Letting Go

On this last (extra) day of February I feel it's fitting to post this photo. My dear friend Jen L Baker's daughter, Jessi, passed away just a couple of days ago from congestive heart failure due to CHDs and leukemia, etc. As you all know my daughter, Angel Jess passed away from CHDs and Ischemic Bowel Syndrome 5 years ago.

My heart has been so heavy knowing that my dear friend and her family are going through the heartbreak of losing a child too. A lot of what I went through with Jessica has come back to me. Watching Jessica take her final breath and watching her heart stop forever came back as if it happened yesterday. There are times that my loss feels so raw and all I want to do is hold my daughter one more time. As I count the months and years that go by at times I still feel as if I'm in that moment again, telling her to go to the light while on the inside I was crying, "Don't leave me!!!" That's the ultimate sacrifice. Thinking of her welfare above my own. That's what Jen had to do as well.

Praying for your child to be taken in order for their suffering to end is the least selfish thing a parent can do for their dying child. We fought for our daughters their whole lives, getting them the best care they deserve, best possible education, best therapies, home nurses, fighting with insurance companies, medical supply companies and sometimes fighting with doctors and other medical professionals to LISTEN to us because we're the ones who are there 24/7 and we know our children better than anyone else. For 22 years + 4 months for me and almost 22 years for Jen, the last thing we ever wanted to do was to pray for our daughters to leave us but when they have fought so long and so hard and are so tired.... that's when we tell them that it's time to go. We say that will be ok even if we feel like we're lying to them, that's what we say so that they will be able to go. Because we love them. that. much.

I don't have all the answers but grief is something we all must endure sometime in our lives. Grief is messy, it's ugly and it attacks at a whim. There is no timeline for grief and if you think that there are only 5 stages to it or that they come in a particular order, ... you're wrong. Grief has made me say things I never would have said or cried when I never would have cried. It has made me tired, achy and depressed. It has also made me more compassionate and to see the eternal aspects of life with a whole new meaning.

Please be patient with those of us who are still grieving or have just begun this very difficult path. Parents of special needs, medically fragile children like Jen and I have experienced what they call "Anticipatory grief" for many years, not from us sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves, but from watching our children fight for their lives again and again and again over the years. Having medical professionals tell us that our child could die at any moment doesn't help that anxiety any either. I have suffered from PTSD for many years having seen my child go through countless hospitalizations, many surgeries including 5 heart surgeries, suffering strokes, being blind and paralyzed, etc. Jessica's death was the ultimate cause of PTSD and I still have flashbacks of the most difficult times in Jessica's life and her death. Her long, painful, difficult death.

This life is not one for the weak of heart.... except that I used to be one of those. I used to throw up in the downstairs bathroom as soon as I got to the hospital before I could go upstairs to see my newborn baby in the PICU when she was first diagnosed with her CHDs. There were times when I had to pray to God saying, "You gave me this child, please make my stomach strong enough that I can change her bandages without throwing up on them." I was one who sat and prayed over her for hours at a time, walking the halls of the hospital with her, doing therapies with her and sitting up with her at night giving her breathing treatments so that she could breathe to live one more day. I was the one who stayed up all night with her as she got older because her anxiety got so bad at night. I was the one who spent the most time with her and did the most for her... and I was the lucky one. My husband had to work to provide a roof over our heads, my sons had to go to school. I was the one who got to spend time watching tv with her late into the night, talking with her, listening to her, calming her fears and holding her. I am the one who benefitted from her beautiful spirit the most and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat if it were asked of me to do again.

I know that a lot of other CHD moms, dads and other parents of medically fragile children have been down this road. I know you sacrifice a lot for your children and I see you. I see your sacrifices and your pain but I see the love that you have for your child and it makes me smile. Big.

So on this last day of CHD Awareness month I want to leave with you this image of my husband and I saying 'good bye for now' to our beautiful angel. Far too many CHD families have to say good bye to their children because CHD or CHD-related diseases claimed their lives too soon.

Facebook Updates on Jessica from September 9 - 13

9-9-10

Nancy Taylor Jensen is having a really rough day. Jess keeps vomiting and even fell. She called for Daddy and then got out of bed and fell. He heard the crash and went running only to see her trying to pick herself up off the floor and everything on her bedside table had been knocked off. Then came the dry heaves.

Karl woke me up every time she threw up so I could give her a suppository. He is giving her the anti-nausea lotion every 4 hours as well and nothing is working. I called the hospice nurse and she came out and gave Jess a shot of promethazine. The hospice doctor said that it usually stops the nausea long enough for the other meds to be able to take effect and be absorbed better. She brought several doses in case Jess needs more injections over the weekend. The shot also makes her sleepy so she is resting. I'm going to take a nap - I'm so exhausted. Fortunately we have an aide coming this evening. Thank you all for your good thoughts and prayers.

ps: Jessica had been throwing round the clock every 3 - 4 hours even with us administering 2 anti-nausea medications.

(later that night)

Jess has been entertaining us all night. She is dreaming a lot and talking in her sleep, raising her arms up as if she were drawing or cooking. lol She threw up again at about 3:30am. She's also having a lot of muscle spasms and jerking. Could be the meds. She isn't resting very well with all the spasms and wild dreams.

9-10-10

Jess has had a very difficult 1 1/2 days. She has been confused, dreaming crazy things, crying out for help and her speech has been slurred. Sometimes it's been cute to see her reaching out as if beading a string or even hearing her singing but she hasn't been able to just sleep.

When she was awake she was crying because she can't eat anything or do anything that she used to. Sometimes she seems to be meeting people and at one time she thought that her bunny that died, Mary, was right next to her. I understand that those things usually happen right before a person passes, and I don't mind any of that... it's when she cries out and has a bad dream that I breaks my heart. I'm sitting in her room now on my laptop so I can be here in case she cries out or needs me. Just now she was telling someone, "this is my family" and seemed to be showing someone a picture of her family. And then mumbled some things... then she asked which way to go, "This way or that way?"... and then she tried to sit up. She woke up and I asked her if she had seen the light and she said no. She asked me if she was going to go to the hospital and I said no. I asked her if she wanted to go to the hospital and she shook her head no and so I again told her not to worry that she will stay right here until it's time to go to heaven.

I can't leave her because she just calls me back every two minutes. I'm letting Karl sleep and I'll have my turn to sleep later. I hope this phase, even if it is her last, ends soon. I hate seeing her in mental agony and not being able to rest.

