctor could get in contact with the Peds Cardiologist.

I took Jessica to see the pediatric cardiologist (PC) the very next week, March 27. We just happened to have an appointment for that day. Apparently Erythromycin can cause arrythmias! I had no idea that could be a side effect! Since Jess is still having around 10,000 PVCs daily we sure didn't want to increase that! The PC wanted us to do an EKG that very day before starting the Erythromycin to get a baseline of what hers looks like and then we were to go back the following Tuesday for another EKG to see if it had changed. The PC didn't think that anything would change considering the tiny amount that she would be taking.

I was still very skeptical about starting the medication but figured that Jess deals with so much pain every day she deserves to try this in hopes of diminishing her tummy pain. Jess took one dose of Erythromycin Thurday night and another one Friday night. By Saturday morning she was complaining of more tummy pains and by that evening she was practically doubled over in pain. I told her that there was no way she would take that medicine again. Of course part of me wanted to think that maybe she had caught a stomach bug but that isn't the case. As I mentioned at the beginning of the post, she was in so much pain that she hardly slept Saturday night. It's now a week later and she is still having a lot of tummy pain. I am so upset that I agreed to let her take the Erythromycin. She hasn't been in this much pain in several months. I know that there was no way to be certain whether that small dose would help or hinder but I truly had no idea it would last this long.

Today (it's still Thursday in my head since I haven't gone to bed yet)... anyway, today we were invited to go to lunch with our friend Susan from our support group, Tu Nidito. Jessica hasn't gone anywhere fun since.... well, hardly ever all winter! So we planned our little outing. Jess was so excited that she woke up at 8am. We were supposed to go to her favorite restaurant, IHOP, at noon. I told her to go back to bed and get some sleep since she didn't get to bed until after 1am. Well, she went back to bed but kept getting up.... so when I finally got up to have my shower I told her that I would be in to help her get ready to go as soon as I was done. Justen was home so I asked him if he would be willing to load the wheelchair onto the lift for me and he said yes. The silly girl was SOUND ASLEEP when I got out of my shower. I tried several times to wake her up and she was too tired! What a goof! I called Susan and she recommended that we reschedule for another day but I knew that Jess would be upset if we didn't go today so I asked Susan for a little more time to get her up and take her to lunch. I finally did get her awake and she was so glad to be able to leave the house and go somewhere fun. She wasn't able to eat much at all because of her tummy ache so we brought her food home. Later this evening she was able to eat 2 pieces of her chicken strips and a little bit of fruit. She kept saying that she was so happy that she got to go have lunch with me and Susan and she didn't even let her tummy aches get her down.

It breaks my heart to see her in so much pain. I've been doing a lot of wondering WHY. She has already been through so much, WHY does she have to go through more pain? Over the years I've had so many people (some family members included) tell me "It's in the Lord's hands so don't worry", "You know she will go to a better place", "You need to accept it and move on"... etc. I KNOW it's in God's hands but sometimes I wonder why His Hands don't comfort her and take the pain away. I KNOW that heaven is a better place but the selfish part of me wants her to experience comfort and peace HERE. I KNOW that I have accepted being a mom to a (pick your term) chronically ill, disabled, developmentally delayed, medically fragile, terminally ill child but how do I move on when her health is slipping backwards? She knows that girls her age are graduating from high school, going away to college, getting jobs, getting married.... but at the mental age of about 7 she doesn't understand that she can't just choose some guy to marry and get married. She doesn't understand the responsibilities of being an adult, living out on your own, being married and how to maintain such a relationship. Heck... my oldest son is barely learning about all that and how hard it is to be a responsible adult. (this could be a whole new post!)

