This is a place where I can post family updates and ramble about things as I try to find my way since the recent death of my daughter. Life has completely changed for my sons, my husband and myself. Our faith has been a great source of comfort and we'll continue to rely on it as we press forward.
I posted two pictures from Jessica's recent birthday party that go well with the theme SWEET. I hope you enjoy them. If you would like to see more pictures of her Pirates of the Caribbean party then keep scrolling down.
Jessica's birthday cake tasted sweet.
Here's the sweet birthday girl with her sweet cake.
Christinetagged me for a Song Description just in time for Musical Monday! I'm supposed to pick a song that describes me, post the lyrics and then tag someone else. I tag anyone who would like to do it but I specifically tag: Mary, June,Jennifer, Kerri, Jenny, Terriand Ruth.
I thought about it for awhile and looked for some songs but I kept coming back to this one song: "Because You Loved Me" by Celine Dion. From the first time I heard that song it seemed like it was written especially for Jessica and myself. Jessica, as many of you know, has had many medical problems throughout her life. She had strokes among other complications from surgeries. The first stroke was in her speech are of her brain and she wasn't able to speak. With the help of a homebound teacher and a speech therapist I spent hours trying to help Jess learn to communicate. I took a sign language class with my husband and spent time helping her learn sign language which helped her learn to speak. Later, Jess suffered another stroke which left her blind and paralyzed. We had no idea if she would recover from these and I contacted the school for the blind. I spent every minute I could with her trying to help her recover. Not only did she have life-threatening heart defects but she struggled to recover from the strokes. I have always wanted to be a mom and God blessed me with a special family. My sons are wonderful and my daughter has so many special needs and continues to need me so much that one could easily say "enough". Not me. Through the hard times I have seen past the disabilities, past the obstacles and past the pain to see Jessica's faith. SHE is the one who would not give up. SHE is the one who believed in ME. I would have given up if I had been the one going through the heart surgeries and the strokes. I would not have had the courage to face each day if it weren't for JESSICA - she was willing to face each day with a renewed hope and determination to do the things she wanted to do. She wanted to talk. She wanted to walk. She wanted to LIVE. She still has that determination and love of life. I also have to mention that God believed in me when I thought Jessica deserved someone better.... I had no knowledge or experience in caring for such a sick baby. I truly thought that Jessica should have gone to a "better" mother. God saw a strength in me that I couldn't see. HE loves me and continues to bless me with so much more than I deserve. My husband supports me and loves me so much to. I have found support unimaginable to me online. There are so many families who struggle with CHD who have opened their hearts to us over the last 7 years. I have also met other families who love and support us along with our extended families. We have a long road yet ahead of us and with your support I can face it. I dedicate this song to all of you. I'm everything I am because you loved me.
Written By:
D. Warren
For all those times you stood by me For all the truth that you made me see For all the joy you brought to my life For all the wrong that you made right For every dream you made come true For all the love I found in you I'll be forever thankful baby You're the one who held me up Never let me fall You're the one who saw me through through it all
You were my strength when I was weak You were my voice when I couldn't speak You were my eyes when I couldn't see You saw the best there was in me Lifted me up when I couldn't reach You gave me faith 'cause you believed I'm everything I am Because you loved me
You gave me wings and made me fly You touched my hand I could touch the sky I lost my faith, you gave it back to me You said no star was out of reach You stood by me and I stood tall I had your love I had it all I'm grateful for each day you gave me Maybe I don't know that much But I know this much is true I was blessed because I was loved by you
You were my strength when I was weak You were my voice when I couldn't speak You were my eyes when I couldn't see You saw the best there was in me Lifted me up when I couldn't reach You gave me faith 'cause you believed I'm everything I am Because you loved me
You were always there for me The tender wind that carried me A light in the dark shining your love into my life You've been my inspiration Through the lies you were the truth My world is a better place because of you
You were my strength when I was weak You were my voice when I couldn't speak You were my eyes when I couldn't see You saw the best there was in me Lifted me up when I couldn't reach You gave me faith 'cause you believed I'm everything I am Because you loved me
You were my strength when I was weak You were my voice when I couldn't speak You were my eyes when I couldn't see You saw the best there was in me Lifted me up when I couldn't reach You gave me faith 'cause you believed I'm everything I am Because you loved me
Jessica had never seen a real horse up close and it has been one of her dreams to do so. A good friend of ours, Susan, asked a friend of hers who owns some horses if we could bring Jess to see one of hers. Joyce, (Susan's friend) contacted the owners of the stables where she keeps her horses and they OK'ed the visit. So today was the big day! Miss Jess had so much fun!
Here is Joyce ("Juice") with her horse, Emkay Tucson
Juice took Tucson out to an arena so he could run for us.
Tucson is such a beautiful horse!
Jessica and Susan hanging out in the shade, watching Tucson run. I don't know the name of the horse in the background but we visited him a little later.
Jessica gives Tucson some grass to eat.
Jessica really enjoyed petting Tucson. He would turn to her every time she called his name.
Jessica got to feed a colt that lives on the property.
The other horse seems jealous over the attention that Jess is giving the colt.
Good thing that Jessica's wheelchair wheels have traction!
