Butterfly Girl

I found this image online and it made me think of my beautiful girl, Miss Jess, in heaven who can finally dance and fly with the butterflies.  

I had a rough day today, you see, one year ago we found out from the GI doctor that our daughter was indeed in starvation mode... her GI system was shutting down due to her terminal GI illness. We didn't know that we only had 2 months left with our angel on earth. I keep having flashbacks of that day and the months following... so many difficult moments... but precious ones as well. Just wish I could kiss her cheek and hear her telling me how much she loves me one more time.

Of course one more kiss and hug would leave me wanting one more and one more.  At least I took the opportunity to get as many hugs and kisses and "I love you's" as I could while she was still here.  We had many private moments and talks which I cherish.  I hope that the good memories will help me going while dealing with the difficult ones as they come.

Last weekend we celebrated my parent's 50th wedding anniversary.  It was a wonderful event.  I hope to have photos back from my dear friend and photographer soon.  I missed my girl so very much but knew that she would have been way to sick to even attend the event had she still been alive.  I'm sure that she and her cousin, Marcus, were there enjoying the rest of my parent's children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  My parents both had siblings who were able to make it to their celebration too and it was so wonderful to see them again.  

My husband reminded me that I shouldn't forget to include my cousin, Martin, who died about 14 yrs ago from a brain tumor when I speak of Jessica and Marcus - and he's right.  I didn't know Martin very well since he was much younger than myself but he touched our lives in a way only he could.  When he was fighting his cancer we drove to the Phoenix area (about 2 1/2 hrs from our home) to visit him and my aunt and uncle to offer them support.  It meant a lot to them that we would go and be there with them.. . and it blessed our lives to be able to offer our love and support to them as well.  Caring for a medically fragile child for so many years has offered Karl and I an opportunity to be so much more compassionate towards anyone dealing with an illness, disability or special needs.  I have found that it's one thing that helps lift my spirits - offering support and love to others who are either caring for a loved one with special needs/medical issues or who are grieving the loss of a loved one.  

I hope to be back soon with photos of our amazing family celebration honoring my parent's 50th anniversary.  I'm so thankful for them and their commitment to the gospel and to each other.  

Wow, What a Day!

First of all, Jessica and I went for haircuts. We have been trying to find a time for us both to get nice, cool summer cuts. I have been growing my hair long for quite a few years now and I finally made up my mind to get it cut off. Short! I had 10 inches taken off and am donating it to Locks of Love. I am doing so in honor of my nephew, Marcus, who is battling brain cancer (who is doing very well right now, by the way). Anyway... my friend, Keri, has donated her hair 3 times to Locks of Love in the last few years and I have been there with her the last 2 times. Keri and her family are moving out of state next week (*wahhh!!*) and so we went today so she could be there with me when I have my hair whacked off (*gulp*!). She brought her youngest son, Tyler, with her and had a hair cut too. We took turns babysitting - there's a picture of Tyler later on in this post.

Here are the pictures!

The day before... ok, I'm trying hard to be cute and not show how nervous I am to have my hair cut off. It's long, thick and of course HOT! (not HOT hot, but hot... well, Karl thinks it's Hot)


Today at the salon right before the big SNIP!


This is my friend, Lisa, who happens to work at the salon. She is about to cut off my hair.

This is my "after" picture. It's not quite true to how cute the cut is... we took this picture tonight right before Karl and the kids went to bed. I was (still am) tired and my hair was kind of tired too. hehe... The lighting isn't that great either, but meh....

Here is the back. All that curl is NATURAL!! Now don't you just want to go jump off a cliff out of jealousy? hehe... What's funny is that the front of my hair... the bangs and sides... are pretty straight but the back is really curly. Go figure!

Here is Miss Jess during her haircut. See how long her bangs were?

This is how much she got cut off the back. Not long enough to donate, but she really needed it cut - she was really hot and got tired of having it put up in pony tails all the time.

Isn't she gorgeous?!

Here are Jessica and Tyler petting a dog that came into the salon with her owners. There is a story behind this sweet dog. Her name is Chemo. I asked the older gentleman (who came into the salon with his wife) if there was a reason her name was Chemo. He said yes. He motioned to his wife and said, "She had Chemo. I turned it down and bought her (motioning to the dog) instead. SHE (the dog) is my therapy. I could see so much emotion and love between the two older people and the dog. As we spoke I realized that the wife had battled cancer with chemo. The husband has decided not to take chemo - could be that his cancer could be too far progressed for it to do much good - so he got a dog and named her Chemo. This sweet couple are spending what time they have left on HIS terms. The are living life. They got the dog from the Humane Society and she is such a sweet, patient dog. I don't know this couple's names but I pray the are able to spend some great, quality time and that Chemo, the dog, is great therapy and helps the gentleman survive longer than expected.

Last but not least... today was mine and Karl's 22nd anniversary! We went out to dinner at the Olive Garden. mmmmmm....... it was wonderful! We had fun and really enjoyed ourselves. I wanted an anniversary picture to post here and so we had Brandon, our 13yr old, take the following pictures. Again, the lighting wasn't that great but we don't really have a photo studio so we just have to do the best that we can with what little wall space we have.


Still in love after 22 years. Go us!