I've been having a difficult time lately. Many emotions going on inside of me. Too much stress. So much worry. BUT I have made sure that I enjoy the little things. I laughed out loud at the fact that my "little girl" was so excited to go out to lunch that she couldn't sleep in but then fell asleep at the last minute and almost missed going out. I love her stories she makes up and writes down in her books. It's very interesting to try to make sense of those words and the lack of sentence structures and very little punctuation. I probably use way too many run-on sentences but this girl can go two.... maybe even three pages before inserting a period or exclamation point. LOL! I've been enjoying Brandon being the comedian that he is and Austin growing up and trying new things. Justen has been opening up to me more as he tires to prepare for his future and his wedding. Karl and I have tried to go out a few times and we are soooooo grateful for our relationship. So don't think that all is doom and gloom here... but it is so hard to watch my only daughter slowly deteriorate and know that she is dying. I look at her laying on her hospital bed sometimes and imagine what it will be like when that bed is gone. Today as I stood in her doorway and she was talking to me I looked up at her shelf which holds a ton of stuffed animals and wondered to myself if the people who gave those to her will want them back as a momento of their love for her? My nephew is battling a brain tumor and one of my nieces just found out that she has cervical cancer. Is it right for me to hope that IF either of them dies from their cancers that it happens after my daughter is gone so that I can travel to go comfort my siblings? How many people think about these things? How many people have reason to? Probably more than I know. Probably way too many people... who all feel alone in their feelings too.

Now you know why I haven't updated in awhile. There is so much going on that it takes me 1/2 the night to write it. If I try to write during the day then Miss Jess interrupts me 20495838472 times and it doesn't come together. LOL

I have some fun Easter pictures that I will try to upload soon. We went to the Jensen Grandparent's house and enjoyed our visit with them. If I don't then upload the photos and post about Easter then please remind me to! Like I said, it's not ALL sad/hard/difficult/painful. I want to post about the fun stuff too.

Thanks for reading and thanks for caring.

Update on me

Thank you for your comments on my last post. I am doing slightly better tonight. One of the meds that the doctor gave me is making me extremely sleepy - it's an anti-histamine for allergies - I think I'm going to ditch it. I can't function being so extremely exhausted. I called the office and they got back with me tonight saying that I need to be seen in the office tomorrow by the nurse practitioner - if I can't get in to see him then I will have to go to the ER. Yeah... right. Wait until tomorrow to go to the ER. I don't think so. LOL I'm going to see if I can get in to the office to see the NP and if not then I'll try to schedule for next week. My doctor is out of the office until Aug 8th. I am going to ask for a referral to see a rheumatologist and see if we can get on top of this fibro thing.

I called the computer place and they were able to help me retrieve my email addresses. wOOt! I am able to find the saved emails but it won't let me import them to outlook express and of course I can't open them... so I'm not sure what to do about that. Anybody?

My good buddy, Dan, helped me figure a couple of other annoying things out on my computer so yay for him! He may be AWOL on his blog but was there for me in my darkest moment (hey, email trouble is life-threatening! ---- I was threatening my children's lives... lol)

Thanks again for your loving support. I just might make it through this summer... but considering where I live and that we have at least 2 - 3 more months of it, that is still yet to be determined. And for those of you who live in the humid areas... I concede.... a dry heat is much better than a humid heat! Even if it does feel like an oven at times! My body just doesn't like the humidity AT ALL.

Woe is me....

As if life in the South Western desert isn't hard enough during monsoon season where it is NOT a "dry heat" but a very muggy, thunderstormy and allergy-inducing type heat.... my computer thought it would give me troubles and died. For about a week now I've been patiently using my oldest son's computer to check email from time to time. I didn't have any of my favorite websites bookmarked, nor my email addresses saved.... but I was able to download AIM and chat with two people. We found out that our hard-drive died so we bought a larger one and took it to the "computer hospital". The people said that they were able to retrieve all the information from the hard drive. FOR JOY! But this evening when Karl brought our baby home and started her up.... most of the information that I was hoping to find is actually GONE. It seems as though anything that was saved in word doc form is lost. Other things are gone too... I have tons of shortcuts that were copied from the old hard drive but they don't go anywhere. I have done searches to find specific files or documents and they come up with just empty shortcuts. I will call the company tomorrow and find out what is going on but so much stuff is just.... GONE.

saved emails: GONE
email addresses: GONE
favorite websites: GONE
saved files for CM business: GONE
saved passwords: GONE

Photos: as far as I can tell... SAVED!!!!!!!!!! Of course these would be the only things that I had recently backed up. haha!

Moral of the story: If you want it... back it up.
If you back it up then when your computer crashes, they will be able to save it from your old puter. If you didn't back it up then of course those will be the files that will be forever lost.