Ps: she also kept crying out with arms and legs whaling about, once she started hitting her own stomach and another time her chest when she coughed. She kept hallucinating and it was just awful. We couldn’t leave her for a moment for fear that she would do something to hurt herself or fall out of bed.

9-11-10

Nancy Taylor Jensen can't sleep. I'm in too much pain and have tossed and turned in bed for about 2 hours. Jessica said her final good-byes last night and hung onto me and cried telling me how much she is going to miss me.

She gave me tons of kisses as I told her that I was going to miss her too but that she needs to go to heaven. She also told her brothers that she loved them and said "I might die tonight". The boys are remarkable and said some sweet things to ...her. I called Justen and he came over before going to work and his wife, Ravyn came by with her mother to visit Jess too. Several times Jessica pointed to where her cousin, Marcus, was. I know he is going to help her adjust to her new life once she passes and that he will show her around. My cousin, Martin, also died from a brain tumor when Jess was just a little girl - about 13 yrs ago - so I'm sure she doesn't remember him now but she will on the other side of the veil. Jessica will introduce Marcus and Martin to all the CHD and "Tu Nidito" children that we've known who have passed and they will become great friends.

Jessica's breathing became much more labored and she was combative at times. The Lorazapam wasn't helping so Karl called his dad to come and help give Jessica a blessing. Karl started singing hymns to her and I stood and enjoyed the father/daughter moment. Then I went into the room and we both sang hymns to her while we waited for Karl's parents to arrive. Jessica became more relaxed as we sang. It was nice to have my in-laws here and the blessing was wonderful. Throughout the evening we were able to have Jessica's aide (and my wonderful friend), Renee, here with us. I thanked Jessica for bringing Renee into my life. :) And Renee shared her thoughts and feelings with Jess while she was still coherent.

I have a feeling Jessica has slipped into a coma. She was didn't respond when I went to bed at 3am... but at least she's been resting comfortably (finally) for the past few hours. Karl is sleeping in the recliner next to her bed. I'll try to get a response again a little later when I change her and if she doesn't respond then I'll call hospice.

Sometimes I hesitate to share too much here on fb (and on my blog)... but so many of you have told me how much my posts help you - so that's why I share. Of course it helps me to write things down but if sharing can help but just one person then it's worth it. You know... I wouldn't want anyone to have to go through watching their child suffer as Jessica has throughout her 22 years and then watch them die.... but my faith has been strengthened through all this in a way it couldn't have been any other way. My beautiful, pure, innocent, precious daughter has taught me so much... it's a privileged to have been her mother for 22 yrs in this life and for all eternity to come. Jessica loves life more than anyone I know... and that says a lot considering she's suffered 2 strokes, has been blind, paralyzed, had 5 heart surgeries, hemorrhaged, is developmentally delayed, has had countless other procedures, hospitalizations and other surgeries, ETC. She IS a miracle. Even after her death she will still be a miracle. She is JOY. And I can only imagine what a joyful event it will be once she passes into the spirit world and can do all the things that she's missed out on in this life. She will DANCE, RUN, SWIM, SWING and anything else her heart desires. And it's going to be quite the celebration. There are so many people who have passed on who love her and are waiting with open arms to receive her. I wish I could get a glimpse of that event - but then I would really want to go with her and I'm needed here. My husband and sons & daughter-in-law need me and I need them.

I've rambled on long enough. Thank you all for your love and support. ♥

9-12-10

Nancy Taylor Jensen is touched by all the love and support offered here. Amazingly enough, Miss Jess was able to wake up and talk today. She is mostly sleeping but definitely not in a coma as I had thought she was earlier. Her breathing is more labored and she is getting congestion in her throat.

She is able to wake up for a few minutes at a time and then sleeps without all the hallucinations. I am convinced that she had a reaction to the injection of promethazine that was given to her two days ago for nausea. I noticed that her m...uscle jerks and spasms increased greatly after the injection and the hospice nurse looked it up and that was a side effect listed... about the hallucinations... my thoughts were that it was part of the dying process or that her brain was being affected due to her electrolytes being off but now I'm not sure since she has come out of that phase. The hospice nurse thought it was the morphine since we can't tell for sure exactly how much her body is processing or at what rates because it's in the subcutaneous tissue and with her muscle mass deteriorating so quickly... we just can't tell. Whatever the reason, I'm so glad that it's over and am praying that it doesn't happen again. What an emotionally and physically draining time for us.

I'm beyond exhausted and am going down for another nap but wanted to thank you all for your love. Karl is taking time off work to be here for Jess, me and the boys. I'm so thankful that he is my husband.

Funny story: when Karl and I were dating I received inspiration from that Lord that Karl was the one I was to marry. (I had almost married someone else 2 years prior so I had it in my mind that I was going to be REALLY SURE before talking about marriage with anyone else). Shortly after the inspiration that I received, Karl and I were talking and I don't even remember what words I said but out of my mouth came - the Lord has told me that you are the one I'm to marry so what are you going to do about it? type of message. One brief instant of me thinking that I was the biggest idiot on all the planet and Karl says, "You're right". We spent hours upon hours talking, getting to know each other - our goals in life, spiritual goals and family goals and they were exactly the same. After a whirlwind (and challenging) courtship we were married on April 19, 1985 in the LDS Mesa temple for time and all eternity. I've been married to the most amazing (and sometimes frustrating) man on earth for 25 years. hehe! I love him to pieces and he loves me with all his heart too. I tell him all the time how glad I am that I listened to the Lord and MADE him marry me. hehe He says that he is glad that he listened to the Lord too because during that small pause he felt the Spirit telling him that I was the one for him too. Good things happen when you listen to the Lord.

Just like Jessica said, "This is the life! I have a family who loves me and I love them too!" ... and I extend that to include all of you who are praying for us. This is what life is about!

An Amazing Poem by an Amazing CHD "Child"

The following post was shared on one of my heart support groups by Becca's mother. Becca has basically the same CHDs as my Jessica. Becca may be younger but is more "mature" mentally since Jessica is at around a 7 - 8 yr old level. I had the opportunity to meet Becca and her family several years ago when I traveled to a CHD event. Becca and her mom, Chris, have always been a great support and inspiration to me. They have been through a lot of the same issues that we have but also some very different ones. It's always amazed me how the basic same CHD can be so different in so many ways in two different "children". Also, Becca was the FIRST Christmas socks baby. She is the one who started it all. (If you don't know about the Christmas socks story, here's our experience: JENSENLAND and then click on Jessica's journey with CHD ... it is almost 1/2 way down the page but go ahead and read about Jessica's life before that event).

