Friday, April 27, 2007

Pokemon Philosophy

Jessica got her new Pokemon Diamond game for the nintendo DS today. She has been wandering around capturing pokemon on the game most of the day. This evening she showed me that one pokemon that she captured has evolved already.

It looks like a beaver.

She said, "Mom, do you know what "evolve" in Japanese means?"

Not knowing any Japanese I said no.

Jess: "It means to me the same as what we do in our lives. We start out as babies and as we get older we learn and grow and change, just like Pokemon do."

I realized that she was thinking that the word "evolve" was a Japaneses word. lol... I didn't correct her, I just listened to her deep philosophical thoughts.

Jess continues: "So we are like Pokemon because we change too. Huh, Mom?" Of course I agreed.

I have been trying to teach Jessica this very concept for a very long time. You see, she is "stuck" at about a 7 to 8 year old level. I'm not saying that she can't learn but she seems to forget what she learns and she is too ill to go to school very often so academically she isn't progressing very rapidly. I could help her more at home but I have decided to not push academics onto her and let her enjoy her life. We do things together and I take opportunities to help her but I don't set a time frame for her to do certain work like homeschooling moms do. She doesn't need to stress out about school work when her body is struggling to just survive. Also, another interesting thing, is that emotionally she seems to have digressed in the last few years instead of progressing. She cries very easily, gets her feelings hurt, throws a few temper tantrums, gets scared of the dark and other behaviors that I thought she had once outgrown. (yes, I know that teenagers throw temper tantrums too but the way she carries on is the same as when she was much younger. Her pediatric cardiologist said, "She handles herself like a pediatric patient." I thought that was a very good way of describing her. She is very innocent and sensitive. I wouldn't want her any other way, really. But one thing that she has noticed is that a lot of her friends have gone on and left her in their dust so-to-speak. Most of her friends from church who are her age are away at college and/or have jobs. Jessica prefers to play with her barbies and play her pokemon games. Even other special ed kids have graduated and have part time jobs in the community. One of Jessica's special ed teachers left the school last year to take a different job and the other main special ed teacher is retiring this year. There are only a handful of people at the high school who she really knows well anymore. I wonder how long it will be until Jess decides she doesn't want to go to school anymore.... it's not as if she goes very often anyway. Jessica's pediatrician is retiring - long story short- we had to leave him a year ago and find another primary care doctor (who pales in comparison and we miss the pediatrician so much!). Even Jessica's brothers are growing and progressing. Brandon doesn't like to play with the action figures at all anymore and Austin will still play with her sometimes. Justen is working, driving and even going to his own ward for church that is suited for the young adults.

Everyone and everything is changing around her and she doesn't understand it.... until maybe... just maybe... today.

My dad taught me that the only constant in life is change.

Hopefully the Pokemon can teach Jessica the same thing.


Ruth said...

Sniff! Good post. I am glad Jess got that little "spark" of knowledge from her game. It showed it to her on her level where she can "get it". {{BIG HUGS}} to both of you!

~Jennifer said...

Aw, such a bittersweet post. I can't decide how to feel, touched and a little sad I think. Jessica sounds like a very special girl.