Back to the weather... we have had more rain here than usual.... in fact, we have moss growing in our yard. MOSS!!! Very weird here in the desert! The ground is so saturated that when it rains the water just runs. We have flash flood watches daily

I don't mind the rain... but apparently my body does. My allergies have really been giving me problems and then to top it off, my fibromyalgia is really flaring up. I hurt so bad, am so swollen and am exhausted. I went to my doctor last week and he put me on prednisone for the allergies (extreme itching and rashes). I was to take the steroids for 5 days so I did. I had the typical side effects: feeling jittery, not able to sleep, excessive sweating (but with this weather, who can tell?!) irritability... Today is the 2nd day after stopping the meds and I'm already starting to itch again. I'm so exhausted from not sleeping well during the predsnisone days that I'm overly tired and to top it off.... every muscle in my body hurts. I've never felt like this before... it's as though every muscle is inflamed and in pain. For instance, my arms are achy but when I leaned against a wall, pain shot through the area that touched the wall. I need to call my doc tomorrow. I wonder if this could be a side effect from the prednisone or if the fibromyalgia is really getting bad right now? Every muscle is tender to the touch and feels inflamed.... (puffy?) even in my neck... hands, arms, body, hips, legs, face.... EVERY SINGLE one.

Please pray that I can get to feeling better. My kids need me to be able to care for them and school is starting up again in just 2 weeks. I can live without all my computer stuff even though it may make paying bills a bit harder, (and I'm so relieved that my photos are saved)... I am more worried about my health and being able to care for my family.

What a week! And it's barely Tuesday? - No wait, it is now early Wednesday!

I knew this week was going to be a rough. Karl had to go to Phoenix for the week and I'm THE parent. Jessica is having a lot of pain and breathing issues tonight so I'm up with her and I will have to get up at 7:00am to get the boys off to school. Austin can walk to school because it is close enough but I have to drive Brandon. I took Jessica to our support group, Tu Nidito, yesterday evening and I guess it wore her out. It wore me out too! But it was worth it. Jess had such a good time and she hasn't been out of the house in quite awhile. I was up pretty late last night, had to get up and drive boys to school early this morning and just as I was about to walk out the door, Jessica got up. As a treat I brought home pancakes and bacon from McDonald's for her and she finally went back to sleep at about 10am... then I crawled back to bed and was woken up several times by the phone and finally it was time for me to go out to pick up kids from school, go grocery shopping while Jessica's aide was here and I pretty much over-did it myself. I had hurt my back - pulled a muscle - over the weekend and have been in pain. OUCH.

I thought I had gotten Jessica all settled into bed awhile ago and told her I needed to go have a hot shower to help my back feel better. Well, before I was able to have my shower she was at my door crying from pain. I helped her back to bed and gave her some morphine. It was time for her to have her carafate (for her gastritis and ulcers) so I gave it to her. (I just hope the meds don't cancel each other out. I didn't want to give her morphine on an empty stomach but the carafate has to be given on an empty stomach.) Then Jess started crying about how it's hard on her for daddy to be gone. I tried to cheer her up by telling her that daddy will be home in 3 days... but since it was after midnight we could consider today to be Wednesday so now daddy will be back in just 2 days! She didn't fall for that and wanted us to have a special prayer. She was just sobbing by this point. I said that we should also have a prayer to help her be calm. So she decided to say the prayer for her dad to be safe and wanted me to say a prayer for her. (I guess she wanted two separate prayers) I prayed that her heart would be filled with comfort and love... that she would be able to rest and feel better and that her pain would subside. After calming down and being comforted by the prayers she was coughing and asked for another breathing treatment. I thought it might be too soon since her last one and got her tucked into bed. I went and had my hot shower only to come out and hear her still doing some coughing and clearing her throat like she does when she is having some difficulty breathing. I gave her a breathing treatment and now since it has been over an hour since taking her carafate she is eating a bagel. Now she wants more to eat. lol... I told her one more snack and that's it. It's after 2:00am and I have to be up at 5. I have to take Brandon and Austin to doctor's appointments tomorrow afternoon (when Jessica's aide is here), then a new Creative Memories customer is coming over to look at a new digital storybook made through CM, and I have another group thing to go to in the evening. Calgon, take me away!!