I got special permission to share this post along with the poem with you and it's my honor to do so. I thank Becca for putting into words what I'm sure MY daughter is feeling. This comes on the heels of a very painful & emotional night I spent with my daughter. Here's your tissue warning.

"Written by our 17 yr old daughter Becca born with TOF (tetrolagy of fallot), PA (pulmonary atresia), pulmonary arterial hypertension. She has had 4 heart surgeries, one surgery for a life threatening infection, pacemaker/CD surgery, 20 caths (or more); 44 pills a day, low salt diet, 02 at night, above 3000ft and when sick. Has been evaluated for a heart lung transplant but at this time can continue to be medically managed.

Becca wrote this for a poetry contest through school last week.

*******************************************

MIRACLE CHILD

I am a miracle child

Struggling the first months of my life

Given a 13% chance of survival to the age of 5

Struggling for years.

Today I am 17

I am a miracle child




Life-saving battle scars adorn my body

Changing my shirt, I see the bright pink scar running down my chest

Always a reminder of my yearning for life

I am a miracle child

Fear is part of me

I am afraid when my heart skips a beat

I fear being in the hospital

Alone. . .

In pain. . .

Not knowing. . .

I cry at the very thought

I fear dying

I am a miracle child

I know I am not like most

Valuing life

I celebrate the morning

I appreciate those who love me

And know

Everyday truly is a gift

I am a miracle child

Being a miracle child

Is

Frightening,

Is

Celebrating,

Is

Accepting,

Is

Struggling

Is

Appreciating

Is

My life




I am a miracle child.

Jessica turned 21!!! But is sick yet again!

First of all, I want to thank those of you who sent emails, e-cards and snail-mail birthday cards to Jessica. She has been so happy to receive them and asks a lot of questions about who it was that sent them to her: how old are their children, where to they live, do they have heart problems too? etc. There are several emails and e-cards that she hasn't seen yet because she has become quite ill - AGAIN.

Jessica's party on Saturday was a hit and she really enjoyed having people over... but she was quite blue and tired. The party was quite fast since I knew her stamina was very low. When it was time to open her gifts, Grandma Jensen sat beside her to help her since she seemed so blue and tired. I talked to my MIL later who told me that Jess was even shaking a little. But she had huge smiles for everyone and was so happy with not only the gifts but of course everyone who came.

Jess was quite tired and more weak the next few days and I rescheduled an appointment that she was supposed to go to on Monday because of it. The young women from our church came over Tuesday night and celebrated her birthday then. (Tues is their usual activity night). Jess was having a hard time being perky and happy even with cupcakes and pudding cake being served. Several times she leaned over on a pile of pillows on the couch and lay there. I gave her some morphine and got my camera out. She then remembered that she has a camera on her new DSi that she got for her birthday so she had a good time taking pictures of everyone. One of the leaders brought her 8 month-old baby, Malia, who Jessica just loved! The ladies and girls left after about an hour and Jess was in a lot of pain. She said her head and stomach hurt. I wasn't able to get her to bed until around 4:00am due to her pain and when she woke up the next day (1:30pm) she had such a bad migraine. I gave her tylenol and morphine, turned out the lights in her room, turned off her tv and made her have a nap. After sleeping a couple of hours, that usually does the trick. Not this time. By 4:00pm her tummy was hurting even worse and she threw up - a lot. Poor thing can't even sit up by herself during this horrible process so I have to try to sit by her and hold her up. I gave her a pill for nausea, more tylenol and morphine. After awhile she was able to go back to sleep and slept until close to 8:00pm. I didn't know what I should do so I woke her up and tried to get her to take in some fluids. She had to go potty and it was diarrhea. She was able to keep more fluids down, she perked up and ate some soup too. As I was getting her into bed at about 3:00am, her stomach started growling and I had to fix her more soup and crackers. She finally got to bed at about 4:30am. I was beat! I hadn't slept much during the day from worry and also taking care of her. I was hoping that she would be all better by the next day. - wrong!

The next day, Thurs, she woke up again with horrible tummy ache and head ache at 1:30pm. Again she had a nap after meds but this time I got her up at about 4:00pm. She was feeling better, and even smiled and laughed some. Karl was out of town most of the week but got home in the late afternoon and Jess was so happy to see him! Unfortunately twice tonight I sat with her in the bathroom while she tried to go poop - practically doubled over in pain and extremely blue and short of breath just trying to push. I thought she was constipated but no... it was runny and a strange color. She could be having another Ischemia attack or a bowel obstruction. Each time I help her in the bathroom (which is every time she goes) I look for blood. A very bad sign for her. The throwing up and diarrhea are both signs of Ischemia. I'm blaming it on the migraine she had but I can't be certain. She was just sick a few weeks ago with this same thing except it was worse last time. (Although I just don't know how she is going to feel tomorrow). Yesterday she was so sick that I started to have an anxiety attack. I just kept praying that she wouldn't die while Karl was out of town. Things are pretty tough over here a lot of the time.

Jess actually laughed and smiled a bit tonight and was able to eat some soup... but then she had the bowel thing after that. She was crying and asking "why me?" I got her calmed down and told her she needed to not cry but to save her energy to push when she needs to. I don't know why her. Sometimes I feel she has been through far more than anybody ever should and it keeps going and going.

The most amazing thing to me is how she keeps trying to be happy. She tries to keep herself busy to keep her mind off her pain. She amazes me. We talk a lot about death, what it is like, what her cousin, Marcus is doing... she dreams of Marcus every night and they go to Disneyland together. In the last few weeks she has told me that before going to Disney they sit on Marcus's bed and talk. Then they go and check on his parents and his brothers. Once they know everyone in Marcus's family is ok, they leave to go to Disneyland. Jessica told me the other day that when she is in heaven she will check on me every night before going to Disneyland with Marcus. I give her a hug to give to Marcus every night and every day she gives me a hug from him. She is no longer terrified of dying like she was 5 years ago when she had the lung bleeds. Of course I dare the bravest person to NOT be panicky when they are coughing up blood - choking and trying to catch their breath but can't. It is a horrible experience. So we are extremely grateful that she no longer deals with that. We are amazed that she stopped having lung bleeds. (Kudos to Hospice for helping us start the morphine therapy!) Jess has come a long way since then - we all have.

