Happy International Talk Like A Pirate Day!!!

Avast me hearties! Today be "International Talk Like A Pirate Day"! Shiver me timbers and blow the man down! Grab ye grog and play ye hornpipe ye landlubbers! Because you are a pirate!



Today also be me sister's birthday. Happy birthday Karen!

HoMeBoY invention

My brother sent this to me in an email. It's hilarious! For those who don't see it, the sights are on the SIDE of the gun, gangsta style!

Need a Little Giggle?

Need a Little Giggle? Then head on over to my "Much Adieu About Nothing" blog. I recently added 3 videos that I really enjoyed. I've been neglecting my 2 other blogs and they are feeling quite jealous. I've had some serious posts here so I thought I'd share some funny things on my more fun blog. I keep shoving cake at my dieting blog to shut it up so you may not see an update over there for awhile. hehe...

Anyway, I just thought I'd let you all know that there's some fun stuff over there. I like to take time to giggle even when life is busy and at times overwhelming.

I hope you take some time to giggle every day too.

Are you ready for the cold and flu season?

Here's a little something to lighten the mood around here:

My british friend Dan is always talking about the "man flu" and how women get colds but he gets the "man flu". Another british friend of mine, Debbie, sent me this video and I thought of Dan immediately! I just had to share it here. Enjoy!

I swear, if the sick man on the couch had long hair, it could be Dan! haha!

Man Made Card

I enjoy making cards as well as scrapbooking and of course have all my own tools to make them. Karl has his own workshop and loves woodworking and is currently building me a craft room. When I saw this video I just had to laugh... this would definitely be Karl's way of making a card! ENJOY!

Apparently this video isn't working here so here is the link to see it:
MAN MADE CARD

Musical Monday

I thought I would post a fun Musical Monday post to lighten things up around here a little. This song is very popular with my kids and it has gotten stuck in my head many times.... so yes, I'm going to share that agony with YOU! hehe! Here are two fun versions of the song:

NUMA NUMA




Misheard Numa Numa Lyrics
(be patient... there's more after the "words")

Tiny

This week's theme is TINY.
ooops, that should be tiny.


Jessica caught a tiny snowflake.



Brandon made a tiny snowman



A tiny pirate



This is Grandpa Taylor when he was tiny.



And finally:
We are a tiny bit crazy...
Jessica and I doing our Cousin Itt impressions.

So little time, So much to write - of So little importance (rant involved - be warned)

OK, where to begin. Let's start off on the topic of juvenile delinquents. Is it the parent's fault? Lets look at the following events:

A couple of days ago Karl and I went to our local stop 'n rob convenient store. We got there just in time to miss seeing a bike get stolen. We were there but we weren't paying attention. I had picked up the mail as we were leaving our house and we were sitting on our car in front of the store when one of the clerks (we'll call him.... Greg - 'cuz that's his name) came and knocked on our window. He says, "Karl! Did you see that kid steal the other kid's bike?" NO. It happened right in front of us. *doh!* Anyway, it was decided that I would stay at the store and get the things we came for, Karl got a description of the kid and the bike and Karl drove the car to go find the stolen bike. We could see the boy crying who's bike had just gotten stolen. Karl didn't find the kid on the bike but he thought he did and almost jumped on the wrong guy. Shortly after Karl got back, the kids RETURNS TO THE STORE in an SUV and the clerk recognizes him. Apparently the kid didn't tell the people he was with that he had just stolen a bike and they just happened to stop by the store on their way out somewhere else. The police pulled into the parking lot just as the clerk is telling us that the kid who stole the bike (we'll call him Freddy - yup, that's his name - there's no protecting the criminals here!) is definitely in the SUV. Karl was about to go and talk to the people in the SUV when I motioned to him that the police were there. He went and told the cop where the suspect was. Apparently the cop knows Freddy all too well. He told us (after arresting Freddy) that he has arrested good 'ol Freddy many a time... as well as his mom. So Freddy confesses, the cop takes him (in the back of the patrol car) to go get the bike. By that time another officer is talking with us in the parking lot. (us being Karl, me, the victim, the victim's sister and now the victim's mom). The people that Freddy is with are his in-laws and of all things, they are copping attitudes TOWARDS US! - the victims and the people who are helping the victims. Puhleeze! We aren't going to be intimidated by a bunch of criminals ermm.... the people who originally denied that Freddy was in the SUV. Freddy is only about 12 or 13 years old... tops! I'm afraid he probably has a life-time of being a criminal. I feel bad for the dude - his mother is a crack-head and his in-laws (could be an older sibling's family?) are either criminals or at least don't care if he is doing anything wrong. But I felt really bad for the boy who's bike was stolen right in front of him. His mother said that his first bike was stolen right out of their garage and the garage door was closed! This new bike has been kept inside the house. This kid had only left his bike right outside the store doors for a moment when Freddy the Fredster took off on it. The owner took off after him and almost caught him! Greg kept telling us how fast that kid is. The clerks have given him permission to bring his bike inside the store from now on.