Juice is teaching Jessica how to feed a carrot to a horse without getting her fingers bit off.
Jess isn't even afraid and does it all by herself. (although her thumb is sticking up and it's not supposed to be, but at least no fingers are missing!)
Karl and I get to have a picture taken with Miss Jess and the horse. The "hat" over his head is to keep out the flies. The horse can see through it just fine.
Here is a trainer. She was able to get this show horse to side step. It was quite amazing!
This young lady is Alex and she helps around the stables. She was grooming this horse.
Alex getting her all saddled up.
This guy is a stallion. He was showing his teeth and sticking his tongue out at us. Of course he quit doing it once I got the camera turned on! He was quite funny.
I've got my eye on you.
This man is a professional shoer. The horse he is working on, Domino, is 33 years old! He was very nice and it was very interesting for Jess and I to watch him trim the horse's hooves.
Here he is again, working on the horse's hooves. The owner of the horse is a sweet older lady.
The lady had a dog who's name is Dutchess. Dutchess has diabetes and is blind. Jessica told the lady that she was blind when she was 3 yrs old. I explained about her strokes and heart surgeries. They were amazed.
Here is the last horse that we saw today. Her name is Sunshine but they let Jessica nickname her Lightening. It's been Jessica's dream to have a brown horse with a white stripe down her nose and to name her lightening. Jessica was so happy that they are going to let her nickname the horse. They told us that they are even going to make a sign so that when Jessica comes back to visit, this horse's name will be Lightening on her stall door.
Jessica keeps thanking Karl and I for taking her to see the horses. She has talked about nothing else all day and keeps saying that this was the best day of her life! She didn't want to leave... she LOVES it at the stables and loves the horses. The stable owners and Juice said that she could come back many times. She is soooooooo happy.
In April of this year I had 10 inches of hair cut off and donated it to Locks of Love. I did so in honor of my nephew, Marcus, who is battling brain cancer (who is doing very well right now, by the way).
At the salon right before the big SNIP!
This is my friend, Lisa, who happens to work at the salon. She is about to cut off my hair.
This is my "after" picture.
Here is the back. All that curl is NATURAL!! Who knew? It hasn't ever been this curly before. Could there be a perk to getting older??? (please let there be SOMETHING good about getting older.) I should add that I have had my hair short most of my life and have always had to have perms to have curly hair. The last time I had a perm was 5 or 6 years ago (if not longer) and that hair has long since been cut off. It's always been wavy but not curly. I like it!
This picture of Charlie made me think of my Musical Monday song which starts out: I'm lying alone with my head on the phone, thinking of you 'til it hurts...
Anyone know what song it is? Here's a hint: I'm a closet Air Supply fan.
Karl and I both loved Air Supply when we were dating. We loved to dance to their songs. We still think back to that whirlwind time when we were first falling in love, got married and became a family together. Of course the song I posted, "I'm All Out of Love" doesn't describe how we feel, hehe... but it's an Air Supply Song and you know.. I would be lost without Karl and him without me. We tell each other that all the time. We have been married 22 years and still going strong! In fact... our marriage is stronger than ever!
YAY! I FINALLY get to show off my shoe collection.
These are my retro shoes. They remind me of when I was a little girl in the 60's and 70's. Ahhh... those were the good 'ol days and the styles rocked!
These are my gold converse shoes that I was given as a thank you gift for participating in the women's NBA last year. I use them to do my Michael Jordon impressions by slam dunking the basketball after doing a triple twist midair.
These are a valentine's gift from my hubby. Isn't he sweet?
I use these when I go out and don't want to have to carry my cell phone. They come in quite handy except that people keep calling me agent 99. What's up with that?
These are for the 4th of July. Good thing I was born with that extra foot.
I wear these to paint the eves on the house. Who needs a ladder with these shoes?
I wear these when I play with my cat. He thinks I brought him two new playmates. Update: I can no longer wear these shoes since they got into a cat fight and broke my ankle.
And finally, I wear these when I want to go barefoot.
I hope you enjoyed my shoe gallery. Thanks for stopping by!
Welcome to Jessica's 19th birthday party, friends and family!
Susan and Randy
Jessica and Susan
Jessica and Amanda
Justen, Jessica and Grandma Jensen
Jessica with her Pirates of the Caribbean cake
Look at the cake!
Here's the side
The candles are lit! Don't worry, we take Jessica's oxygen off before lighting the candles. We don't need fireworks on her birthday! ha! She got all 19 candles out in one try! I didn't get a good picture of her blowing them out but she surprised us and did it!
Here is Jessica with Elizabeth Swann, Elizabeth's long-lost sister, Jack Sparrow and Will Turner.
I bet you didn't know that Jessica was such good friends with the cast from the movies, did you?
Here's Jessica with the cast on "Isla De Muerte" and the pirate's flag in the background.
Pirate Austin in the crow's nest flying the pirate flag.
Austin may have to be in the next movie. He looks great with the cast!
Of course these are friends of ours - from our church. They were so awesome to dress up and surprise Jessica. We really appreciated them coming to the party.
Even Jack Sparrow needs to eat.... sitting next to his dad. In the background other party goers are enjoying Eegees sub sandwiches and slushes.