A dear, sweet online friend of mine just recently found out that her husband has cancer. This amazing friend has a lot of cancer in her family and watched her sister fight it many times throughout her life before passing away.... and she also cared for her mother while she died from cancer quite a few years ago. My friend is feeling deflated and kind of like God hates her. Well, who can blame her? I started looking for something that might help her (and myself!) and came upon this talk given by one of our LDS leaders. It's called: "God Loves and Helps All of His Children" Here are some passages from the talk:

"An... essential way to receive God's help is through prayer. We are commanded to pray to God, our Father, in the name of Jesus Christ. The admonition is, "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened." ( Matthew 7:7-8) Heavenly Father answers all sincere prayers.

As the Lord's prophet, President Monson counsels: "At times there appears to be no light at the tunnel's end-no dawn to break the night's darkness. . We feel abandoned, heartbroken, alone. If you find yourself in such a situation, I plead with you to turn to our Heavenly Father in faith. He will lift you and guide you. He will not always take your afflictions from you, but He will comfort and lead you with love through whatever storm you face."

I remember standing over Jessica's hospital bed when she was 3 years old and wondering if she would survive the day... watching her little body in a coma, having seizures, hemorrhaging and fighting a blood infection. We were told by several specialists that she was in BAD shape and most likely would not survive the day. The only person Karl and I could turn to was God. He was in complete control. The doctors didn't know how to help her. Jessica didn't even seem to be inside her body at that time. She didn't look like herself in a coma. We had seen the tubes and wires everywhere when she had her first surgery (at the age of 5 months old) and we knew what she would look like post-surgery... but this was 4 days post surgery and all these complications were making us face the fact that she was indeed dying. It was completely up to the Lord. Our bishop met us at the hospital and counseled us, prayed with us and even cried with us. Finally when both Karl and I could completely and with all our hearts say "Thy will be done"... she started to turn around. The doctors were doing blood tests every 15 minutes and had an OR waiting for Jessica. The cardio-thoracic surgeon told us that they wouldn't take her to the OR until absolutely necessary. He was certain that if he opened her up to find the bleeder then it would cause all her scar tissue to start bleeding again and she would not survive the surgery. (During Jessica's heart surgery 4 days prior, her shunt which takes blood to the lungs was accidentally cut and she bled out for 8 minutes while they finished opening and placed her on the bypass machine. After that all her scar tissue (which was excessive) and other tissue hemorrhaged for quite some time and even after closing they had to reopen to stop some bleeders.) Jessica had been in critical condition and was finally improving when she started hemorrhaging again, having seizures (which was later found out was caused by a massive stroke affecting 5 areas of her brain) and they found the blood infection. Any one of those things could be life-threatening but all of them together.... certainly she would die. You can see the surgeon's hesitancy to perform another surgery! He kept telling us that the numbers didn't match. Jess had lost 1/3 of her blood volume in 4 hours and yet her blood pressure was becoming more stable and her blood count was ok. After about 4 - 5 hours the surgeon told us that he was not going to have to do surgery. He said, "A power far greater than ours saved your daughter today. We did nothing but stand here and watch a miracle."

About a week later Jessica was able to breathe on her own and came off the ventilator. She was blind and paralyzed from the stroke. She was so weak and couldn't take comfort in my holding her. After a difficult day at the hospital I took to my knees at home and prayed to the Lord to help her be comforted. I told Him that it wasn't fair for her to have to suffer through this alone. I have taken care of her through many illnesses, surgeries, therapy, procedures and through all this Jessica at least took comfort in my holding her. That day Jess was extremely agitated and seemed to be afraid of everything. Her vision seemed to be improving a tiny bit but only enough to scare her. I could only imagine this beautiful little girl who was attached to all the wires and tubes being held by someone who sounded like Mom, felt like Mom, smelled like Mom but looked like a monster! She even seemed to be afraid of her own hand and she practically threw herself off of the bed trying to get away from it. So with all my heart to told the Lord that no matter what, I would care for this precious child. I've taken care of her through it all and I'll take care of her blind for however long she is here... just please - help her to be comforted, I prayed. A wave of warmth and calmness engulfed my body and I ended my prayer in tears. I meditated for a few minutes and then called the hospital. The nurse told me that Jessica seemed to have calmed down in the last 10 minutes or so. I had called my sister before I had prayed and she came over and sat and talked with me. I had wrenched my back trying to hold Jess and comfort her for 8 hours that day and the nurse insisted that I stay home and get some rest. Karl was new at his job and had already used any sick time he had so he was working and then had to come home and sleep. He wouldn't be able to visit Jessica at the hospital until after work the next day. So I went went to bed after calling the hospital again and they said she had not only been calm but had even eaten something! I woke up in the middle of the night and called the hospital again. They said that she was doing so well they were considering moving her out of the ICU in the morning! Several of the tubes and wires had come out since my last phone call! The next morning she was in the process of being moved out of the ICU. She was in a double occupancy room and in the 2nd "bed" (crib). I didn't say anything as I walked into her room. She immediately turned her head and cried out, "Momma!" SHE COULD SEE ME! I ran across the room, picked her up and hugged her as we both cried. I stayed the whole day with her. She was still quite sick but she could see and was comforted by me being with her! When Karl arrived at the hospital she could recognize her Daddy, too. She still had a lot of problems with her vision but it was slowly returning. When she went home - 3 weeks post surgery - she still was mostly paralyzed on her left side, her vision was still iffy, her speech was no where near it used to be and she couldn't sit or crawl - much less walk. We had a LOT of therapy and pain to go through still but she did regain most of what was lost.

I have seen miracles and sometimes wonder why I am so privileged to have seen these in my own life and in my child's life. I know that sometimes the miracle isn't in the healing - but in the relief of the pain - the return to our loving Father above.

I am trying to read more uplifting literature and help myself and my family to more readily deal with the trials in our lives. I know God doesn't hate us... He loves us and wants to help us through our trials. We are here to learn and draw near unto Him. I want to feel the comfort of the Lord and help Jessica through her difficult times as well. (who just got up out of bed yet again at 5:20am)

I'm thankful for all of you - family and friends who help us through the difficult times and celebrate with us through the good ones. Please pray that Jessica's pain leaves her body so that she can sleep (at night, lol) and enjoy spending time with her brothers while they are home for the summer break. Pray that I get some sleep and 5 minutes to myself. lol

Another prayer request....