Another juvenile delinquent story:
This evening Karl and I went to KFC for dinner. As we were leaving we see 3 teenagers getting out of a car. They are wearing the "goth" garb, which is fine. They all have thick eyeliner - one which looks like tears. Fine. Their hair look funky. No problem. Piercings everywhere. Not a problem... it's their bodies, what do I care? But their language! "F" this, "F" that... more than every other word is "F" and they are talking very loud. I close my car door and notice that the back of on kid's shirt says, "I am the god of "F". HUH? I wonder where the mom is?! Oh wait... she is in the car, smoking her cigarette while waiting for the kids to get her some chicken. Ahh... well, if they are getting her some chicken then I guess it's ok for them to talk like that and wear a shirt with the "F" word spelled out in big bold letters. I was repulsed. As I said, I don't care if the kids wear the goth stuff, the chains, piercings, make up and wild hair. It's their business. But what I do care about is them polluting the air with their obscenities: both vocal and visual. I am trying to raise my children to love the Lord... not be the "god of "F". I was highly offended that someone would even use the word "God" and "F" in the same sentence much less print it on a t-shirt. Karl told me that there used to be laws against wearing stuff with vulgarities like that but not anymore. "Freedom of Speech". Well, I'm sure that's exactly what our founding fathers had in mind when they wrote about freedom of speech. I can tell you one thing. If any of my kids were to bring home a t-shirt that said that, it would go directly into the fireplace. We'd have a huge fire even if it were 110° outside. If a friend of one of my kids wanted to enter my house (or my car) wearing something like that I would say no way. Go home and change your shirt... and by the way, change your attitude while you are at it. I would definitely not be taking the little ... kid.... to KFC and listen to him (or her, I couldn't tell which it was) talk like that either. There have been a few times that a friend has been visiting and I've heard an undesired word come out of his mouth. I have told said friend that he isn't allowed to talk that way at our house. If he says it again, he has to go home. One kid didn't think he had to obey MY rules at MY house and he was sent home and wasn't allowed to come back until he changed his attitude. He came back with a much better attitude and if I ever told him not to do something again, he obeyed right away. Recently Karl and I saw that same kid at a local store and he came up to us and was very happy to see us again. (we moved away from that neighborhood 9 years ago) He asked how everyone was doing and he still had the utmost respect for us. I was very happy to see that he seems to be a nice young man.

And the last item on the agenda would fall under the heading: "You might be a redneck if". At least this one is not anywhere near the stupid stuff I wrote about above. This one is family related. Fortunately most of my family doesn't read my garble so I think I'm safe in writing this... after all, it is my youngest brother that says our family puts the FUNK in "Dysfunktional". lol Anyway, my niece got married last month, June 21, in CA on the beach. We weren't able to attend the funeral wedding but my middle brother sent us some lovely pictures. Beautiful young bride and handsome groom. White sand, blue sky and ocean waves in the background. Cute ring bearer (niece's youngest brother), beautiful flower girls (sister's girls), nice wedding all around. My brother, the bride's father, sent me an email inviting us to the wedding. I wished we could have made it but Jessica is unable to travel and I just can't leave town with her not doing well. I sent an email to my brother telling him how much we wished we could make it and hoped he would understand why we couldn't. I didn't get a reply but I usually don't.... just one of those "man things" I guess. So today I get an announcement for my niece's wedding in the mail. Yes, the one who got married 3 weeks ago. I figured the announcement must have gotten delayed in the mail. Oh wait... there's a picture included. It's a picture OF THE WEDDING. Did I mention that on the announcement it says: couple is registered at Walmart. Is this a hint? hahahaha!!! Is it just me or is that a redneck thing to do? Karl and I had a good laugh over it. He said we should send them a picture of our wedding from 1985 and say that we are registered at Walmart too. ROFL... I bet my brother and SIL figured that since we weren't able to attend the wedding that we might like a picture of it and the announcement for a scrapbook but it was really funny the way it came across.

Hey, at least we got a laugh out of the whole thing.

[disclaimer: if you don't agree with anything I wrote then too bad. It's my blog and I'll write what I want to. haha! I have the power to delete unwanted remarks... mwuahahahaha!]

Monday Musical Madness

Just for fun I am posting two - count them one, TWO! Musical Monday songs. These are in honor of our crazy week last week when we caught one of Jessica's home health aides taking Jessica's morphine and then passing out while on duty.

This first song I thought of right away. My husband has busted people for drugs as a cop for years... never did we know that a drug addict would be caught in our own home!

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST


And this song is one that Christine and Karin thought of... since the aide no longer has access to her client's morphine this song is for her. (Oh, I'm so bad!)

COLD TURKEY

*Snap* Crackle* Pop*

This is what my computer monitor did today. Well, there wasn't any smoke but it did make some zapping sounds and then the picture went out. After that there were just some clicking sounds as if it was turning itself on and off. It has been threatening to die by making zapping noises and scaring the children for several days now. So Karl decided to bring Justen's monitor out here just for the day until we could decide what to do. Well... that monitor's cord wasn't long enough so we just decided to go shopping for a new one!

So, Jessica heard us talking about buying a new monitor. (She is easily confused and still thinks the monitor is the computer, but oh well) She came to me and said, "Mom, how about I buy the computer for you?" (She is now receiving Social Security and has no clue how to manage the money or what the value of money is at all. Good thing the government made me the payee or all she would buy would be games, toys and coloring books. hehe)

Me: "Oh really? YOU want to buy the computer monitor?"

Jess: "Sure! You can use my money the government gives me." Then she comes over and sits by the computer. Then she says, "Mom, if I buy the computer then can I be on the computer ALL THE TIME?"

I start to giggle and say, "No, but you can have your turns, just like you do now."

Jess: "Ok. I'll give you fourteen dollars of my money for the computer."

I start to laugh, "Fourteen dollars? Is that all? A monitor is probably going to be around $200!"

Jess: "OK! Sixteen dollars and that's MY FINAL OFFER!" She looks at me very seriously and says, "I can't SELL you twenty dollars... that is just TOO MUCH! Besides, I need to have enough money to buy the Pokemon Diamond game!"

By this time I was laughing pretty good. I then remembered when she was much younger (and so was my dad) she asked me how old grandpa is and I responded "He's 50." Jess got all excited and said, "WOW! THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY!" ROFL!!! She is such a cutie. She's my little girl!

ps
She thinks that her $16 bought our new flat-screen monitor. hehe... but hey, we did get a good deal on it... it was $179. Not too bad of a price.

Philosophical questions

Sometimes we have some very philosophical discussions as a family. Just the other day we were discussing the age-old question: "If a tree falls in the forest and there's nobody there to hear it, does it still make a sound?" If that isn't hard enough to figure out, here are a few more impossible questions to answer:
If a tree falls in the forest and a woman isn't there, is it still the man's fault?
If a tree falls on a Tibetan monk, will he break his vow of silence?
If a tree falls in the forest and lands on a mime - will anybody care?

My head is spinning with the endless possible scenarios! Don't even get me started on the "Mommy! Mommy!" ones. We'll save those for another time.

Thought for the day:

I saw this on a bumper sticker tonight and thought... yeah, I totally get it!

Somedays it just doesn't pay.......

to chew my way out of the restraints.

Finding Nature Amusing

Karl and Brandon were playing basketball outside today when they thought they saw a hawk flying overhead. Karl looks closer and realizes that it's actually a falcon and just as he and Brandon were talking about it, the falcon attacks smaller bird and knocks it to the ground. As the falcon flies lower to pick up the now dead bird, our cat, White Toes, pounces on the dead bird and runs off to the back yard with it. I knew nothing of what had happened and I happened to look out our sliding glass door that leads into the back yard just in time to see White Toes going past with a bird in his mouth. He seemed to have a little bounce in his steps as if he was very proud of himself. I thought, wow, "I guess White Toes has finally learned how to catch birds". Karl and Brandon then come into the house and tell me what just happened. They were laughing as it seemed that the falcon was kind of surprised that the cat ran off with his dinner. We started joking about it and decided that at least if White Toes can't catch his own birds then at least he knows how to steal them. LOL!

We went outside to see what White Toes would do with the dead bird. We found him underneath the trampoline and he seemed to be trying to play with it. Since it wasn't going to move any he decided that instead of playing with it, he might as well eat it. It was pretty funny watching him take a big bite of feathers and then try to spit them out. We had a good laugh over it. I know, sounds gross but it wasn't that bad. Maybe I'm used to it since the cat I had when I was groing up was good at catching birds. In fact, she would bring the bird to our back door and meow and meow until someone went out to tell her that she had done a good job... and only then would she take it somewhere to eat it.

Out of the mouths of babes...