I know I've had a lot of prayer requests lately. This time the prayers are for the family of a childhood friend of mine. Stephen Bowman and I grew up together - literally from birth to High School graduation. We were the best of buddies. Before school age we hung out together since our families went to church together and were friends. In grade school we ate lunch at each other's homes, we biked and roller skated together, did gymnastics together and of course went to church and other activities together. In High School (we had combined middle school & high school) we took art, band, choir and other classes together. Stephen was a brilliant pianist and he played for me many times when I performed (singing - yes, I used to sing solos). He also accompanied me when I played my clarinet. My mom accompanied me many times but Stephen (aka: Stevie) played for me as well. Our senior year in High School we had two of the leads on the musical "Oklahoma!" together. I played Laurie and he was Will. We had so much fun over the years, playing together as kids and then doing the drama, art and musical stuff together as teens. We would try to beat each other's scores in different subjects but he usually won - he was valedictorian and I merely an honor student. lol We challenged each other in art class and I have to say we were both pretty talented. ;)

So why the prayer request for his family? Well, it seems that a few days ago Steve wasn't feeling well and couldn't sleep. He took a couple of sleeping pills and went to bed... and died in his sleep. No pre-existing conditions... he just died. He leaves behind a wonderful wife and 4 children. I don't know his family very well since we didn't keep in touch much after High School. We just recently reconnected on facebook and I was so excited to get caught up with him and his family, etc. Now he is suddenly gone.

I'll miss my childhood buddy. Even though we haven't been in contact much, it's just an empty feeling knowing that I CAN'T contact him or see him again. I met his wife once, many years ago, (back when I was pregnant with Jessica), but that was the last time I remember ever seeing Steve. Here is a picture of his family that he left for me on my facebook wall about a month ago. Please say a prayer for them that they can get through this difficult time.

Pictures of Jessica on (and off) the horses

Here are some pictures that I promised you and even a video clip of Jessica riding the horse.

Here is Copper saying "HI" to Jessica. Leisel is the girl holding Copper's reins.




Look at the procession! Leisel is getting ready to lead Copper, Sabin and his mom are on one side making sure that she doesn't fall, Brother Womack is on the other side and Daddy is pulling the oxygen tank.


Look at Miss Jess sitting on top of Copper as the sun is setting. She is really enjoying just sitting there for a few minutes.


Here she is in motion. On the video clip Jessica had just said, "My grandpa is a REAL cowboy" and then as I turned on the video camera you hear me say, "Yeah, my dad"... because my dad is who Jess was talking about. My dad had a cattle ranch for many years so he is a cowboy. ;) I had to suddenly stop the video because I realized I needed to jump over the oxygen tubing or I would get knocked down by it. LOL (Tavia is riding Penny in the background to your right)

Sabin is on the left while Sister Womack gives Jess a hug.


Daddy's turn for a hug!


Sabin is so cute. He has to get his hug.


Here is the troublemaker. Tavia. She is telling Jessica that she groomed Penny just for her. She got Penny all clean and ready for Jess to ride. I'm just kidding about Tavia being a troublemaker. We joke around all the time. Tavia is a lovely girl and we love her and her family to pieces. This photo was taking right before Jessica fell. This is the horse that got spooked and bucked Jess off. It's ok, we forgive you Penny. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't any body's fault. In fact, everyone rushed to Jessica to see if she was OK. Everyone was so attentive and apologetic. Karl and I feel bad that the Womacks feel responsible. It's just one of life's experiences and it was great to have friends who love and care about us so much. In fact, Sister Womack, Leisel and Sabin came to visit Jessica today. It was really nice.


After the fall and things got calmed down. I had two cameras around my neck when I reached out and pulled Jess off the horse and onto myself. Jessica has asked me several times if I took a video of her falling off the horse. uhmm... no. I was too busy catching you to take video, dear. LOL She's so funny. But look at how brave she is. She just took the fall of her life, not to mention a very scary on at that! And here she is smiling only about 20 minutes after it happened. (At least we fell on that "soft" dirt. We both would have been in a world of hurt had we fallen on concrete or an asphalt road!)

Is that a hoof-print that Karl is pointing at?


ahhhhh, a familiar site: paramedics attending to Jessica. Actually, the guy on the left was pretty cool. So was the one in the middle of the picture with his back 1/2 way turned. They didn't panic when we told them about Jessica's low sats. The dude taking her pulse was trying not to panic and insisted that her hands must be cold when her pulse-ox was at 82%. I said, "Jessica! 82%? That's pretty good! You ought to fall off a horse more often! " The paramedic on my left thought that was funny as Jess said her typical, "Oh mom." Karl was telling her that she was a real cowgirl now! You have to be bucked off a horse at least once to be a real cowgirl. ;)


The pros transpoting Jessica to our SUV. Jess did a really good job allowing them to move her. She insisted that she didn't want to be carried but she did what they told her to and they did great. As the one paramedic saw me taking these pictures he asked if they were for her "cowgirl scrapbook". I said, "you bet!" and handed him my business card. I'm just kidding! I didn't give him a card but I wonder how he knew about scrapbooks. Gee, do you think I missed out on a sale? (I sell Creative Memories scrapbooking supplies - doh!)


Not too happy waiting in the ER room. The pain is getting worse and we haven't been seen yet. At least she has an ice pack on.


We are finally eating something after the blood draw and x-ray. There is actually a picture of me! (not quite sure if that's such a good thing or not....)


Can you see Penny's autograph? Good thing she doesn't wear horseshoes or Jess most likely would have had a broken leg. I believe if she had been hit just one inch towards the center of her leg then it definitely would have been broken. We truly were blessed in so many ways.


Posing for the camera as we wait and wait for the results so we could go home. By that time the Oxycodone has taken effect and she was moving her leg, toes and foot around pretty well. We knew by that time that it was not broken but we needed to see if it even had a hairline fracture.



Yay! We are HOME and boy did Jessica miss her bunny, Mary! And of course her bed sure is more comfortable - and it has Barbies in it!




This is what her leg looked like on Monday, one day after the accident. Now it's a little less swollen but very dark purple and it's all around her leg. Very colorful! She is doing quite a bit better now but still needs more pain meds than usual. (she is up eating right now - 5:15 AM!)



While at the ER, the doctor (resident) came into the room and said, "so she has Tetrology of Fallot" and I said, "don't forget about the pulmonary atresia!" the doctor then went on to compare Jess with the girl who chewed the gum in "willy wonka and the chocolate factory" and turned such a lovely color of blue. LOL I'm so glad he didn't panic over her. Later, when he came in to discharge us he said, "other than the hoof-print on her leg, she looks pretty good". LOL! He was pretty funny and really nice. He said it was great that Jessica was riding horses and making the most of her life. We try. We get worn out and get scared to death but we try. I can't tell you how scared I was as I was trying to pull Jess off the horse and onto myself and saw Jessica's head going down as the horse's hoof was coming up. We landed on the ground and I was trying to get Jess off my left side and lean her against me while trying to get her face up so I could see if she was bleeding, conscious or even alive. THAT was such a scary moment! wow! I'm trying not to relive that because she is fine. *deep breath* she. is. fine.

for now...