I have debated whether to blog this or not but it's too darn cute/funny not to. The names of the guilty (or innocent) parties are being left out except fot mine and Jessica's. hehe... Let me preface this conversation by reminding you, the reader, that Jess is at the level (emotionally, socially, academically) of about an 8 year old.

Jessica's home health aide arrived today and Jessica decided to tell her about a young woman we know who is pregnant. Said young woman is still in her teens and unmarried.

Jessica announced "She had sex with a boy!"

Both the aide and I stood and looked each other in the eye, being shocked at her announcement and also trying not to laugh.

"And she did it the wrong way!" Jessica continued.

The aide and I couldn't contain ourselves any longer and we burst out laughing, both of us turning bright red. I'm standing there wondering what she meant by her last statement. I didn't know there was a right way or wrong way and wondered if I had been doing it wrong all these years. lol

So I asked Jess what she meant about doing it the wrong way and she said, "She isn't married." Big sigh of relief! The aide and I both are trying to control our laughter.

Then Jessica tells me that she needs my help in the bathroom and leaves. The aide told me that she was shocked by what Jessica had said since she didn't think that Jess knows anything about that stuff. I told her that Jess was quite confused when she found out her friend was pregnant and couldn't understand how that happened because her friend isn't married. As an answer I told her that her friend had sex with a boy. Then Jess asked me if sex meant kissing...

I hear a muttled voice from the bathroom, "I CAN HEAR YOU!!!" Then laughter.

Later Jess asked me, "Am I older than (friend)?"

Me, "Yes, you are."

Jess, "Have I always been older?"

She is still my little girl. :-D

What's with the Random Questions?

I was trying to post a picture of myself on my profile and noticed something called a Random Question at the bottom of the page. The question I saw said that if I wore a sweater that went all the way down to my hips, what color of belt would I wear? Well, what a stupid question... no way am I going to wear a belt! Doesn't a person need a WAIST in order to wear a belt? lol And what decade were they thinking of anyway? So I decided to ask for another random question which was: If you can whistle and the wind can whistle why do you sing in the shower? HUH? Whistling is totally different than singing and I'm sure most of you know that wind isn't made of water as a shower usually is. durrr... So I asked for another one and this is what I got:

If you were a cannibal, what would you wear to dinner?

Well, I think the answer is OBVIOUS! But I would like your responses please!

Woody Board and Geppetto Brandon

Here is a visual story of Brandon and his friend Woody Board.

Geppetto Brandon making his own wooden boy. He names him Woody Board.



Geppetto Brandon is happy with his creation. Woody is concerned because he can't seem to find his arms and hands.



Geppetto Brandon seems upset. What did you say to him Woody?



Woody wonders if he should be concerned? Is this a new place for timeout? What happened to just standing in the corner?



Woody smells something different. He wonders if he passed gas.



Now Woody is feeling a little warm. What is that smell? It's getting stronger.



Woody is starting to get concerned. He wonders if Pinocchio ever had to deal with this type of situation.



Woody notices that the cage doors are now closed. He knows now that there is no escape.



Woody was a real hero - he gave his life to give our family warmth.
Ignore the boy in the t-shirt and shorts. It really WAS COLD that day.

Which picture is NOT Charlie?

Jessica's Letter to Santa

Jessica wanted to get a jump on the holiday season and is already watching "The Santa Clause" movies with Tim Allen. She can't wait to see the newest movie when it comes out November 3rd. She says that she sure hope that Bernard is in the new movie or she says she will cry. lol She has a HUGE crush on Bernard... and yes, she wanted me to tell you that! She also gave me permission to scan and post her letter to Sant here. So here it is!

Who in the World???

Any guesses as to who this guy is? Some questions you might want to ask yourselves are: Was this picture taken before the world had color? or just before they had color film? Or was this picture taken recently with black & white film and a cheapy camera? If you came accross this guy would you ever go near him again? hehehe...

Since my last several posts have been quite serious and kind of discouraging, I thought it would be fun to have a little contest. So please, if you have ANY guesses, post them! Whoever guesses the right answer FIRST wins a prize! (to be determined at a later time by a group of judges) And as another disclaimer... I'm quite sure that the person in the photo does NOT know that I put it here (at least not yet)... but probably won't sue me over it. ;)

Let the games begin!

Jessica's grocery list

This was just too cute! I just had to share Jessica's grocery list. I'm getting ready to run some errands and Jess wanted to make a grocery list for me. As you can see she also drew the pictures so I would know exactly what she wanter. hehe... unfortunately she drew the ice cream cone up-side-down. She's such a little girl.... she makes me smile.

You can see that she is trying out fancy hand writting.