Jessica was in the ER

You'll never guess why! Go ahead.... guess! No, it wasn't arrhythmias, lung bleeds, asthma, stomach problems or any of her other million reasons she goes to the ER... no.... this one was special it was because...


She



got


bucked


off


a


HORSE!


My mom's comment... "what was she doing on a horse in the first place?" My answer was... "uh... trying to ride it!" doh!

Remember when I posted about our friends riding their horses to our house last year and Jessica got to ride Penny the horse and was sooooo excited about it? (Don't remember? I found the post HERE.) Well, we made arrangements with the Womack's (the family who own Penny) and we went to the stables. Jessica first rode on Copper, the Womack's other horse, and Jess did GREAT! She rode him around the arena a couple of times before she got off and then wanted to ride Penny. As we all were trying to hoist her up onto Penny, she got spooked and reared up and started to dart away. I almost lost my hold on Jess (she had already been jerked out of Karl's hold) and she started to come down. I grabbed her with all my might and pulled her onto myself and away from the horse. As all this was happening I saw Jessica's head go down and Penny's hoof go up. I was so scared that Jess got kicked in the face but thank goodness she didn't! She did, however, get kicked in the leg. We were both in a heap on the ground as everyone came rushing to our aid. I had to calm myself down because I was still looking to make sure she was breathing and wasn't bleeding! We ended up spending several hours in the ER waiting for x-ray reports and blood work but finally everything came back fine! Jess has a HUGE swollen hoof-print on her leg. Just an inch to the left and she surely would have broken her leg.

What a champ... Jessica still says that even though Penny bucked her off, she still loves her because it wasn't her fault. Jess still wants to try to ride Penny another time. The Womacks were so great... they helped us as much as they could and they kept apologizing. It's not their fault! We love and appreciate them so much. We are so blessed to have wonderful friends like that.

It's extremely late but I have some great photos of our adventure and even a couple of video clips of Jess riding Copper. She is soooooooo amazing! She is a true cowgirl because she has officially been initiated into the Cowgirl club! You have to be bucked off at least once to join that club. LOL

Awards

I can't believe that it's award-winning time again already. I don't usually watch the award shows. Don't hate me, but I really don't care who wins the Oscar, Tony, or Golden Globe.

So why am I blogging about the awards?

Hang on, I'll tell you....

It's coming....

You don't have to wait much longer... I know that the suspense is killing you..... but that's what they do on those shows, isn't it? They make you wait until the very last moment to build the suspense... until you are sitting on the edge of your seat, just waiting for the news....

And the winner is:

ME!!!! I won an award! I know, you can't believe it. I can't believe it! But here I am. Just a regular mom blogging about normal life things. That is, the "normal" life of a family. A family with 4 kids, all of which have their own special needs which include: Aspergers (a form of austism), ADD, ADHD, asthma, depression & anxiety... and that's just my 3 boys. That doesn't include my daughter who has congenital heart defects, asthma, lung bleeds, strokes, 5 heart surgeries, extremely low oxygen saturations, is on oxygen and terminally ill. Yup, I blog about my normal (boring) life. But I still won an award. Amazing, isn't it?

So what's the award I won? It's the xxtraordinary blogger award! See?


Dan from Chez Oddness honored me by giving me this award. Thanx Dan!

So what do I blog about that is so xxtraordinary? I'm not sure. I'm just ordinary and normal... whatever NORMAL is. LOL

Yeah, I blog about MY normal. MY normal may not be the most thrilling blog to read. It may not take you on trips around the world and show you amazing sceneries. It may not be the most entertaining blog around and leave you chuckling as you read the lines I type. But it is MY life. And do you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way. I wouldn't trade any of my children or my husband for anything.

This afternoon as I was napping, I dreamed that we were trying to buy a bigger house and that we were so strapped for cash that I woke up in a panic. As I opened my eyes and saw that I was home, I was so relieved. I love my home which of course includes my kids and hubby. I've been sick for two months now and was finally feeling a little better but then it came back with a vengeance today. I slept most of the day while Karl took care of the kids. It's been stressful being sick and trying to take care of my home and family. I also know that I'm having some stress about my oldest son getting married and leaving home, but who doesn't at this stage in life? Am I right? I know I am. My mom gets great pleasure in telling me how hard it was on her each time one of her children (including me) got married. She did it 6 times! I think I will get through this.

So you see? My life is kind of normal. But not TOO normal. Not so normal that it's boring. After all, I've passed 20,000 hits to my blog in less than a year. I intended to have some sort of prize for the 20,000th visitor but alas, it came and went without me even noticing what day it happened. Maybe I'll do it for the 30,000th visitor? We'll see... hopefully my family and I will be feeling better by then.

Thanks to all who enter this blog! I see that I've had several new visitors and I hope you will not be bored out of your wits, but that you will come back again. And to all of you who come here and read, I thank you too! I blog for my own benefit... it helps to get things "out", but it's nice to know that others care. You care about me and my family. I know many of you come here to check on my precious daughter, Jessica. She is amazing and blesses me every day. I am so glad that so many of you love and care about her too. She is sick with the cough/congestion right now but is not only taking her many asthma meds, but she is on prednisone too. She is NOT in dire straights, she is actually handling this illness quite well. She's my little energizer bunny... she keeps going, and going, and going...! and it wasn't her that the ambulance came for a few nights ago. It was my husband, Karl. He had been sick, severe coughing and congestion, and had returned to work (against my better judgment). After working all day, he was spent. He tried resting in the bedroom but was coughing practically constantly. He tried to come out to the family room but went into the kid's bathroom to lean on the sink as he collapsed to his knees. I came looking for him and he could hardly breathe. I called 911 and he laid on the floor with his head on a big package of toilet paper rolls. (LOL). The paramedics came and helped him into the living room where they took his vitals. He seemed to be doing a little better but he was still coughing up phlegm, had a fever and his heart rate was up. Jessica was crying, the younger boys were coming out of their room to see what the commotion was and Justen was not home. I called Karl's parents who live across town. They agreed that I should stay at home with the children and they would meet up with Karl at the hospital. The ambulance took Karl at around 11:00pm and he didn't get home until after 4:00am. He was diagnosed with acute bronchitis and given prescriptions for several meds. My in-laws stayed with Karl all that time and brought him home. They aren't spring chickens anymore and I'm sure it was hard on them to be up all night. I am so grateful to them that they were able to help out in that way. I know, Karl is their son and I know I would do the same for any of my sons. Heaven knows I've done it a billion times already for my daughter! But thanks again, Mom and Dad.

Poor Justen got home and saw the fire truck in front of our house. He saw the paramedics going into our house and just then the ambulance pulled up. He thought the worst - that Jessica had died or was dying. He came inside and saw Jessica standing there, crying. He was relieved that she was ok and since I was standing by her, letting her lean on me, he knew that I was ok. He still couldn't see who was on the couch because so many paramedics were in the way. He remembered that Austin has been sick for 3 weeks and has asthma, he then wondered if Austin was ok. Just then he was able to see that it was his dad sitting on the couch, talking to the paramedics. He told me later that he was relieved because he thinks of his dad as being a big, strong man and that he would be ok. I'm just glad that Karl wasn't having a heart-attack... that is something that he is at risk for because his cholesterol is high - but that's another story for another blog post. haha.

Jessica thanked the paramedics for coming and helping her dad because he is her hero. She also told them that they came to help her when she was coughing up blood a few years ago.

So maybe my life isn't quite as boring as I thought. I guess "normal" doesn't have to be boring. In fact, sometimes I wish my life were a little more boring and less medically interesting? LOL

So now it's time to pass the award on to 5 xxtraordinay bloggers.

First, I give the award to my sister, Karen, at i made it through another day. Her oldest son is battling brain cancer. Her blog is about Marcus, cancer and how cancer effects the rest of the family. They are an amazing family and my nephew, Marcus, is an amazing young man. I hope you pop on over there and at least see the picture of her 4 boys at the top of her blog. That picture makes me smile. They are such great kids!

I give the award to Julia from My Adventures and Antics. Julia has a son with CHD (congenital heart defects) and just recently had her 5th baby! Yes, she has 5 children and still blogs, takes the most amazing photos of the kids, and offers her prayers and support to me and my family. I think she is secretly SuperMom!

Awesome Mom from Adventures of an Awesome (Sometimes) Mom deserves this award! She has two adorable little boys who keep her on her toes. One of the two boys has CHD but I sometimes forget which one since he is so active! She is into knitting and made the cutest dinosaur for her son's birthday!

June at The Burnett Clan in Co has two awesome teenagers, one of which has CF (cystic fibrosis). June's blog is about her family, losing weight, her views on political issues and some fun things mixed in. June is very supportive of me and my family. She's a sweetheart. I hope she accepts the award. ;)

Last, but not least, I give the award to Jennifer at Jennyhaha's Flaw and Disorder. She has a way with words that makes you giggle as you read about her adventures of having 3 "toddlers" and another baby on the way! Yes, I think she's insane - but a sweetie too. One of the twin girls had heart surgery a few months ago. She did very well and is back to her normal, little girl self. Jenny offers humor and support.

And so I come to a close on my award receiving & giving post. I'm on my way to bed and not a moment too soon. I'm tired and sooooooo sleepy.

URGENT PRAYER REQUEST

I am sending out an urgent prayer request little Paige. Paige has been in the hospital with one complication after another since her heart surgery in September! She was transfered to a hospital several hours further away from home in order to get the care she needed. It's been a terrible strain on her family. I have asked for prayers for her in the past and now I ask that you spread the word about Paige as she is in desperate need of prayers right now. As I have mentioned in past posts, I met Jenn in KS a few years ago when we attended a CHD quilt show. Jenn is one of the sweetest people I've ever met.

Her mom writes:

To day is a bad bad bad day, she is unresponsive and sleepy...
Her heart rate and sats are good but the PLE is taking a toll on her body and they can't control it.. Please pray, chant, dance or do whatever it is you do... We need them... I have called all family to be here.

Things sound really bad - just when it seemed that Paige was making some improvements. Here are the photos that I have of Paige and her family - they were at an uncle's wedding shortly before her surgery in September of 2007.





Jenn was recently able to set up a carepage so she could update everyone on Paige's progress. To go there and offer support, go to Carepage home sign in or register (it's free), click on "visit" and then type in PaigeMarieBennett (no spaces). Please leave messages of support for them. They have been through so much and it breaks my heart to think of what may happen in the next 24 hours or so.

Thank you.

UPDATE 1/20/08
Paige is improving slightly every day. She is still a very, very sick little girl but she is making some progress. Jenn, Paige's mom, gives daily updates at the carepages website. The information on how to get there is above. Please go there and offer your support.

Thanks again!

The Lazy Blogger

I am a lazy blogger and copied most of this post from an email I sent to my friend, June, who emailed to check up on me. How sweet to have a blogger friend that was worried about me since I hadn't updated in awhile. So here is my update with only minor changes from the email I sent her.

Things have been crazy-busy around here. Jess has been up and down - she's had some pain in her right foot and she's been fighting congestive heart failure. We've been to the doctor's a couple of times and done x-rays on the foot and blood work. Apparently the x-ray was normal so she must have hurt it somehow but fortunately didn't break anything. Her foot seems to slowly be feeling a bit better. Her blood work came back that her thyroid was still low so her doctor increased that medication. I spoke to the cardiologist and I'm allowed to give her 1 or 2 extra doses of lasix per week but not more. She already takes it twice a day and if she needs more then we will have to give her more aldactone too in order to keep her potassium in check. Her legs and feet are less puffy and her primary care doc said that she looked pretty good. All blood work was good so she isn't in CHF too badly.

We had a marvelous Thanksgiving and I keep meaning to upload pictures and post them here. We had family come into town and I got to see my nephew who is battling brain cancer. He is an awesome young man and he and his brothers are growing up so fast! It was great to see my sister and her husband again too. My parents came in from out of town and my mom's sister, husband and son also came from the Phoenix area. We got to see friends of the family and my siblings that live near us and their families too. It was a crazy-noisy-wonderful time!

The best news is that my oldest son (who has aspergers) took a date to a formal dinner/dance at the church tonight. He brought his date over to meet us and I took a few pictures. I am so happy that my son felt comfortable enough to ask a girl out on a date. This is only his 2nd date EVER! He is 21 yrs old but his aspergers has made it very difficult for him to reach beyond himself and be sociable. He has come a long way since he was diagnosed almost 2 years ago and I am very proud of him. Karl and I have been coaching him on how to be a gentleman and he did so well! I am very impressed with the girl he brought to meet us. She is 18 yrs old and was so nice - especially to Jessica. She and Jess really hit it off. After Justen and Raven (his date) left for the dance Jessica talked non-stop about Raven and how nice she is and how they have so much in common. She asked me if Raven would be able to come over and play Nintendo with her and Justen, etc. hehe After the dance, Justen told me that it went really well and they had a good time. He plans on asking her out again and possibly bringing her over to hang out. Apparently she said that meeting us wasn't "as bad as she thought it would be". haha! I'll take that as a compliment! Karl and I wanted her to feel welcome and I hope we achieved that. We are both so happy that our son is progressing and making good choices.

I'll upload pictures soon - I promise! I haven't been getting much sleep and was ill most of the day today so I slept - now I've been up for awhile and am heading to bed. We are supposed to put up our Christmas tree tomorrow so I'm going back to bed so I can feel well enough for that fun family activity. Of course I'll be taking pictures of that! ;-)

I am so blessed to have such a wonderful family and awesome friends. I just couldn't ask for more.

Be The Blog

Bridget from Miles to Go Before We Sleep
gave me the following award:

Mark from Me And My Drum, who created this badge has this to say, "This badge is for bloggers who make their blogs their own, stay with it, interact with their readers, and have fun!"

I was shocked to receive this award, especially since I've practically been MIA in the blogger world lately. Thank you, Bridget, for this lovely award. I will display it proudly!

I now give the award to: (in no specific order)

Julia at: My Adventures and Antics

Emily Elizabeth at: Lovely and Amazing and Gabriel's Heart

June at: The Burnett Clan in CO

Jennyhaha at: Jennyhaha's Flawed and Disorderly

Melissa at: Adventures of an Awesome (sometimes) Mother

Chelle at: Crazy Thoughts

Jenny at: On Grace, God, being a spouse, mother, daughter, sibling, teacher, barista, and being myself throughout life
(who should also get an award for the longest blog name!)

Go and visit their blogs and see why I think they deserve the award. These women have not only influenced my life in a positive way but have also become my friends. I don't get to always read every single post of theirs but it's due to lack of time. Every word is worth reading and their photos are great too!

Are you ready for the cold and flu season?

Here's a little something to lighten the mood around here:

My british friend Dan is always talking about the "man flu" and how women get colds but he gets the "man flu". Another british friend of mine, Debbie, sent me this video and I thought of Dan immediately! I just had to share it here. Enjoy!

I swear, if the sick man on the couch had long hair, it could be Dan! haha!

Urgent prayers for our friend, Paige - and great update on Lindley

I had asked for prayers for our friend, Paige, last week who had some complications following her surgery. Paige has not done well and has been going down-hill. I just found out that she was flown to another hospital to receive a heart transplant because her heart is doing so badly. She is in critical condition and desperately needs a heart soon. My heart goes out to her family and loved ones. My friend Cathy has been updating me about Paige. Cathy had a son, Jason, who passed away under similar circumstances on Aug 9, 2001. I made a webpage honoring Jason here. Cathy and I had become good friends online before Jason passed away and we finally got to meet in person a few years later - the same time that I met Jenn (Paige's mom). Fortunately Cathy and Jenn live only about 2 hours away from each other and have been able to meet up more over the years. Cathy and her husband were able to go visit Paige just over a week ago. What great friends they are to support others when they have been through so much themselves. In fact, Cathy volunteers her time to the CHD quit project making quiltblocks honoring other children born with CHD. She made Jessica's quilt block not long after Jason passed away. Sorry I got side tracked, but I just love these families so much! I wish I could be there in person to hold a hand, lend a listening ear or give a hug when needed. I appreciate any additional good thoughts and prayers for Paige, her family and those who love her.

On a positive note, our friend Lindley did very well through her surgery and is at home! Of course she is still healing but how happy she must be to sleep in her own bed - or one of her sibling's beds! She is keeping her momma on her toes of course. Hopefully they will be able to settle in to a new routine and that Lindley will not be as nervous about everything. (((hugs))) to you sweetie! [You can read more about how she is doing on her mom's blog JennyHaHa Flaw and Disorder. ]

Prayer Request for two little girls

The first little girl's name if Paige. She had surgery to take down the "fontan" because her body has not been able to adapt to the "fontan" circulation. (The "fontan" is a surgery that changes the way the blood is circulated from the heart - it allows more blood to get oxygenated but sometimes the patient's body can't handle it and they develope many complications) Paige has had a very rough time this last year and it was decided that they needed to undo the fontan circulation in order to help her body out. Her surgery was on Monday and she is having some complications to the surgery. Paige has a blood clot just outside her brain and the doctors are trying to get it to disolve by putting her on blood thinners. She is having some difficulties that I think are similar to Jessica's after she had a stroke. We don't know if Paige has suffered from a stroke, I'm just remembering what we went through with Miss Jess. Please pray that Paige is able to recover from this surgery and that she is able to regain her health. Please pray for her parents as they are devistated and only want the best for her. Several years ago I went to KS to a CHD quilt show. I met Jenn in person and she is one of the sweetest people I know. I had gotten to know her online and it was awesome meeting her in person.

The second little girl is Lindley, Jenny's daughter. I had a prayer request for her a couple of days ago. Lindley was supposed to have surgery yesterday but her mom hasn't updated her blog and I haven't received an email from her... so I don't know how it went. One of Jenny's friends made a button that I am posting here and on the sidebar. I will post any updates on these two sweet girls as I get them.

Edit: I just got this update about Lindley:

Hello Friends!

Lindley's surgery went well yesterday! They were able to repair the valve instead of replace it, and she has practically no leakage now! The breathing tube was taken out before we even saw her. About 5 more tubes and iv's were taken out today. She still has a central line in that goes to the heart itself as well as a couple of iv's in her feet.

She went into surgery about 1 p.m. yesterday and was finished a little before 6:30 p.m. We've been really happy with the medical care she's receiving. They're keeping her fairly sedated. She's had her issues with pain and nausea, but they don't drag on. She's having a hard time understanding why I won't take the tube out of her neck or give her something to drink. She just wanted to see her twin, but Gracie was scared of her since she's hooked up to so many machines. So she still needs prayers for comfort and recovery.

We're so grateful for all your thoughts and prayers! I'll provide updates as I can.

Love,
Jennifer

Thank you for praying for my friends and their children. You all have been such an awesome support to me and my family, I appreciate your willingness to offer that support to these other families.